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Why is it when asking someone, who is interested in dating, about their relationship status, lots of people say... its complicated
BTW: I am not talking about FB status or dating sites status, but face to face conversation with someone trying to date you.
There is nothing complicated IMHO. The simple basic is: married or single. The more elaborate, but still very clear are: separated, divorced, widowed, living with SO (civil union, in a committed relationship), or living in an open relationship, where you AND your SO have agreed to sleep with other people. It's really that simple.
Most of us think that people on dating scene, are free to date. That means they are not married, living with SO, or engaged with someone else. Pretty clear so far.
So, when the "it's complicated" comes from?
For me it means: red flag. It means that you're either in a relationship all by yourself in which your SO doesn't acknowledge you, or that you're involved with someone but are open to cheat.
To me to say "it’s complicated" as for relationship status is the most offensive thing you can do to your SO.
For them it means: something's going on, but I don't want to say what it is, because it's for my benefit.
Or it means: I am not serious about you, but I don't mind to have a little fling on the site.
I am not sincere, I am not free, but I am bored, or unhappy (or whatever) and I want to cheat.
What are your thoughts about the "it's complicated" statement?
For me it means: red flag. It means that you're either in a relationship all by yourself in which your SO doesn't acknowledge you, or that you're involved with someone but are open to cheat.
What are your thoughts about the "it's complicated" statement?
This is what I think as well. Complicated is bad, messy.
I've been away from the dating scene for a while now but from memory, as well as still having a lot of single friends, combined with witnessing what people put on social media, my best guess is "it's complicated" is a mild form of self aggrandizement. People want to be unique, special, different from the others. They want what they've experienced or are currently experiencing to be more unique than everyone else, when in fact their experiences tend to be pretty common to many.
Hope I haven't stepped on too many toes with that answer.
IMO, people who say their relationship is 'complicated" are separated, or on a break. I feel that when they categorize themselves in that way, it says something about what position they are taking. If you are separated, and have hopes of getting back with your partner....or if you are on a break, and hope they come back....I believe that's when they say it's complicated. If you are in a break/separation, and it's just the step before the ultimate split, I believe that you say single/separated/divorced.
Complicated isn't in a relationship, but hopes to repair/salvage it.
Some people just aren't that comfortable revealing the details of their relationship(s) to someone they don't know all that well.
Yes, that is what I'd probably think if I hear the phrase.
Hopefully the person asking the question will get the hint and back off a bit. In more ways than one.
Definite red flag IMO.
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