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4 days ago as I scrolled thru my IG activity feed saw that my boyfriend left a comment under a woman's picture where he congratulated her on her weight loss. He offered to take her to out to eat and will pick her up whenever then said "love you bye". After seeing this I immediately became angry and confronted him. I accused him of cheating on me with this girl but I didn't say anything harsh. He explained that the girl was a friend of his (actually an ex of his best friend which I still am disgusted about) and like a sister to him and they hang out on occasions. He says he loves her as a friend but not in love with her. We were both upset so we just said good night.
Further details of this incident and our relationship can be found in this thread (sorry if I didn't respond to the other post afterwards I was away):
The next day I called and decided to apologize. He was pretty much angry at me for accusing him and acting on anger. I apologized and told him I will work on that and never do it again. He still brought up that he was mad that I blew up. I then told him I still loved him and still wanted things to be how it used to be. I asked him if he felt the same and he says he don't know how he feels and brought up how I blew up again. So I asked do he want me to leave him alone and stop talking to him and he says "no I didn't ask for space we'll talk more later". So I just said ok. A few hours later he posts a quote on his IG page about not trusting women.
The next morning I asked was that about me (not even angry at all) and he just gets upset so I just said never mind. Then he says "good morning and have a great day" and " I said thanks you too". Later on that night I text him asking how his day went (as we usually do) and he said fine and asked me about mine. I told him I missed him and he said "oh really". I asked him did he miss me and he said "I did until you blew up and questioned me about my post this morning". After that I immediately became turned off and said "Ok I see where this is going. You just going to hold this grudge, be mad and probably won't ever forgive so I'll just leave you alone and stop wasting my time". I never received a response. He has a history of holding on to grudges and never letting go of things.
I'll admit when I'm wrong and will apologize and try to make things good with a person but I hate when they constantly throw things back in your face. I just think that's childish. I could never see myself groveling at someone's feet because I think once a person does that they are losing respect for themselves. If he really didn't want to be bothered why couldn't he just say so? Why was he still answering my text and calls? Or was he expecting me to grovel at his feet and beg constantly?
In both of your threads, all your communication is you texting and calling him. It seems like all the energy comes from you, following him online and checking up on him. That kind of attention comes off as needy and irritating when the other person does not share the same level of interest. It sounds like you are jealous and pick fights. You may be right to be suspicious and question him. I'm not saying you were wrong. But regardless, it doesn't sound like he is that interested in you, so begging and groveling would not work.
This is not constructive communication between you two. Questioning his intentions with a forum will not get you the answers that you need to hear directly from him. When your partner holds grudges, it's a sign they don't value finding resolution and stabilizing the disagreement.
What does it matter what he's expecting? What are you expecting? It sounds like you want to clear the drama and be given an explanation for the rift between you two. If he's not going to give it to you, move on.
IMO, both of you are needing things that you're unable to provide to each other. Find someone that brings out the best in you rather than the worst.
I don't check on him. We are friends on all social networks including Facebook and Instagram. It just so happen I was scrolling thru my feed liking some friends pictures and I saw those things. Coincidentally he posts something about trust 30 mins after our argument so course I'm going to inquire about it. I wasn't mean about it, but it was just a simple question. Why don't you tell me you don't trust me anymore instead of me going online and finding out you don't? We always communicate about everything and as I said before he always appreciate me bringing up thing rather than staying silent.
1. Only a passive-aggressive, juvenile, slimy, player-wanna-be ahole would post something like that to another woman in a place where he knows his current GF, meaning you, can find it.
2. You called him out on it. Good.
3. He continued to act like a passive-aggressive, juvenile, slimy, player-wanna-be ahole by posting another obnoxious comment where he knows his current GF, meaning you, will see it.
4. This means you are dating a passive-aggresive, juvenile, slimy, player-wanna-be ahole.
Coincidentally he posts something about trust 30 mins after our argument so course I'm going to inquire about it. I wasn't mean about it, but it was just a simple question. Why don't you tell me you don't trust me anymore instead of me going online and finding out you don't?
This wasn't a coincidence. He behaved passive-aggressively by posting an indirect jab at you on a public social network that he knew you would read. How is this behavior him appreciating you bringing up concerns rather than staying silent?
When he left your house after telling you he wasn't feeling well and then dropped off contact, that wasn't a coincidence. It was intentionally avoiding you.
Maybe you weren't mean about it, but it was not "just a simple question." From his perspective, you were accusing him of wrongdoing. It doesn't matter how nicely you phrased it or your intention to not be mean about it. Instead of hearing you out and apologizing, he responded with hostility and anger.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic Dreamer
We always communicate about everything...
Not anymore you two don't.
Y'all are not blending like coffee and cream. One of you is curdling every time you submerge yourself in the other.
4. This means you are dating a passive-aggresive, juvenile, slimy, player-wanna-be ahole.
^^^
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