Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, body size matters!!! I don't think the OP sounds fat at all though. I have a not so funny story that maybe I'll laugh about eventually. If only I'd journaled all my dates since the divorce, I'd have a best seller and really could move to Spain and find the woman of my dreams. But I digress. Last night I had a date with a woman who described herself as "curvy". First off, I broke my #1 rule with online dating, which is no body shot, no date. She had 3 face shots. I asked her about her body and she said curvy. I went one farther and asked what that meant to her. I get a BS answer about women having curves, blah, blah, blah. So fine, met her for dinner. I found out "curvy" is the new word for fat. Or is that BBW? Who knows. Suffice it to say I will not make that mistake again. So that story just illustrates how body size and fitness matters. i'm into fitness, eat healthy, etc., and I refuse to ever date a woman who doesn't make an effort in those areas.
You make it sound like the end of the world because you had dinner with a bigger gal... seriously? Are you permanently scarred because of the experience?
Jesus Christ, some of you people need to get over yourselves...
The woman I'm currently dating is in her early 40s, 5'7" tall, and would probably be described by most people as overweight. I've never speculated as to how much she weighs, but I've had a number of people say she probably weighs more than I do. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. The best part is that I really don't care. I've been having such a good time with her that I find myself not worrying about her weight. One of the things I find so attractive about her is her confidence. She's aware of her appearance and is working on trying to change it, but I never get the sense she's insecure about it.
Hear, Hear!
And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about (the bolded part). So many people are hung up on looks, weight, some other physical feature that they don't get to experience the real person. Find two extremely attractive people married, are they truly happy? Do they truly love each other? Or are they getting so much side a$$ that it dont matter...
Quote:
I've known guys who would date overweight women but be embarrassed about it. They wouldn't introduce the person to their friends or they'd try to encourage the woman to lose weight. I feel good that I'm neither embarrassed nor trying to get the person I'm dating to change.
Those guys are the truly insecure ones...
Quote:
She wants to slim down and I'm certainly supportive of whatever she wants to do. But I'm not pressuring her to lose weight. I'm sure there are people who'll say I'm settling. But as I've gotten older, I've learned to care less about what others think and more about what I feel. And right now, I feel great. I met someone I like, she likes me, and we have fun together. She's currently on medication that makes it hard to lose weight. So if she's not able to lose anything, that's still fine by me. I did have one person say something rather cruel. They implied this woman would lose interest in me if she did lose weight. In other words, an overweight woman has to "settle", but once she slims down, she can raise her standards. So to the OP, I'm proof that there are men out there who won't hold your weight against you. What's important to remember is the impression you convey. Do you come across as insecure and embarrassed of your weight? Lack of self-confidence is a huge turn off. This woman I'm dating now is so confident, yet humble that she makes younger and thinner women look downright invisible.
I am in the exact same boat as you right now, except the woman is a couple years younger than me and has a kid. And while she is bigger, she does not weigh MORE than me. But it's close.
You make it sound like the end of the world because you had dinner with a bigger gal... seriously? Are you permanently scarred because of the experience?
Jesus Christ, some of you people need to get over yourselves...
I think it has more to do with her saying she's curvy when she's fatty.
So many people are hung up on looks, weight, some other physical feature that they don't get to experience the real person.
I'm not saying that looks don't matter to me. This woman I'm seeing is gorgeous and that's certainly part of the attraction. But what's truly wonderful is that when I look at her, my thoughts don't turn to her weight. I don't look at her and wish she were thinner. Why? Because I'm just having too much fun to really about such things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeSmith357
I am in the exact same boat as you right now, except the woman is a couple years younger than me and has a kid. And while she is bigger, she does not weigh MORE than me. But it's close.
I have no idea how much the woman I'm seeing weighs. And obviously I would never ask. But the best part is that I don't care. I know most women would refuse to date a man who's shorter because it would make them feel self-conscious. But I don't have those feelings with her. When we're out in public, I don't feel like people are staring at us because I'm smaller. They can stare all they want and make whatever comments they want. I don't care. I'm proud to be seen with her.
I have no idea how much the woman I'm seeing weighs. And obviously I would never ask. But the best part is that I don't care.
The only reason I know is because we are both working out and doing a diet together, and weigh each morning. When I first saw how much she weighed, it kind of surprised me, because she carries it so well...
But that's not the point, I love her for who she is
The only reason I know is because we are both working out and doing a diet together, and weigh each morning. When I first saw how much she weighed, it kind of surprised me, because she carries it so well...
But that's not the point, I love her for who she is
The woman I'm seeing has also embarked on a weight loss challenge. I'm being very supportive of her, though I'm being careful not to suggest that I'm unhappy with her current appearance. I too am trying to slim down. I'm not overweight, but I did gain a little extra over the holidays. I haven't mentioned this to her. If she knows that I think I need to lose weight, she may think I feel the same way about her, which I don't. But you're right about how some people carry extra weight well. She has an hourglass figure that I just love. Fortunately, she likes her curves and isn't aiming to look like some super lean athlete.
You make it sound like the end of the world because you had dinner with a bigger gal... seriously? Are you permanently scarred because of the experience?
Jesus Christ, some of you people need to get over yourselves...
While what ATLguy wrote would not have been my choice of words, the fact remains that people are attracted to who they are attracted to plain and simple. You can't change that. There is a thread running here about women not being attracted to men who are weaker than they are. Similar concept. Life isn't always fair. However, if you aren't getting the results you desire you always have the ability to change what you're doing.
Size matters? No BS. Size is the main reason why I can get a date to save my life.
One thing I've noticed (and I'm not suggesting this is the case with you) is that people who are overweight will often use their weight as an excuse to explain why they don't get asked out. Yes, there are men who won't ask a woman out if she's overweight. But in a lot of cases, they wouldn't ask her out even if she was thin. I've known people like this, male and female, who broadcast their insecurities about their weight, height, you name it. And what they don't realize is that it's their insecurity that's turning people off, not their appearance.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
