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Did she deserve to be lied to? No, but it wasn't the OP's place to pull the wool from her eyes, and the OP didn't do it out of altruism or some sense of loyalty. She admits that she did it out of vengeance.
If it's not the OP's place to come straight with the GF then who's is it? The BF? He ain't gonna do it.
The OP and the GF already have a commonality.... his penis.
Do I think the OP had personal motivations? Sure. He told her he was not in a serious relationship with anyone else, which was a lie. Should she also be ok with a guy if she finds out if he is married? This guy was spending 3 days a week with her, not once a month.
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I love how he cheats and you're the "psycho woman."
Of course he was angry. He just got caught doing something wrong. If the other woman is smart, she'll get rid of him.
He's an ahole. Don't waste any more time on him.
Exactly. He's trying to cover up his $hit by blaming her as the "psycho" woman.
Who was more psycho for putting up and front and pretending to be something they were not? And, an active online dating profile? Sure, she's so psycho, and his leading a double-life is au contrare?
Scumbag. Douche by 1,000X. I hope all parties involved are okay, STI, wise. The infectious little.. words can't describe how despicable this person is. To put other people's lives in jeopardy?? STD reservoir p.o.s.
If it's not the OP's place to come straight with the GF then who's is it? The BF? He ain't gonna do it.
The OP and the GF already have a commonality.... his penis.
Do I think the OP had personal motivations? Sure. He told her he was not in a serious relationship with anyone else, which was a lie. Should she also be ok with a guy if she finds out if he is married? This guy was spending 3 days a week with her, not once a month.
I don't think she should be okay with anything. I think she should have moved along with dignity. She knew what was up the minute she saw them together. By confronting them, she gave him the satisfaction of calling her a psycho and making it seem like it was all on her. And like I said, I will bet anything that the douchebag talked his way out of it and kept the GF, so she really didn't help anything at all.
Butterflyfish, you are being crass yourself now. First of all, I did not make any scenes where the entire street was staring at us. We were just having a conversation.
If that is not what happened, then I stand corrected and I apologize. That's the picture that was painted in my mind as I read your OP. You said that you confronted them in the street. He emailed later complaining about you making a scene in the street.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tulip999
Secondly, I knew the truth of our relationship, but I did not know he had a significant other, I did not know they had traveled twice this summer together and one to his best friend's wedding, while he lied to me that he was going solo. He even bothered to tell me that he loves to travel by himself to find himself...what a BS.
Yes, he's a shameless liar, although he never lied about his intentions towards you. Guys like him are very good at dancing around the truth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tulip999
Lastly, why isn't he serious about the other chick? He introduced her to friends etc. It is going that direction and who knows maybe this confrontation will make her step her foot down and demand a full commitment with an engagement ring or else...so maybe this confrontation was actually good for her, after the fact. He seemed to be head over heels for her, when I saw them. I am sure if she demands, he will go for it.
We disagree about what a "serious" relationship looks like. Meeting each others friends and traveling together don't make a relationship "serious" in my mind. Men who are serious don't keep other women on the side. Men who are serious don't keep their online profiles active. He doesn't look very "serious" to me.
We might disagree about that aspect of it, but don't get me wrong, I'm on your side, tulip999. I'm truly sorry that this loser hurt your heart.
They were not in a open relationship, she was furious to hear about the OKC profile, she actually asked me to see it right there. I had to pull out my phone and show it to her. it was bad.
So, you had this extended conversation with him and her, and they revealed their entire relationship to you on the side walk converstion? And he stood there shaking his head up and down the entire time, while you had this discussion?
"They were walking like a loving couple that spend Saturday night together and went for a Sunday brunch. I said hi, introduced myself. He started rushing away, like they had to go. I asked the woman whether she was his girlfriend. She said with a funny laugh "I certainly hope so..." Sounded like what else can it be. Anyways long story short, I confronted to her that we have been seeing each other and that he never revealed that there was a serious relationship. Turns out they traveled together, they went to his friend's wedding together. I felt lost and betrayed."
So what. Was she supposed to have a sit down tea-party with them and reveal how shady he was?
You can twist the story around all you want.
What she did was morally/ethically correct. Was the GF supposed to be lead onto a relationship full of lies and expose herself to potential STDs while this guy has a dating profile up and they are both traveling together? Building a relationship on complete betrayal?
She sounded pretty calm and rational, and now she's labeled a "psycho" because she spoke the truth? People are nuts, I swear. Life in denial is so fabulous!! (lol, sarcasm JIK you didn't get that )
It was a casual relationship from the beginning. You were not dating him exclusively; there was no question about that. Maybe you were in denial about the status of your relationship, but live and learn.
My advice: If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. That is, if you can't handle casual sex outside of exclusivity, then stop doing it.
I think you owe him an apology. The fact is, who he spends time with when he isn't with you is not your business. In my opinion, he wasn't "cheating" because there was no exclusive relationship.
This is all true, except that the woman she found him with did not realize what he was doing. In this case, I can no longer fault the OP.
So what. Was she supposed to have a sit down tea-party with them and reveal how shady he was?
You can twist the story around all you want.
What she did was morally/ethically correct. Was the GF supposed to be lead onto a relationship full of lies and expose herself to potential STDs while this guy has a dating profile up and they are both traveling together? Building a relationship on complete betrayal?
She sounded pretty calm and rational, and now she's labeled a "psycho" because she spoke the truth? People are nuts, I swear. Life in denial is so fabulous!! (lol, sarcasm JIK you didn't get that )
I also think it's easy to sit here and judge when we weren't there in the heat of the moment. She reacted to the surprise of it all, it's not like it was premeditated. He's just angry he got caught out for all the lies and secrets.
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