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I'm 5ft and I have a few male friends ranging from 6ft4 to 6ft9 and I've never felt intimidated. More often, I have the illusion of being safer.
I get a sense of "protection" as well from a guy who is quite a bit taller than I am, although I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. It also makes me feel less "massive", and more feminine, if his features across the board are larger than mine. Having said that, there were men in my life who were shorter than I, and I was just as happy with them. Ultimately, they had an issue with their own size, though.
If that's what they want ....... Why would you want them? I'd rather be alone than with a person like that. Body size matters to me because I want my husband to be healthy and happy, same for me. But if he cared about looks...... I wouldn't be with him as its not one of my priorities. Basic hygiene- then we are good to go.
All of these things matter. Most people are flexible with these criteria but the key word here is flexible, meaning that we aren't indifferent to these things.
I'm 5ft and I have a few male friends ranging from 6ft4 to 6ft9 and I've never felt intimidated. More often, I have the illusion of being safer.
It's definitely not a super common thing, I've heard that a fair amount of really short women specifically go after really tall guys, but I've also heard there's a intimidation aspect for some. I'm also talking about initial contact as opposed to people you know and trust.
It's interesting you say this. I'm not sure if you were around for the deluge of "short guy" threads, but the theme was "height makes right" and if you don't have it you're basically screwed. What a lot of our short members failed to consider is that a whole new set of challenges exist for people on the opposite end of the spectrum. Often, the only problems one will acknowledge are those that affect him/her directly.
I'm 5'7" and just a slight bit shorter than the "average" American male. There was once a time in my life where I wished I was at least 2 or 3 inches taller. I've reached a point now where I wouldn't change anything about me that is beyond my scope of control. I finally began to think of it like this: "What would be different about my life if I were taller?" I had no choice but to concluded "nothing." Now I'm perfectly happy to be where I am and not extremely noticeable one way or the other.
Yeah there are downsides to being tall, no doubt about it. I'd say overall the benefits outweigh them but it's unrealistic to think it's all perfect all the time.
When I lived in Boston I would be constantly running face first into low hanging tree branches and would get almost taken out by low hanging store signs all the time depending on the neighborhood, coach class of airplanes is a nightmare, harder to find shoes to fit my clown feet(and I'm lucky, at size 13-14 I'm right at the edge of general availability), lots of larger sizes in clothes don't fit because the makers seem to assume that if you are tall and broad shouldered that you are also obese, short beds that leave my feet hanging off the end to freeze all night, drawing people's eye when you really just want to blend in, intimidating people when you have zero intention or desire to do so, etc..
As for attracting women, I've seen way too many average height guys getting quality women to buy into it being a death sentence. Women might prefer taller, but us men prefer a perfectly proportioned/sized chest and shapely buns/legs on our women, doesn't mean we demand it and will kick a woman out of bed or our life for not having it.
No, the way that works is that the first time, they went for a trophy wife. But she either turned out to be impossible to get along with, or she cheated on him. So now he'd be fine with "average" but easy to get along with, if he were looking IRL, but online he gets distracted by all the young ones, and gets it into his head that he might be able to get a young one to nurse after him as he gets older. He may have started out with good intentions, but the catalog distracted him, so he's about to make the same mistake all over again.
Well-phrased! I'd add that our hypothetical male wife-shopper must contend with poor results on line, and therefore feels frustrated. As he broadens his search, he does so less from newfound wisdom than from feeling that if he "lowers his standards", then his chances will improve. But they don't. The women whom he meets eventually feel resentment that he "settled" for them, and leave him, even if they themselves feel attracted to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll
What a lot of our short members failed to consider is that a whole new set of challenges exist for people on the opposite end of the spectrum. ...
Problems arise whenever anyone for any reason is far away from the median. This holds whether somebody is intellectually brilliant or mentally-challenged, too short or too tall, a high-school dropout or holds a Ph.D. Mainstream society assumes mainstream properties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll
I'm 5'7" and just a slight bit shorter than the "average" American male. There was once a time in my life where I wished I was at least 2 or 3 inches taller. I've reached a point now where I wouldn't change anything about me that is beyond my scope of control. I finally began to think of it like this: "What would be different about my life if I were taller?" I had no choice but to concluded "nothing." Now I'm perfectly happy to be where I am and not extremely noticeable one way or the other.
I'm 1"-2" taller, yet still feel puerile urge to be incrementally taller still. What would be different about my life is self-conceptualization.
Napoleon Bonaparte was actually of average height for his ethnicity and epoch - about 5'6"; he may have even been slightly taller than average, given the paltry diet back then. Yet we have the term "Napoleon complex", and to some extent I've been afflicted by it. The compensation was to lift weights, which has led to...
Quote:
Originally Posted by tofur
... lots of larger sizes in clothes don't fit because the makers seem to assume that if you are tall and broad shouldered that you are also obese...
Practical problems such as finding suits with a 14" drop (difference between chest and waist circumference). Yet athletic-build has done nothing to improve my dating-prospects. It has however improved self-conceptualization.
Practical problems such as finding suits with a 14" drop (difference between chest and waist circumference). Yet athletic-build has done nothing to improve my dating-prospects. It has however improved self-conceptualization.
I'm glad you said this. Working out is often suggested by some of the guys here as a panacea for datelessness, but women don't care about that. However, if it improves self-confidence, and therefore helps bring guys out of their shell so they feel comfortable talking to women, then it's still a worthwhile suggestion.
Not necessarily so. I realize that the "looks fade" thing is a cliche that seems very popular among some of the men on C-D with respect to women. (Funny how the same men refuse to accept the inevitable as it applies to them.)
There are some on the DC forum here who seem to be under the same mistaken impression. Ah, the truth hurts...
Yes, body size matters!!! I don't think the OP sounds fat at all though. I have a not so funny story that maybe I'll laugh about eventually. If only I'd journaled all my dates since the divorce, I'd have a best seller and really could move to Spain and find the woman of my dreams. But I digress. Last night I had a date with a woman who described herself as "curvy". First off, I broke my #1 rule with online dating, which is no body shot, no date. She had 3 face shots. I asked her about her body and she said curvy. I went one farther and asked what that meant to her. I get a BS answer about women having curves, blah, blah, blah. So fine, met her for dinner. I found out "curvy" is the new word for fat. Or is that BBW? Who knows. Suffice it to say I will not make that mistake again. So that story just illustrates how body size and fitness matters. i'm into fitness, eat healthy, etc., and I refuse to ever date a woman who doesn't make an effort in those areas.
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