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Dude...you're not strictly heterosexual; you are bisexual, and are currently living a hetero lifestyle but have returned to being b-curious. And, hey, that's cool.
It sounds to me like you just want to get it on with your friend. Again, that's cool. Does your wife know about your past experimenting with your buddy? If not, how do you think she would take it if you told her? And also told her you still have feelings for him? Because, in all fairness, it sounds like you do. Even if yo say he was the one to come up with the idea of a menage a trois.
Contrary to most guys' fantasies (LOL) most married women are not "down" with this sort of thing. Chances are good your wife will put the kibosh on the idea. Also, the vast majority of three-ways lead to trouble down the road; I've seen it too many times. Everyone claims they are gonna be OK with it...until of course the day comes when they aren't. And that day always seems to come.
So what to do? I can only tell you what I would do if I were you and had the feelings I think you do. I would just leave wifey out of it and have a tryst with my buddy once in awhile. Is this cheating on your wife? Hmm..maybe. Sorta, I guess. But although some will accuse me of advocating dishonesty and cheating here, I am truly of the school of thought in this matter that says what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
But dude, keep it on the down low. Be discreet. Get it out of your system and move on and be good to your wife.
Dude...you're not strictly heterosexual; you are bisexual, and are currently living a hetero lifestyle but have returned to being b-curious. And, hey, that's cool.
It sounds to me like you just want to get it on with your friend. Again, that's cool. Does your wife know about your past experimenting with your buddy? If not, how do you think she would take it if you told her? And also told her you still have feelings for him? Because, in all fairness, it sounds like you do. Even if yo say he was the one to come up with the idea of a menage a trois.
Contrary to most guys' fantasies (LOL) most married women are not "down" with this sort of thing. Chances are good your wife will put the kibosh on the idea. Also, the vast majority of three-ways lead to trouble down the road; I've seen it too many times. Everyone claims they are gonna be OK with it...until of course the day comes when they aren't. And that day always seems to come.
So what to do? I can only tell you what I would do if I were you and had the feelings I think you do. I would just leave wifey out of it and have a tryst with my buddy once in awhile. Is this cheating on your wife? Hmm..maybe. Sorta, I guess. But although some will accuse me of advocating dishonesty and cheating here, I am truly of the school of thought in this matter that says what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
But dude, keep it on the down low. Be discreet. Get it out of your system and move on and be good to your wife.
She is not my wife yet. There's a diamond on her finger but we want a big wedding so we decided buying a home first is more important, once that happens we are gonna get married.
I'm kind of not getting you? I keep reiterating that I have no desire to penetrate/be penetrated by him, or give/recieve a bj from him. If I did, I would. And actually, she is kind of down. I didn't bring him up because if will be a dramatic brouhaha (on his part) but she was like YES when I mentioned it...we are kind of freaky like that. Have no idea if it's gonna happen because it's one thing if a person that I know from birth that isn't dirty or gross is sleeping with her, it's another thing for some random too. That might bug me from an "ew gross I don't wanna get crabs" kind of standpoint.
She knows about what me and him did a decade and a half ago, she is not really fazed by it. Like I said we are a pretty *open* kind of couple and if I wanted to sleep with someone, male, female or somewhere in that space in between than I pretty much have her blessing as long as its wrapped up and there isn't any kissing. Same for her, she hooked up with a girl when I was in Michigan for 2 weeks last summer and she is free to do it again provided she is safe (because frankly, me and her aren't and haven't been for like 4 years).
My main concern was that he wasn't actually into it, and was gonna pull some awkward crap while I was naked with a hard on. This is why if hasn't happened.
I appreciate your candor..you're telling me to be a down low brotha?
She is not my wife yet. There's a diamond on her finger but we want a big wedding so we decided buying a home first is more important, once that happens we are gonna get married.
I'm kind of not getting you? I keep reiterating that I have no desire to penetrate/be penetrated by him, or give/recieve a bj from him. If I did, I would. And actually, she is kind of down. I didn't bring him up because if will be a dramatic brouhaha (on his part) but she was like YES when I mentioned it...we are kind of freaky like that. Have no idea if it's gonna happen because it's one thing if a person that I know from birth that isn't dirty or gross is sleeping with her, it's another thing for some random too. That might bug me from an "ew gross I don't wanna get crabs" kind of standpoint.
She knows about what me and him did a decade and a half ago, she is not really fazed by it. Like I said we are a pretty *open* kind of couple and if I wanted to sleep with someone, male, female or somewhere in that space in between than I pretty much have her blessing as long as its wrapped up and there isn't any kissing. Same for her, she hooked up with a girl when I was in Michigan for 2 weeks last summer and she is free to do it again provided she is safe (because frankly, me and her aren't and haven't been for like 4 years).
