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As long as you believe that, you're right, it won't. I'm glad you're in therapy-- I hope it helps you to change your outlook, though you'll also have to want it to change. I'm not entirely sure that you do at this point.
Dude, OP - you'll never get the women to admit that looks are important, no matter how hard you try and how solid your data. They're invested in perceiving themselves as profound and insightful human beings, unswayed by the lure of temporary pleasures of the flesh. So be it.
But I do concur with the sentiment that you shouldn't obsess over it as much, given that there really isn't much that can be done about it =/
I don't think anyone is saying that looks don't matter, just that they aren't everything, and other things also. People are just contesting the OP's defeatist (and false) idea that the really hot guys get all the women while everyone else is doomed to a lifetime of loneliness. That clearly isn't true-- average looking and even flat-out unattractive people get dates, get laid, and get married. If they didn't, only hot people would ever reproduce, and everyone in the world would be hot.
Attraction is subjective to a degree. I'm a probably a 5 or 6 at best, some women will think I'm cute, some will think meh. I know I'm not ugly, but I ain't Hollywood material either. Lol
Same for women, the scale usually won't go from 0 to 10 unless someone is hating cause he can't have them. Lol
I don't think anyone is saying that looks don't matter, just that they aren't everything, and other things also. People are just contesting the OP's defeatist (and false) idea that the really hot guys get all the women while everyone else is doomed to a lifetime of loneliness. That clearly isn't true-- average looking and even flat-out unattractive people get dates, get laid, and get married. If they didn't, only hot people would ever reproduce, and everyone in the world would be hot.
Give it another century or so and if we live that long, we'll probably see more attractive than ugly people. It's Darwinism. Lol
Attraction is subjective to a degree. I'm a probably a 5 or 6 at best, some women will think I'm cute, some will think meh. I know I'm not ugly, but I ain't Hollywood material either. Lol
Yep...That's where most of us are, I think. We'll never be a one or a ten, but we might be one person's three or four and another person's seven or eight. In my experience the key is to find someone you think is more attractive than you are, who thinks you are more attractive than they are. This goes for things like smarts and personality, too. When each person thinks they got the better end of the deal, they'll both work harder to keep what they have.
Personality, attitude, and interpersonal skills make all the difference for "normal"-looking people, too. A person who appears to be of average attractiveness in a photo can appear to be significantly more attractive or less attractive to us in person based on how they carry themselves and interact with us.
Give it another century or so and if we live that long, we'll probably see more attractive than ugly people. It's Darwinism. Lol
So, after hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution (and millions of years of primate evolution before that), you think the ugly people are going to suddenly start disappearing in the next century? I doubt it. If anything, I could see it going in the other direction, since we're less dependent upon physical traits for our survival than we were for most of human history.
Yep...That's where most of us are, I think. We'll never be a one or a ten, but we might be one person's three or four and another person's seven or eight. In my experience the key is to find someone you think is more attractive than you are, who thinks you are more attractive than they are. This goes for things like smarts and personality, too. When each person thinks they got the better end of the deal, they'll both work harder to keep what they have.
Personality, attitude, and interpersonal skills make all the difference for "normal"-looking people, too. A person who appears to be of average attractiveness in a photo can appear to be significantly more attractive or less attractive to us in person based on how they carry themselves and interact with us.
3-4 to 7-8, a bit of a stretch, but it could that way for some people.
I've struggled with dating and my best guess for why. (Keep in mind this just my guess, I'm no expert lol) a lot of the single girls I met, were single for a long time. Meaning nobody was what they were looking for, aside from a few guys that wanted FWB. I don't know, but I'm gonna guess these guys they liked were also liked by many other girls.
So, after hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution (and millions of years of primate evolution before that), you think the ugly people are going to suddenly start disappearing in the next century? I doubt it. If anything, I could see it going in the other direction, since we're less dependent upon physical traits for our survival than we were for most of human history.
So, after hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution (and millions of years of primate evolution before that), you think the ugly people are going to suddenly start disappearing in the next century? I doubt it. If anything, I could see it going in the other direction, since we're less dependent upon physical traits for our survival than we were for most of human history.
I see what you're saying, but shouldn't it go the other way? Since women aren't dependent on men, they don't have to get with anybody they don't want. They can date who they find attractive.
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