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That guy sounds a bit aloof. If the guy was in his 20s I would let it slide since he may not realize that he is being inconsiderate, but being in his 30s he should know.
One thing I do my best with when being with someone is not to look at my phone. I've had some women do this and it is a bit annoying. It's not too common though.
Wandering off? WTF...heh weird. Sorry you experienced that.
Manners were the most important thing in the world to my parents, who were southern. Having bad manners or being "ill-bred" would bring shame and embarrassment. But I am old as dirt and times have changed.
With both parents working full time being the norm these days, many kids do not have proper table manners. My kids are grown now but when they were at home and had other kids over to the house, I couldn't help but notice that sitting down at the dinner table together for a meal was a unique experience for their friends and something that they did not do at their homes. It was plain as day. They didn't have any table manners at all.
I always thought my kids had good manners (and they do, relatively) but I knew that I'd failed my son when I watched him leave our house with his prom date as a freshman in high school. I was so shocked when he didn't open the car door for her, my jaw dropped to the floor. I blame myself for that. Somehow, in the hustle and bustle of raising my kids as a single working mother, I forgot to teach him about opening doors and pulling out chairs! That wasn't part of our daily life, so I guess I forgot.
Well, some douche is going to come in here and call me a white knight or some crap, but I am 32, and believe me, chivalry, or being a gentelman, isn't dead.
Not for me anyway.
I guess my momma raised me right.
My parents would tell me "Gotta treat a woman right." And, honestly that could mean a lot of things, and "right" could mean anything in any given situation, and since they'd never follow it up with any references, I took it as an open ended statement. Whether I'm holding the door for someone, or moving the chair out for a date, or slapping some sense in a woman because she's going nuts over losing her favorite pen and throwing sh*t, it's all a matter of perspective.
Of course, my mom was literally crazy, and yes she went to psychiatrists and got medication for her "problems", and my dad worked like 14 hours a day, so I really didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with my parents.
I was so shocked when he didn't open the car door for her, my jaw dropped to the floor. I blame myself for that. Somehow, in the hustle and bustle of raising my kids as a single working mother, I forgot to teach him about opening doors and pulling out chairs! That wasn't part of our daily life, so I guess I forgot.
No kidding. "Cougar" isn't defined by age but by interest in targeting younger men for sex.
Some women just attract younger men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Being worn down should not be a prelude to any date. I've made that mistake before (a few years ago), and it was really unpleasant.
Players do things like that, IME.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Sorry that's beyond bad manners. In my 40s I dated to the 30s and if a guy ever did that to me, he would find me gone. Period. No explanation, no reply.
If you aren't being treated politely, try to figure out why you are accepting dates from rude people. I found that just talking/texting/emailing guys gave me a good indication of what they were like, and I responded accordingly.
Sometimes it takes a date or two to get to know somebody.
It's not antiquated at all. I guess you had to be there to appreciate how horribly unmannerly it was. My son was not old enough to drive, so his date's mother came to pick him up in her mini-van. I watched from the window as my son opened the side door to the van and jumped in first, leaving his poor date standing outside, in her prom gown and high heels, to to fend for herself.
Maybe you have never tried to get in and out of a vehicle in a dress and heels. It's not always as easy as it looks. She could have used a little help, or at least the courtesy of having her door opened.
Edited to add - to the poster who messaged me and called me out on his freshman status. Good catch! He may not have been a freshman but he did not yet have his driver's license. It was one of his first dates. He did get better with practice.
Maybe you need to look at the type of guy you're dating. I've never really experienced that sort of bad manners.
I'm not a huge fan of chivalry, and everyone on these boards who has ever paid any attention to my posts knows that. But the guys I date tend to be very attentive and I'm attentive in turn. The stuff you're describing is basically extreme disrespect.
What attracted you to this guy? And how over-the-top rude have the other guys been?
She's right. You're picking losers. Pick better candidates to date.
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