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I am 46, middle class...as are most of my friends...we all work, have wives and kids, go camping together, barbq's, birthdays, vacations...girls do book clubs and crafting, guys go to microbrews or sport events...whatever...we all go to church, I volunteer at my church
Ive talked in length with JUST the guys, and as couples, about this stuff...usually at a campfire over many drinks LOL...and I think the ordinary average guy thinks this way...maybe guys in the bible belt or guys who are afraid of sex or have low libidos might argue...
that's not to say most men lie and cheat...many would just dump the prude, or NOT commit and tell them they are seeing others...that is what I did...I NEVER committed to a girl (agreed to be monogamous, or be "boyfriend and girlfriend") if we weren't sleeping together...just because SHE wanted to be celibate didn't mean I did...but I never lied or deceived or cheated...
I think we are talking about different things. I think many men are capable of dating someone they are very interested in and waiting a couple months without having to run out to someone else to have sex. I think most times when a guy waits awhile to have sex with a woman - they are in a relationship. I can't imagine dating a woman for months and months with out having sex if you aren't in a relationship. And if you know that a woman thinks you are only dating her but you are really having sex with other people - well, that's not on the up and up to me.
I think we are talking about different things. I think many men are capable of dating someone they are very interested in and waiting a couple months without having to run out to someone else to have sex. I think most times when a guy waits awhile to have sex with a woman - they are in a relationship. I can't imagine dating a woman for months and months with out having sex if you aren't in a relationship. And if you know that a woman thinks you are only dating her but you are really having sex with other people - well, that's not on the up and up to me.
Bang on, DD! Ya nailed it.
I can't speak for anyone else on this thread, but when I say that I prefer to wait a little while before having sex, I'm talking a month or two (perhaps) of regular dating, during which time it becomes clear to both of us that we're really into each other, enjoy each other's company, and respect each other. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think that's too long IF both people are interested in more than sex, and IF they're adults who take other factors, such as their health, into consideration.
OP, your attitude utterly oozes, drips, OVERFLOWS with passive-aggression. With a capital P and a capital A. Dewdroplet sees exactly what I see.
Yeah, all this, "I'm a such good guy. Yes, you women who choose wait to have sex (because you think you're just so sh** hot), go ahead. I respect that, and I'll patiently wait (but you had better know that I'm gettin' plenty of action on the side, because I'm a man, and men have sexual appetites that must be met, and I've got plenty of hot women who'd love to do the deed with me while you sit and wait because you're think you're too good to have sex right away, and you're an idiot if you think I'm gonna wait, too). But yes, PLEASE, wait. It's your right. I think people should have sex when they're ready and I respect that! Oh, I'm such an honorable guy! I don't lie or deceive or cheat..."
What you illustrate is a man who values and respects little, but himself, of course. Clearly. It's obvious from every single one of your recent posts. Like this one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
I don't shove...more like gentle prodding...
And we all pay for it, its called dating...
Its not a rule, I didn't hand my 1rst date an itinerary listing my 3rd date expectations LOL...mostly it was just an indicator...that by the third date if it wasn't happening than it WASNT happening...I was in friend zone...ive read that women decide within 5 minutes of meeting a dude whether or not shes having sex with him (generally speaking of course)...by the 3rd date, shes typically had 6 hours extra time to decide the specifics LOL and any extra waiting is just games on her part...OR...she decided he aint getting none but she likes the free steaks, drinks, activities etc
And this one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
I totally agree...I do not expect any woman to have sex until she is ready...totally sincere here lucky for me when I was single there were PLENTY of women wanting and willing to have sex at the drop of a hat...they weren't diseased, or nasty, or less attractive...their heads were in a different place as far as ex was concerned...so while I patiently waited for the one girl to proceed slowly, I had plenty of quick proceeders on the side so I never had to go without sex...
women who want to wait are not villains, but women who DONT want to wait aren't all sluts either...there are tons of good "marrying types" who not only LOVE sex, but don't see it as a tool or a gift to bestow on some lucky schmo
so don't feel like you HAVE to do anything...you don't...no one should ever be forced into sex until they are ready...and there are PLENTY of women ready and able out there so take your time!!!
