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I agree with this. Nobody is a definite number. Everybody perceives the appearances of the opposite sex differently. It's not that cut and dry
Agreed. I don't think I am that hot. I think I am ok, not ugly, but no Kim Kardasian. I have had guys tease me and say I am ugly or weird or stupid.
I have pix of myself on another website, and many guys and girls there comment that I am pretty, hot, sexy, curvaceous, etc. So, it's different for everyone. Which is why leagues are not a good idea. A group may see one guy as a 2, just totally ugly. But one girl could think he's hot, or spend some time with him and become attracted and find him sexy.
My ex friend used to tell me all the time that I was pretty and was jealous of my looks. But all the guys I liked, she wondered what I saw in them, and thought they were all ugly lol One guy, whom I liked, she said looked like a whale-had big teeth, and was too skinny, and his eyes were too tight. My mother saw him for the first time, and said he looked like a spider lol But I thought he was sexy as is, and talked to a few other girls who also, like me, thought he was sexy. But it was minority compared to people who find him ugly.
Then there's the guy my friend liked, and tons of other girls who liked him. To me, he was nothing special and I saw no appeal in him.
Question for men and women. Sorry if it's been asked already
It comes up alot. What's your thought? Do you believe in leagues, and some posters' thoughts on that.
Like saying if you're ugly, you only need to try and date other ugly people? Or if you get rejected, you're being picky and "aiming to high"? Or if lots of people only want sex from you with no strings, they were too hot or good for you?
I absolutely believe that leagues exist. This is why you generally see people dating that are of similar levels of attractiveness.
From what I've noticed, most men believe that leagues exist and most women don't. I'm not sure why this is, but it's also something that I've noticed in real life.
I'm sure some do, but you also have people who are afraid of being alone, want to get married for financial reasons, are desperate to have kids, etc. I don't think it would be that hard to end up with someone who you didn't really want if you were desperate to get in a relationship or marriage and you felt like you couldn't do any better.
The problem is like you say it like there IS somebody you totally want and are sure about. Is there and it's someone you can't have? Or is it in your head? You'll just know it when it happens?
BTW, marrying for practical reasons is not as bad as you make it out to be.
The problem is like you say it like there IS somebody you totally want and are sure about. Is there and it's someone you can't have? Or is it in your head? You'll just know it when it happens?
I don't feel like I would be unsure or unenthusiastic about the right person. If I can't muster up a bit of excitement about a prospect, why bother?
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BTW, marrying for practical reasons is not as bad as you make it out to be.
I don't feel like I would be unsure or unenthusiastic about the right person. If I can't muster up a bit of excitement about a prospect, why bother?
It's not romantic.
It would take a whole thread to explain, but a lot of it is mentality.
It's like some people can work in a dry cleaner and be happy the rest of their lives while other people need to be famous musicians.
Now, for me, it's tangible. The woman who is closest to the one I would marry is just kind of psycho and high maintenance. It's just more trouble than it should be.
Now, it's your decision and your life and if you choose to be alone fine. But don't put down others who have a much more practical perspective towards mating. People tend to do that a lot here.
It would take a whole thread to explain, but a lot of it is mentality.
It's like some people can work in a dry cleaner and be happy the rest of their lives while other people need to be famous musicians.
Now, for me, it's tangible. The woman who is closest to the one I would marry is just kind of psycho and high maintenance. It's just more trouble than it should be.
Now, it's your decision and your life and if you choose to be alone fine. But don't put down others who have a much more practical perspective towards mating. People tend to do that a lot here.
I wasn't putting down anyone. I don't care what other people do. I was speaking for myself.
I don't know how old you are, but most of the people I knew had some serious apprehensions about marrying and having children with the people they eventually did with.
Almost nobody married somebody they were totally smitten and sure about. As a matter of fact, I can't really think of anybody.
That's just sad. I guess my friends and I were lucky. I can only think of two of my friends who settled. One got pregnant after dating a few months, and the other can't be alone. That's out of hundreds of men and women.
They do and they don't exist. They don't exist in the objective, linear, universally agreed-upon way that some insist they do. They also are not totally non-existent, including being able to gauge people in terms of mainstream attractiveness (ie. people who are generally thought of as attractive & those generally not thought of as attractive, using criteria like looks, social success, and personality traits).
When it comes to personal taste is when leagues start to become moot, as there will be so much variance in what individuals prefer and how they "rate" others. Women are not as often looking for their partner to give them social status (rather, they look for someone to fulfill their personal needs), so we are generally less competitive in dating and don't seek a common standard to adhere to for a desirable partner, which is likely why the league concept seems more of a construct to us than a reality. It's no coincidence men are more often spoken of as having "trophy" wives or girlfriends, because choice in partner reflects more on men socially and they have more need to impress, so there is more pressure for them to get with someone other men want. Notice I am NOT speaking in absolutes....
I believe people end up with someone close to their league because that is truly what they are attracted to when it comes to actual dating. This is someone they can relate to more, whether it's in terms of interests, background, or even social responses tied to their appearance.
Many feel uncomfortable with someone very out of their league, because they KNOW that person is out of their league, and they either question WHY that person is with them or they wonder if they sold themselves short (depending on which direction the person is not in their league). There may also be an inability to relate, as noted, and I think that is a much larger factor than most people realize.
I believe in leagues, and I am a woman. I do think that it is not just looks based though.its the total package.
good looks, fame, money, power, personality,education and more make up a persons level of attractiveness.
At the top of the dating food chain:
A good looking, slim, cheerleader is out of most guys league.
A model who has a masters degree is out of most peoples league.
A CEO that is athletic and good looking is out of most people's league.
Add in fame and you have someone that is very unattainable.
At the bottom of the dating food chain:
Hookers, homeless people, murderers, extremely obese people that can't get out of bed etc....
In the middle is the rest of the average people. These are the people that are in the average dating pool. I think there is more wiggle room here, and people just date who they find attractive. ( attractiveness is not always based on looks)
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-31-2014 at 10:56 PM..
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