My main concern was that he wasn't actually into it, and was gonna pull some awkward crap while I was naked with a hard on. This is why if hasn't happened.
I appreciate your candor..you're telling me to be a down low brotha?
Open huh......your fiance screwing other people doesn't bother you one tiny bit? People truly never cease to amaze me. Please do not have children.... Please just do society that one favor.
Open huh......your fiance screwing other people doesn't bother you one tiny bit? People truly never cease to amaze me. Please do not have children.... Please just do society that one favor.
We want to have tons of children. If everyone with charachter flaws stopped reproducing we would be in Japan's situation (shrinking population with 40% of people over 65 by 2030)
No it doesn't bother me, love doesn't equal sex, it's just having fun, like a massage. Will probably stop being so wild after we start popping them out, at least we will hold off until they're in sleep away camp for a couple weeks.
We want to have tons of children. If everyone with charachter flaws stopped reproducing we would be in Japan's situation (shrinking population with 40% of people over 65 by 2030)
No it doesn't bother me, love doesn't equal sex, it's just having fun, like a massage. Will probably stop being so wild after we start popping them out, at least we will hold off until they're in sleep away camp for a couple weeks.
It's great to see you're both self aware enough to know that strict monogamy doesn't work for you. (and also aware that bringing the BF into the loop isn't a good idea)
Lots of people commit to traditional monogamy that really shouldn't, and well, the result end up in someone playing detective, the other living a second life and compromising their integrity, where they could have just been upfront and found someone else who was on the same page.
Same for her, she hooked up with a girl when I was in Michigan for 2 weeks last summer and she is free to do it again provided she is safe (because frankly, me and her aren't and haven't been for like 4 years).
What exactly does "safe" mean in the context of two women getting it on? And what do you mean by you and your lady not being safe for four years? I have to say I only read pages one and two and the current page and skipped the 10 or 12 pages inbetween. No matter... I've seen enough. My BS detector is so far in the red zone reading your posts I think I've broken it. You either have a borderline personality disorder or you are having us on in the worst way.
What exactly does "safe" mean in the context of two women getting it on? And what do you mean by you and your lady not being safe for four years? I have to say I only read pages one and two and the current page and skipped the 10 or 12 pages inbetween. No matter... I've seen enough. My BS detector is so far in the red zone reading your posts I think I've broken it. You either have a borderline personality disorder or you are having us on in the worst way.
What?
Safe means safe sex, honestly I think 2 girls is safe by default. If she slept with a guy she should use condoms.
By us not being safe it means we do not use condoms. She is on birth control. That is why it is important that if and when we bring others into "the inner circle" it's wrapped up that way I don't wind up with AIDS. That's why I was saying that he (my best friend) is the best choice because I know he doesn't have the love pox.
Safe means safe sex, honestly I think 2 girls is safe by default. If she slept with a guy she should use condoms.
By us not being safe it means we do not use condoms. She is on birth control. That is why it is important that if and when we bring others into "the inner circle" it's wrapped up that way I don't wind up with AIDS. That's why I was saying that he (my best friend) is the best choice because I know he doesn't have the love pox.
Yes, I suspected 'safe' referred to AIDS and that two women didn't pose much of a risk in that respect... so why mention it. There is no way that this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clampdown69
She knows about what me and him did a decade and a half ago, she is not really fazed by it. Like I said we are a pretty *open* kind of couple and if I wanted to sleep with someone, male, female or somewhere in that space in between than I pretty much have her blessing as long as its wrapped up and there isn't any kissing. Same for her, she hooked up with a girl when I was in Michigan for 2 weeks last summer and she is free to do it again provided she is safe (because frankly, me and her aren't and haven't been for like 4 years).
refers to her being free to sleep with other guys on her own... but now that we are clear on that... no penetration, no bj wanted from another guy...what's left? Why sleep with another guy? On your own I mean... in a threesome I get that many guys don't want or need sexual contact with the other guy, that is technically an MFM threeway btw. No kissing? Honestly, the stupid rules people make up to try and pretend that they aren't doing anything destructive to their relationships or marriages by swinging. Why bother?! If you have to put stupid rules that don't have anything to do with common sense health precautions, why bother?! You two aren't open at all, edgy, but hardly open. And... an earlier poster noted your self-centeredness... being only concerned about your risk of contracting AIDS... hmmmm... and I really don't see why that makes your best friend anymore qualified than some stranger off the Internet whose AIDS status has been verified. In fact, you would be more likely to give your friend a pass on proving he was STD free and possibly be wrong... ... a stranger you would more likely insist prove they were disease free and thus end up being actually safer... ... just saying.
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