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I like texts like that, though, especially if a guy fked up and owes me some attention. OK.
Yeah, see I wouldn't. It would just seem insincere somehow. But that just goes to show you how different women are from each other. There is no rule that applies to all of us, and OP needs to just go with the flow, with each woman, according to how That woman reacts and behaves. I mean, there are certain common courtesies of course (like, damn you don't sleep with someone and then not even bother to call the next day!!!!) , but every person is an individual, and their behavior is based upon their own unique life experiences.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 01-15-2015 at 09:19 AM..
Your OP was more than a bit edgy or dramatic - I think you know that. And if you are only looking for sensitive, kind, sweet responses - I'm unsure of why you posted your thread here. I think that all of my posts have been good and well thought out! You are the one that said that we were all old, Midwestern, traditional people - and I'm simply pointing out to you that that is erroneous. I can only speak for myself - but that is erroneous in regards to me. I know that you meant it as in insult - and although I'm not from the Midwest, I do have many middle aged, more traditional friends whose opinion I greatly value.
No, I didn't. It was more or less to illustrate what's par for the course here. I grew up in the Midwest (why would I insult myself?) and I've lived outside of the Midwest in more progressive areas. I understand how values and morals tend to differ from one region to another.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
I'm glad that you will be more conscientious in the future. Sex changes things when it is with someone you want to see more of. If it's a one night stand - then it doesn't really matter. But sex does change things.
Tell us why you're going out with her again? It feels like you're trying to force a relationship where one doesn't really fit with this woman.
I'm going to see where it goes. I've admitted in the past that I've been quick to jump the gun on these things. She agreed to go out Friday. I will go out Friday and see how I feel after that. A last ditch effort, so to speak.
Forcing a relationship? Why? I told you liked this girl. We hit it off nicely when we've gone out. We seem to have a decent amount in common as far as complete strangers building a relationship goes.
The only concern I brought up here was whether or not her lack of communication may have indicated a lack of interest in me. This is something I will discuss after the fourth date. I will ask her where she sees this going beyond that point.
I disagree. I don't think he should date this woman anymore. Or any woman, until he gets his head together. He has shown his true personality in these 33 pages and what comes across is not very attractive or conducive to a long-term, mutually loving and respectful relationship. Just a few traits we have observed include exaggeration, dramatics, rigidity, defensiveness, hypersensitivity, anger, self-centeredness and plain, basic, lack of empathy and manners.
I also have the overriding feeling that he is not interesting or confident enough to hold a woman's attention.
Time for the OP to work on his personality and ability to understand the feelings and motivations of others without needing to check the manual. Perhaps some therapy that includes social coaching?
I disagree. I don't think he should date this woman anymore. Or any woman, until he gets his head together. He has shown his true personality in these 33 pages and what comes across is not very attractive or conducive to a long-term, mutually loving and respectful relationship. Just a few traits we have observed include exaggeration, dramatics, rigidity, defensiveness, hypersensitivity, anger, self-centeredness and plain, basic, lack of empathy and manners.
I also have the overriding feeling that he is not interesting or confident enough to hold a woman's attention.
Time for the OP to work on his personality and ability to understand the feelings and motivations of others without needing to check the manual. Perhaps some therapy that includes social coaching?
.
I do see your point, and agree with most of it, but I would like to see what happens with this date.
I'm going to see where it goes. I've admitted in the past that I've been quick to jump the gun on these things. She agreed to go out Friday. I will go out Friday and see how I feel after that. A last ditch effort, so to speak.
Forcing a relationship? Why? I told you liked this girl. We hit it off nicely when we've gone out. We seem to have a decent amount in common as far as complete strangers building a relationship goes.
The only concern I brought up here was whether or not her lack of communication may have indicated a lack of interest in me. This is something I will discuss after the fourth date. I will ask her where she sees this going beyond that point.
I didn't read the last 33 pages, but have you met this girl already? Is she the one you slept with?
No, I didn't. It was more or less to illustrate what's par for the course here. I grew up in the Midwest (why would I insult myself?) and I've lived outside of the Midwest in more progressive areas. I understand how values and morals tend to differ from one region to another.
"Midwestern traditional"? Please. I was born and raised in Berkeley, CA. They hardly make 'em more non-traditional than me. People are trying to help you, fleur. We even have that rarest of moments on CD-R, when the women and the men all agree on something! But you're dismissing us with a wave of the hand, putting us in the "Midwestern traditional" box. So, why should we bother?
It's interesting how you're contradicting yourself, and not noticing. You seem to feel that the first sex with someone is not a big deal, requiring no special attention or acknowledgment of any sort afterwards. And yet, earlier in the thread, it came out that you felt it was your date who owed you the acknowledgment/follow-up call, or "initiating the communication", as you call it, in order to prove she wasn't just using you for sex or for her own entertainment/boredom relief.
Do you see the contradiction there?
And what's this 3-date rule with you, where after the 3rd date, suddenly you fall back and need the woman to be the one to start initiating everything, no matter what does or doesn't happen on Date 3? Frankly, it sounds like you're not that into these women, if you're not spontaneously moved to call them and get cozy with them over the phone. (OMG! I said "phone"!! I must be one of those Midwestern traditional types, still using 20-th Century technology! Banish me to old fuddy-duddyhoood! )
But, whatever. It's clear you're pretty much gonna do what you want to do, how you've always done it. So, good luck. Write us when you find true love.
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You are the one that said that we were all old, Midwestern, traditional people - and I'm simply pointing out to you that that is erroneous. I can only speak for myself - but that is erroneous in regards to me. I know that you meant it as in insult - and although I'm not from the Midwest, I do have many middle aged, more traditional friends whose opinion I greatly value.
Please. I was born and raised in Berkeley, CA. They hardly make 'em more non-traditional than me. People are trying to help you, fleur. We even have that rarest of moments on CD-R, when the women and the men all agree on something! 
)