How many dates do you wait for the hanky panky (movies, lesbian)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
See the problem you guys are having is that you are debating how many times you should meet someone who is a stranger before you have sex with them. I don't like that idea. I would prefer to get to know them as friends, and become close friends, and then have sex with my close friend. And if we continue to do it then we're in a long term relationship.
That way you never have this stuff about "have I gone on enough dates to have sex with this person?". You should already know them if you are spending time for romantic purposes! They shouldn't' be a stranger!I don't see how it can be meaningful if you're sleeping with someone you just met three dates ago and have no platonic history with them at all.
Well that's fine for you. How's it working out? If everyone did what you propose there would be a ton of 30-40 yo virgins. There aren't.
Some of us date cute people. We hang out, get along, we have drive, we're attracted to each other, and we have sex. It works pretty damn well. Most people want to have sex with people they are attracted to because they have a healthy sex drive.
And, note to you, it can be pretty darn meaningful even if you don't know them well. And sex w/o "meaning" can be a really awesome time as well, and it is good sex, and you're a match, it brings you closer together.
The last person I dated for about 8 mos and I had sex before our first date. I met her that night. It still had "meaning" and we had a great time. That was independent of our actually dating afterwards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
I think sex should be an expression of love and intimacy between two or more people who love each other and care about other, and I don't see how that is established after having met someone a couple times with no contact in between.
You're really into "should be" statements. Unless you've tried all approaches, it is hard to say what "should be" for you (and it will only be for you).
For me the best sex is with someone I'm sexually compatible with, and we care about each other. Hands down. That doesn't mean sex with someone I'm sexually compatible with and don't know can't be a damn good time. It certainly can. Sex is freaking fun.
I think sex should be an expression of love and intimacy between two or more people who love each other and care about other, and I don't see how that is established after having met someone a couple times with no contact in between.
I know that to explain who I am and what my history is and how I feel about things and how I experience life would take a lot more than 2 or 3 dates.
Yeah, ok....two really horny people could care less about that.
IMO, there should be some physical contact by the 3rd or so date, to make sure the sparks are there. After that, it's really up to the people involved. I think it's not always about the destination and enjoying the journey is part of the fun. Sex will still be there, no need to rush.
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