Well, I'm officially off the dating market... (women, kiss, sex)
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And it's not why you'd think. No, I didn't find any special person to share part of my life with. It's quite the opposite. The vast majority of women I pursued were flakes. They were wishy washy, at best, when it came to putting any sort of commitment in. There was little to no initiation on their part even when I made my intentions clear that I was interested in them. After this latest unimpressed woman, whom I've gone on three dates with (all lasted 10+ hours), slept with, and shared some nice experiences with overall, I've decided to throw in the towel. I'm done with the constant disappointment and being led on. This is no longer fun to me, and instead hurtful and frustrating.
I listened to all your advice. I made changes to my life. Before entering the dating pool, I got myself into shape and upgraded my wardrobe so I'd look nice. I always put my best foot forward. I treated these women like ladies. I brought them flowers on dates. I paid for dates. I opened car doors for them. I held their hands so they wouldn't slip on ice. I listened to them talk about their lives rather than take control of the conversation and talk only about me. I made them laugh. I contacted them regularly. We went on dates that went well and lasted hours and hours. We kissed. We made out. We were physically intimate. We cuddled. We did everything you guys say you like and I was everything you said you wanted.
Essentially I put my all into this and all I received was a lackluster response by the majority of women. So tell me again about how all you want is a nice guy who will listen to you and support your endeavors and choices. I was that guy and all I got was strung along and treated like I meant nothing to these women. Best of luck filtering your way through all the assclowns and dbags and bros out there that you claim to not be able to stand. Because you just lost one decent candidate from the dating poor.
Blah blah blah blahbity blah. Let's blame an entire gender, because that's a lot easier than continuing to modify your approach.
Two phrases stick out to me:
"We went on dates that went well and lasted hours and hours. We kissed. We made out. We were physically intimate. We cuddled. We did everything you guys say you like and I was everything you said you wanted."
As far as I'm concerned, that constitutes success. So, obviously, something downstream killed things as you moved into relationship territory.
"Essentially I put my all into this and all I received was a lackluster response by the majority of women."
Dude, all you need is one. It's a numbers game. Get your ass out there and try again.
Sure, blame the whole of womankind for your dating woes. Since you are indeed jaded as well as bitter, you've made the right decision to stop dating. When you decide to resume, bear in mind that no woman owes you anything because you treat her well. You can check off all the boxes on someone and still have there be no connection worth pursuing. It's great that you've made an effort, but to get what you want, you'd have to be willing to keep making it until you meet the right person. There is no guaranteed time frame for that.
Maybe you had sex too soon. You date too many women all at once. How could a woman take you seriously about a relationship with all these women constantly orbiting you.
Sorry to hear the last one didn't work out, Lafleur. Pulling out and slowing down is probably the best thing you can do right now, clear your head and get some perspective without worrying about the next date.
Blah blah blah blahbity blah. Let's blame an entire gender, because that's a lot easier than continuing to modify your approach.
You misunderstand. I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that what they claim to want and want they actually want do not seem to match up with reality. If one presents all the traits that are claimed to be desirable and yet continues to fail, it's a reasonable conclusion to have.
And I thought all the dates were successful, too. But the women do not initiate or show very little interest when it comes to communicating. It becomes extremely one-sided. That, to me, shows a lack of interest. That's why these things end.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Hey, if that is what you want or think it is best, ok.
But I think you're missing out that you're looking for one person. What happens with the other 10-20-50-100 doesn't matter. I've dated around for years without making a great connection, then boom, it happens. It makes it all worthwhile when it does.
Though I often took breaks too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
You misunderstand. I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that what they claim to want and want they actually want do not seem to match up with reality. If one presents all the traits that are claimed to be desirable and yet continues to fail, it's a reasonable conclusion to have.
The reasonable conclusion was you just didn't meet the right person. It is all about chemistry. You haven't met the person that you have the right chemistry with.
I have no doubt I could have a perfectly pleasant date with a significant a gigantic majority of the people +/- 5 years of me that I meet. Laugh, talk, get along, have a nice time. That isn't what it is about. It is about chemistry. That I might not find as a two way thing for 30 women in a row, then it may happen with three in a row. It's just the way it is.
You misunderstand. I'm not blaming them. I'm saying that what they claim to want and want they actually want do not seem to match up with reality. If one presents all the traits that are claimed to be desirable and yet continues to fail, it's a reasonable conclusion to have.
And I thought all the dates were successful, too. But the women do not initiate or show very little interest. It becomes extremely one-sided. That, to me, shows a lack of interest.
Or it could have been the full-court press that turned them off. Who knows. But, yes, you're essentially depicting all women as the same.
And it's not why you'd think. No, I didn't find any special person to share part of my life with. It's quite the opposite. The vast majority of women I pursued were flakes. They were wishy washy, at best, when it came to putting any sort of commitment in. There was little to no initiation on their part even when I made my intentions clear that I was interested in them. After this latest unimpressed woman, whom I've gone on three dates with (all lasted 10+ hours), slept with, and shared some nice experiences with overall, I've decided to throw in the towel. I'm done with the constant disappointment and being led on. This is no longer fun to me, and instead hurtful and frustrating.
I listened to all your advice. I made changes to my life. Before entering the dating pool, I got myself into shape and upgraded my wardrobe so I'd look nice. I always put my best foot forward. I treated these women like ladies. I brought them flowers on dates. I paid for dates. I opened car doors for them. I held their hands so they wouldn't slip on ice. I listened to them talk about their lives rather than take control of the conversation and talk only about me. I made them laugh. I contacted them regularly. We went on dates that went well and lasted hours and hours. We kissed. We made out. We were physically intimate. We cuddled. We did everything you guys say you like and I was everything you said you wanted.
Essentially I put my all into this and all I received was a lackluster response by the majority of women. So tell me again about how all you want is a nice guy who will listen to you and support your endeavors and choices. I was that guy and all I got was strung along and treated like I meant nothing to these women. Best of luck filtering your way through all the assclowns and dbags and bros out there that you claim to not be able to stand. Because you just lost one decent candidate from the dating poor.
Sincerely,
Frustrated and Jaded
The answer should be obvious, but since it isn't, (to OP at least) I will tell you why you received this response. Because women are generally intelligent creatures, and they suspected you were doing these things just to impress them, and not because that's the kind of guy you really are. It sounds like you really don't care to be nice to women and do these things as part of your personality, so you don't deserve an enthusiastic response. Thus they weren't interested.
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