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Is this really a common thing? I've heard of this but since I'm white I don't really know what it's about. In what ways do they express they think they're better?
No, it is not a common thing, I am not going to tell you that some light-skinned guys have a superiority complex, but it is certainly not a common thing.
Is this really a common thing? I've heard of this but since I'm white I don't really know what it's about. In what ways do they express they think they're better?
No, it's just from my experiences. Some black people, light or dark skinned, do feel better than the rest of us because they feel better than us for whatever stank, stupid reason.
But there are some light skinned people I have encountered who are very, very lovely people. One was even my best friend I just had more bad experiences than good, unfortunately.
I think the key is here that you aren't trying to change your mind about an issue or feature or trying to get over it. It just suddenly doesn't matter at all because you're so sprung overall or by their other qualities. You definitely shouldn't put a ton of time into something you aren't feelin'. But maybe a couple dates, not enough to feel like you really wasted your time. I guess it's a balance between time wasting and giving someone a chance, I think it's possible to navigate that without it being a huge loss.
Oh I know. The point is seeing if the personality is good enough so that you either accept, or may even come to like the physical. But sometimes, that doesn't work. The personality may be good, but even that isn't really setting the fire to make you romantically or sexually interested.
I could agree with 1 or 2 dates. But some actually need more time, and that's what will lead to time wasted. But I can agree the few dates ma be the least to do. I think there was a saying to look and get a feel of something before shooting it down. Least with a few dates, you could do that.
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Originally Posted by CrushandnotbeCrushed
No, it's just from my experiences. Some black people, light or dark skinned, do feel better than the rest of us because they feel better than us for whatever stank, stupid reason.
But there are some light skinned people I have encountered who are very, very lovely people. One was even my best friend I just had more bad experiences than good, unfortunately.
It can be reversed as well. Lol I am black, but have albinism. So my skin has no color. And some black guys would make a joke I am not really black, look like Michael Jackson, or am only "half-baked."
So people are just hateful. It's fine to have a preference. Maybe one just isn't attracted to really light, or really dark by their standards. That's fine, but being hateful and snotty and looking down on it is another matter.
It can be reversed as well. Lol I am black, but have albinism. So my skin has no color. And some black guys would make a joke I am not really black, look like Michael Jackson, or am only "half-done."
So people are just hateful.
Yep, yep, I've seen that too! Who knew that our own kind could be so spiteful against their own kind? I was picked on and talked about behind my back because I mainly hung around white people. Oh well! There are enough of us decent folks out here, though
Anyways, dating, changing, preference...uh, oh yea, almost any guy in a suit I almost drool over. Mmmm....
Oh I know. The point is seeing if the personality is good enough so that you either accept, or may even come to like the physical. But sometimes, that doesn't work. The personality may be good, but even that isn't really setting the fire to make you romantically or sexually interested.
I could agree with 1 or 2 dates. But some actually need more time, and that's what will lead to time wasted. But I can agree the few dates ma be the least to do. I think there was a saying to look and get a feel of something before shooting it down. Least with a few dates, you could do that.
It can be reversed as well. Lol I am black, but have albinism. So my skin has no color. And some black guys would make a joke I am not really black, look like Michael Jackson, or am only "half-baked."
So people are just hateful. It's fine to have a preference. Maybe one just isn't attracted to really light, or really dark by their standards. That's fine, but being hateful and snotty and looking down on it is another matter.
Is that where your name comes from? I You probably have very weird experiences with people because of that. I bet you're really uniquely beautiful. Interesting.
Is that where your name comes from? I You probably have very weird experiences with people because of that. I bet you're really uniquely beautiful. Interesting.
Yep, that's where the name comes from lol
If I was beautiful I would be more popular with men. So I wouldn't go that far. Unique, sure lol
But I have to be careful, because as I have seen, I can attract 2-faced people. My ex friend was white, and she outright told me her family was racist and didn't trust black people, but I was one of the few they could accept because I "didn't look black." How flattering. Then some of her comments also rubbed me wrong. So I dropped that friendship. No hard feelings toward her. Just not going to be hanging out with her any longer. Then some places I go where people are prone to staring. Like an old guy at the doctor's office I went to who got up and changed seats, to sit across from me, and stare the entire time. So, it comes with issues.
But I have to be careful, because as I have seen, I can attract 2-faced people. My ex friend was white, and she outright told me her family was racist and didn't trust black people, but I was one of the few they could accept because I "didn't look black." How flattering.
Yeah lol So needless to say I don't speak to her anymore. A bit too ignorant for me. Been a year since I last talked to or saw her. No hate toward her. Just done with her.
Because for example say you don't like fat women, and one shows interest. You could get to know her and become crazy about her. But there's a chance you won't, then it ends up with someone being strung along and both people's time being wasted because one knew at the start they weren't attracted, and were chancing "maybe they'll grow on me." So sometimes when you try for it, dating becomes a chore rather than something to look forward to. So that's why people just stick to what they like, rather than playing chance with someone where the physical attraction isn't already there. And that can be good and bad, depending. If one wants to date with expectations.
It's easy if people hang out as friends, or casually with no dating or intents of romance/sex. Because things build naturally, rather than someone trying for it. So it can be a good reason keep many friends around. Get to know people and hang out, have fun, etc. A friendship is built, and sometimes you find love or good relationships in friends. So that's a problem sometimes is going with expectations being really high. Instead of thinking about just meeting nice new people, one is focused on meeting a serious romantic/sexual partner. Just getting to know people, as people, rather than potential lovers, probably makes things less stressful and it opens many more doors.
One of the frustrating things about the earlier thread I started was that people were interpreting my argument to mean that a person's looks can grow on you, that if you just spend more time with them, you'll start to find them more attractive. But that's not what I was saying at all. I don't believe you can force yourself to become attracted to someone nor do I think an attraction develops just because you're spending a lot of time with someone. There are friends who I've known for years that I've never been attracted to. What I do think happens is precisely what you described. You start off as friends with someone and one day you start to feel an attraction that wasn't there initially. You weren't hoping or expecting it. It just happened. It doesn't happen with all your friends. In fact, I would say it's pretty rare. But when it does happen, what a pleasant surprise that can be, to discover that there's a person you'd like who's been right there in front of you this whole time.
Someone else pointed out an interesting pattern which I think I noticed already, which is that women are more likely to experience (or at least admit to experiencing) this phenomenon than men. And I think that's because us men want to feel more certain of ourselves. If someone comes to me and says I might change my mind about dating a woman who smokes or a devout Christian, my knee-jerk reaction will be to say "never in a million years." I think the very idea that you could change your mind scares people, men in particular. Cause then they start to think "what else will I change my mind about?" I don't think women worry about this as much. They don't worry that someday they might change their mind about guys who are short or overweight or don't have high paying jobs. And when you do meet that person who causes you to reexamine your requirements, it can be scary to discover what you're attracted to. But it can also be very liberating. Suddenly you discover a whole new world that you had previously excluded.
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I just had more bad experiences than good, unfortunately.
I You probably have very weird experiences with people because of that. I bet you're really uniquely beautiful. Interesting. 
So I wouldn't go that far. Unique, sure lol
