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Try being in your twenties I feel like common courtesy died out and the majority of people are just clueless. Every date I go on, my cat looks more and more attractive as a life partner! lol, actually though...
Ohmygoodness this made me larf....LOL.
I have a cat too. I feel ya.
At least I am not the only one. Silly little manners go a long way with me. Seems like an easy way to get someone to like you.
Silly little manners go a long way with me. Seems like an easy way to get someone to like you.
You'd think it would be a no-brainer. But it seems like life has gotten so casual--no more dates, just "hanging out", "casual Fridays" at work have become the daily norm, etc., etc., so maybe the younger guys can't be bothered. Maybe they see it as old-fashioned fuddy-duddy stuff. Maybe they filed it under "Ew".
-Hold doors open, wait for women to sit down first, let her go through a door first etc
-Offer drinks or anything when I am getting one
-Walk her to her door or whatever.. never let a woman walk alone in the dark even if you can see her
-I always offer to pay, on the first date I would expect to pay, afterwards I would probably appreciate an offer at least by the woman to pay
I had a date tonight, and, as I see more and more as the norm, he had bad manners. Based on that alone I don't think I could like him because it was along the lines of inconsideration. Such as going to the bar, just wandering off, without saying so and not asking if I want anything....and I don't mean that he would have to pay for it. Just regular stuff I do with others, no matter the relation.
I hold doors for all people and walk others to their cars. I am getting none of this from many dates.
These guys are in their 30s though. I am in my 40s. I don't know if it is a generational thing. Even if they don't like me such disrespect is baffling.
Or maybe I am just a stick in the mud who is hung up on manners and should only date the elderly if I want manners.
Lack of manners has just really turned me off of dating. I want to leave in the middle of some of these dates because I doubt their manners will get better as the evening wears on.
Anyone see the same? Have opinions?
It is my personal opinion that the "secret society" (lol) of bad boy PUAs are seriously disturbing human evolution. J/k, but not really.
All jokes aside, I've witnessed some guys with really poor manners. I met two. One was a complete stranger, and we dated, and I made an excuse to leave early on our first date. I don't tolerate disprespect very well. I have low tolerance for poor manners.
The second one, guy from high school.. he was such a sweet guy in H.S. and we happen to run into each other again, and I swear his lines sounded so much like PUA crap, I was so disturbed, I canceled our date. And, the kid was so handsome. But, his behavior showed me he really was a kid, instead of that man I met in my younger years who somehow regressed in a severely handicapped state of mind. So scripted. So even more unconfident (cocky).
Bottom line: Zero tolerance for disrespect does not equate to your having to date seniors well into retirement age. Even then, there's no guarantee a senior will remain faithful and in good behavior.
My only solution is to know what you want, and stand firm to how you want to be treated, and don't take what happens too personally as these people can be really ignorant and weren't raised with proper manners (you don't want to be involved in that kind of family and social surrounding anyway if that is the case).
There are respectful men with kind qualities out there. They're called men for a reason. Not bc they are meat heads, but bc they do know what empathy means, and they are smart, responsible, know how to treat people right.
I had a date tonight, and, as I see more and more as the norm, he had bad manners. Based on that alone I don't think I could like him because it was along the lines of inconsideration. Such as going to the bar, just wandering off, without saying so and not asking if I want anything....and I don't mean that he would have to pay for it. Just regular stuff I do with others, no matter the relation.
I hold doors for all people and walk others to their cars. I am getting none of this from many dates.
These guys are in their 30s though. I am in my 40s. I don't know if it is a generational thing. Even if they don't like me such disrespect is baffling.
Or maybe I am just a stick in the mud who is hung up on manners and should only date the elderly if I want manners.
Lack of manners has just really turned me off of dating. I want to leave in the middle of some of these dates because I doubt their manners will get better as the evening wears on.
Anyone see the same? Have opinions?
Maybe they are thinking Cougar ! and don't really care about trying that hard ??
Maybe they are thinking Cougar ! and don't really care about trying that hard ??
Possibly. But, with that mentality, OP is better off seeing them for their true colors. Not all guys think that way. And, not all ladies in their 40s are Cougar (which is an offensive term btw).
Sophia Vegara is in her 40s. Would most people classify her as Couger? IDTS
-Hold doors open, wait for women to sit down first, let her go through a door first etc
-Offer drinks or anything when I am getting one
-Walk her to her door or whatever.. never let a woman walk alone in the dark even if you can see her
-I always offer to pay, on the first date I would expect to pay, afterwards I would probably appreciate an offer at least by the woman to pay
same here ^^^
Although I very very rarely practice my date skills
Maybe you need to look at the type of guy you're dating. I've never really experienced that sort of bad manners.
I'm not a huge fan of chivalry, and everyone on these boards who has ever paid any attention to my posts knows that. But the guys I date tend to be very attentive and I'm attentive in turn. The stuff you're describing is basically extreme disrespect.
What attracted you to this guy? And how over-the-top rude have the other guys been?
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I feel like common courtesy died out and the majority of people are just clueless. Every date I go on, my cat looks more and more attractive as a life partner! lol, actually though...
