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I think the OP is bothered by this guy's lack of self-control. She shouldn't have to delete or ignore him. He should be civilized and thoughtful enough to understand that there's no interest on her side and he should stop using her as if she's on a to-do or backup list.
I agree with your assessment, however, what are the alternatives if she doesn't want to delete or ignore? Continue to engage with a guy who can't take a hint, and won't back off when told specifically she's not interested?
I think the OP is bothered by this guy's lack of self-control. She shouldn't have to delete or ignore him. He should be civilized and thoughtful enough to understand that there's no interest on her side and he should stop using her as if she's on a to-do or backup list.
So? He's contacted her a handful of times over more than a year. She can't control what he does and I don't see how this would be THAT bothersome. A bit perplexing and a tad annoying - but once a year or ever six months isn't that upsetting. I've had guys call me 7 times a day before. That's annoying.
My point wasn't that guys called me all the time - my point is that this guy isn't showing a lack of self control if he is only reaching out to her once a year or so. My point was that there a guys that DO show a lack of self control - but this shouldn't be a big deal. We are talking about a couple of emails. She doesn't have to reply. She can delete them. This isn't a big deal. Sometimes people need someone to tell them when things aren't a big deal so they don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. This is one of those instances.
I'm not trying to insult the OP or anyone - I'm just trying to point out that this isn't something that she should be getting upset over.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-12-2014 at 08:03 AM..
Reason: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).
OP, I disagree with the people telling you to ignore the guy. IMO , ignoring someone is rude once you have met them. Personally I would prefer you tell me that you are sorry but we just aren't a match and you wish me the best.
If he continues to bother you THEN , ignore, block etc.
[Snip.] My point wasn't that guys called me all the time - my point is that this guy isn't showing a lack of self control if he is only reaching out to her once a year or so. My point was that there a guys that DO show a lack of self control - but this shouldn't be a big deal. We are talking about a couple of emails. She doesn't have to reply. She can delete them. This isn't a big deal. Sometimes people need someone to tell them when things aren't a big deal so they don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. This is one of those instances.
I'm not trying to insult the OP or anyone - I'm just trying to point out that this isn't something that she should be getting upset over.
I know what your point is, and it's moot. Just because you think it's NOT a big deal, it doesn't mean that the OP doesn't think it's a big deal. It's her life. It's her brain. We are NOT privy to know the exact interworkings of it. However, it appears that it's bothersome to her, and I was merely explaining the possibility of why. AGAIN, you and the OP are totally different people. Her perspectives does not match yours. Who cares? Why do you insist it's not a big deal when you're you and she's her? You're not helping the situation but trying to scream for attention to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HuntFishRepeat
OP, I disagree with the people telling you to ignore the guy. IMO , ignoring someone is rude once you have met them. Personally I would prefer you tell me that you are sorry but we just aren't a match and you wish me the best.
If he continues to bother you THEN , ignore, block etc.
She did tell him she's not interested. Talking to someone does not constitute interest, however, ignoring someone definitely (silently) SCREAMS out, "I don't care!"
Some people need to get run over by a Mack truck to understand things because they are that dense. Subtlety is an art, and most people suck at it.
Blocking him would do the trick, even though I find that quite cowardly. IMO, the most respectful thing a woman can do is flat out tell me that she's not interested and she doesnt want to see me. Some people, including myself, have some difficulties reading signs. I'm more of a blunt person so I expect someone else to be blunt with me. (i know i shouldnt expect it but that's how i think)
OP, I disagree with the people telling you to ignore the guy. IMO , ignoring someone is rude once you have met them. Personally I would prefer you tell me that you are sorry but we just aren't a match and you wish me the best.
If he continues to bother you THEN , ignore, block etc.
She already told him she doesn't want to talk to him.
She now can be blunt and to the point in one email if she chooses, or she can ignore his crap.
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