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Or they wanted support and back-up, which they're not getting alot of. But a discussion on this topic can still work, if not for the OP, just others sharing thoughts in general.
The OP should have stated then: "I'll only read your responses without posting back" in which this thread would've had a quick ceasing.
The OP should have stated then: "I'll only read your responses without posting back" in which this thread would've had a quick ceasing.
Okay, you too please carry on. lol!
I think I made 1 reply. But I just lurk and read. If this was real, and the OP genuinely wants kids, she may have to chose between her husband, and a baby, which she may not get. As some stated it's a gamble she'll find another great man, possible she may have issues that prevent her from holding a baby, like Fran Drescher. So, it is risky to throw away a good husband to try for a baby, when you may end up with no baby, still, and no husband now.
I think I made 1 reply. But I just lurk and read. If this was real, and the OP genuinely wants kids, she may have to chose between her husband, and a baby, which she may not get. As some stated it's a gamble she'll find another great man, possible she may have issues that prevent her from holding a baby, like Fran Drescher. So, it is risky to throw away a good husband to try for a baby, when you may end up with no baby, still, and no husband now.
The OP (she) changed her mind about having kids (that means there was something wrong with the mind she had prior lol) and so to this (fictitious) marriage. She should break up the corporation (the state she's in will see it that way) to get what she wants and not shackle her now husband who never did want any kids imo. I don't like divorce or hearing about them, but something has to give to this hypothetical marriage story.
Of course my "gullible" post was meant respectfully just in case someone thought otherwise.
The woman is having crying jags, is depressed, and is fixated on the miscarriage. That's a pretty good indication that she's overcome with grief and that it was a traumatic experience (quite common for miscarriages). If it was merely a realization that she wanted a child after having experienced pregnancy, she wouldn't be living in all that emotional turmoil for 3 years. She really needs to get herself evaluated by a psychologist trained in diagnosing trauma and PTSD.
Nothing wrong with getting an evaluation. Why not.
But again - there is not just one possible diagnosis on this. You are attempting to put her crying and depression on PTSD and the miscarriage. Again - as I said - that is possible. But it is an armchair diagnosis based on paltry data.
Still equally likely - as I said - is that she has realised she wants a child after all - is being denied it - and is coming to the realisation she has to make a choice - children or the partner she loves. Such a choice is _equally likely_ to be a source of crying "jags" and depression and more.
I fear you are taking symptoms that can apply to many causes - and simply arbitrarily deciding one cause over the others on a paltry data set. As you say however - an actual diagnosis by an actual professional in the field would not be unwarranted or wasteful.
It's really very difficult to be in a situation like this. And i feel if counseling doesn't work then it's you who should take responsibility for convincing your husband for having a kid. Moreover your best time of having a kid is passed away. Take a good counselor nearby you who can help you and your husband.
I understand what you are saying and I'm trying very hard to see his side and come to terms with all this. Just so difficult when emotions are involved. I appreciate you reaching out to me with your view point, these are things I need to hear. Just hard to be pregnant for 14 wks and not want a baby after that, I wish I could turn it off. I wish I could come to terms with it. I'm going to keep trying and working on my marriage. I don't want to lose my husband over it. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
You are not selfish, but you are reneging on the deal.
You got married with the understanding that there would be no children. Now you changed YOUR mind, but he did not.
I cannot blame him for how he feels.
I have accepted the miscarriage and not still in mourning over the loss. I am mostly upset at the fact that I feel I can never have a child and the insensitivity of my husband as a result. It is making me feel alone. I am trying very hard to come to terms with the fact that I am almost 39 years old and may never have the chance to be a mother. Thank you everyone for your input. It's good to objective opinions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Nothing wrong with getting an evaluation. Why not.
But again - there is not just one possible diagnosis on this. You are attempting to put her crying and depression on PTSD and the miscarriage. Again - as I said - that is possible. But it is an armchair diagnosis based on paltry data.
Still equally likely - as I said - is that she has realised she wants a child after all - is being denied it - and is coming to the realisation she has to make a choice - children or the partner she loves. Such a choice is _equally likely_ to be a source of crying "jags" and depression and more.
I fear you are taking symptoms that can apply to many causes - and simply arbitrarily deciding one cause over the others on a paltry data set. As you say however - an actual diagnosis by an actual professional in the field would not be unwarranted or wasteful.
I agree with you. I am choosing my husband right now while trying to accept the reality that I may never have a child. Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
I think I made 1 reply. But I just lurk and read. If this was real, and the OP genuinely wants kids, she may have to chose between her husband, and a baby, which she may not get. As some stated it's a gamble she'll find another great man, possible she may have issues that prevent her from holding a baby, like Fran Drescher. So, it is risky to throw away a good husband to try for a baby, when you may end up with no baby, still, and no husband now.
We are currently seeing someone new to help us through this. But ultimately I have to choose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabethtyson
It's really very difficult to be in a situation like this. And i feel if counseling doesn't work then it's you who should take responsibility for convincing your husband for having a kid. Moreover your best time of having a kid is passed away. Take a good counselor nearby you who can help you and your husband.
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