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I can understand checking messages, and I can certainly understand if it's a family member calling, because it could very well be an emergency. But to remain on the phone - and having a laugh - would be too much for me! BTW, my buddy did pay for the meal.
A buddy of mine was telling me about a dinner date he had last Friday. He says that during the appetizer (the main course hadn't been even served yet) his date's cell phone went off and she took the call. This woman talked during the salad, into the entree, halfway through the meal, he said. Obviously, not a business call or emergency, as the woman at one point began laughing like a hyena on the phone. He excused himself, telling her that he had to use the men's room - and just split! About an hour later, she calls his phone (he ignores it), and left him some nasty messages on his voicemail. I personally don't blame him for taking off; I think that what she did was very rude and inconsiderate! When you're on a date, unless it's an emergency, don't answer the damn phone!
It's rude, regardless of the occasion. The only possible out in this situation is if you have a truly urgent need pending and might get a call, tell your lunch/dinner companion as much, and promise that you'll be as brief as possible. But it better be something REALLY important. That obviously wasn't the situation here.
But your friend was even more rude for leaving her there. He's the bigger offender in this situation.
Easier said than done. The problem with that approach is the risk that the girl might cause a scene, right then and there. If you're a somewhat shy individual, that's the kind of nightmare you dread. There's no telling how a woman might react to being told midway through the date that she's being rude and inconsiderate.
I think in this case his behavior was justified. She wasn't being respectful of his time (and probably his money), so all bets were off. He did the right thing, IMHO.
How? You simply cut dinner short and take her home. When she asks why, simply say, "Look, you seem like a very nice person, but having a long telephone conversation in the middle of our dinner date was rude. If you didn't want to be with me, you shouldn't have agreed to come in the first place."
And, no, his behavior was completely unjustified. On the scale of 1 to 10, talking on the phone during dinner is an 8.5. Sneaking out on your date is about a 9. Short of actually striking her, it's about as offensive an act as possible.
I want to know what messages or calls are waiting. I'll check my phone now and then. Anyone who decides that 59 out of 60 minutes of my undivided attention is not enough can get over their self-centered azz. People need to realize the world is not all about them.
It is supposed to be when you're courting them.
Geezus...how did people ever survive on a date 20 years ago!!??
When you are first dating, you are supposed to be putting your best foot forward. If that's what you do when you're toeing the line and it's all downhill after that, then it's a very bad sign if you are already on the phone on the first date.
When I was dating - I never needed to check my phone. If I were ever to be single again - I would have my phone out just to make sure that the babysitter wasn't trying to get a hold of me. The babysitter would be the only person I would answer or text while on a date.
Geezus...how did people ever survive on a date 20 years ago!!??
When you are first dating, you are supposed to be putting your best foot forward. If that's what you do when you're toeing the line and it's all downhill after that, then it's a very bad sign if you are already on the phone on the first date.
People survived by not being so uptight and rigid and just being themselves. I don't "toe the line" for anyone or present a false character. If you aren't going to like who I am later I'd rather know it right now.
People survived by not being so uptight and rigid and just being themselves. I don't "toe the line" for anyone or present a false character. If you aren't going to like who I am later I'd rather know it right now.
You don't realize that you were being uptight and rigid about having to be glued to your precious phone. It's so pathetic when people can't let go of things that aren't even happening around them.
You don't realize that you were being uptight and rigid about having to be glued to your precious phone. It's so pathetic when people can't let go of things that aren't even happening around them.
You are aware I said "59 out of 60" and "now and then". If you would describe 1 minute out of 60 as "glued" then you have an extreme and skewed perception, in my opinion. As in most things, nothing is all good or all bad. It's a matter of degree and moderation. "Zero tolerance" is mindless rigidity.
You are aware I said "59 out of 60" and "now and then". If you would describe 1 minute out of 60 as "glued" then you have an extreme and skewed perception, in my opinion. As in most things, nothing is all good or all bad. It's a matter of degree and moderation. "Zero tolerance" is mindless rigidity.
It is a tool. Not your lung, your kidney, or your beating heart. It does not need to be with you every waking moment of the day.
No reasonable person would be "all or nothing" on the phone, but just saying you need to have it and periodically check it like some tweaking monkey...despite the fact that anything on that phone would be completely irrelevant to what you were supposed to be immersed in at that moment...
Do you get that?
Would you be cool is right in the middle of your date your significant other just got up and left you and walked over to another table and started talking to some other random people? 1 time every 60 minutes?
People survived by not being so uptight and rigid and just being themselves. I don't "toe the line" for anyone or present a false character. If you aren't going to like who I am later I'd rather know it right now.
I always love people who think casual rudeness is acceptable and how other people who object are uptight and rigid. It's an admirable bit of jujitsu, really, making the offender into the injured party, the victim of a cruel and oppressive code of conduct.
Yet in truth, people who check their mobile phones during a one-hour dinner don't generally do it once. They do it multiple times, almost compulsively. We had that happen to us Friday night. The wife in the couple we met for dinner was literally checking her phone every five to ten minutes as her son sent her updates about a high school basketball game. Mind you, her son wasn't playing and it wasn't even a close game. But MrsCPG commented later, it told us that she would have rather been elsewhere.
Look, here's the deal. There is a difference between being an adult and being a grownup. Adulthood is merely a biological stage of life. Being a grownup is a matter of personal maturity. If you cannot stay focused on the person you're with for sixty minutes, then I feel you aren't a grownup yet. It's not all about you all the time. I mean, hey, there have been zillions of times when I've wanted to check my phone. But what I would have been telling the person in question is that my phone was more important than him or her. And that's really a bad message to be sending the other person.
In truth, if you are indeed departing from the conversation to glance at your phone, then it's you who are the slave to technology, not the person whom you're with. Anything else is nothing more than vacant rationalization.
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