And this one (you're nothing, if not consistent, OP):
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
I am 46, middle class...as are most of my friends...we all work, have wives and kids, go camping together, barbq's, birthdays, vacations...girls do book clubs and crafting, guys go to microbrews or sport events...whatever...we all go to church, I volunteer at my church
Ive talked in length with JUST the guys, and as couples, about this stuff...usually at a campfire over many drinks LOL...and I think the ordinary average guy thinks this way...maybe guys in the bible belt or guys who are afraid of sex or have low libidos might argue...
that's not to say most men lie and cheat...many would just dump the prude, or NOT commit and tell them they are seeing others...that is what I did...I NEVER committed to a girl (agreed to be monogamous, or be "boyfriend and girlfriend") if we weren't sleeping together...just because SHE wanted to be celibate didn't mean I did...but I never lied or deceived or cheated...
Mod cut.
And you're a father. Hmm. Well, more proof, of course, of your "honor" and "integrity." Tell you what, fellow parent: you tell YOUR daughter (s) everything you've outline in your posts here. You teach her that, at the very least, she should be willing - and happy! - to suck her dates' co**s, if they've been nice enough to spend some money on her. After all, she doesn't want to be a prude, does she?
I, on the other hand, will teach MY 17-year-old daughter by example. I will teach her to respect herself and her body and her desires. I will continue to teach her, as I always have, that she should have sex ONLY when she feels comfortable, respected and ready enough to do so. Period. And I'll teach her to stay away from young guys like how I'm guessing you're raising your sons to be.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-10-2015 at 01:09 PM..
Reason: Off-topic religion bashing.
Good luck with that thinking and come out of the 50's.
This idea that a man is sleeping with someone else is funny. My boyfriend wants to wait for sex and it's not because he's getting it somewhere else. In fact he considers it something special.
You can view it that way. But to me it looks like he has no interest in sex / is not capable due to heavy alcohol use. I hope your not surprised after the wedding.
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You can view it that way. But to me it looks like he has no interest in sex / is not capable due to heavy alcohol use. I hope your not surprised after the wedding.
Oh he does, especially now that he's been sober many months.
I can't speak for anyone else on this thread, but when I say that I prefer to wait a little while before having sex, I'm talking a month or two (perhaps) of regular dating, during which time it becomes clear to both of us that we're really into each other, enjoy each other's company, and respect each other. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think that's too long IF both people are interested in more than sex, and IF they're adults who take other factors, such as their health, into consideration.
OP, your attitude utterly oozes, drips, OVERFLOWS with passive-aggression. With a capital P and a capital A. Dewdroplet sees exactly what I see.
Yeah, all this, "I'm a such good guy. Yes, you women who choose wait to have sex (because you think you're just so sh** hot), go ahead. I respect that, and I'll patiently wait (but you had better know that I'm gettin' plenty of action on the side, because I'm a man, and men have sexual appetites that must be met, and I've got plenty of hot women who'd love to do the deed with me while you sit and wait because you're think you're too good to have sex right away, and you're an idiot if you think I'm gonna wait, too). But yes, PLEASE, wait. It's your right. I think people should have sex when they're ready and I respect that! Oh, I'm such an honorable guy! I don't lie or deceive or cheat..."
What you illustrate is a man who values and respects little, but himself, of course. Clearly. It's obvious from every single one of your recent posts. Like this one:
And this one:
And this one (you're nothing, if not consistent, OP):
Mod cut.
And you're a father. Hmm. Well, more proof, of course, of your "honor" and "integrity." Tell you what, fellow parent: you tell YOUR daughter (s) everything you've outline in your posts here. You teach her that, at the very least, she should be willing - and happy! - to suck her dates' co**s, if they've been nice enough to spend some money on her. After all, she doesn't want to be a prude, does she?
I, on the other hand, will teach MY 17-year-old daughter by example. I will teach her to respect herself and her body and her desires. I will continue to teach her, as I always have, that she should have sex ONLY when she feels comfortable, respected and ready enough to do so. Period. And I'll teach her to stay away from young guys like how I'm guessing you're raising your sons to be.
Mod cut.
well thank you Dr Dixiegirl
Are you by chance single?? lol
If the woman wants to wait it's up to the man to respect that. If he really likes her, he would. Believe it or not there are still some people that wait until marriage to have sex. It's almost amazing how sleeping together extremely quickly is now considered normal in our society. 2, 3, 4, dates...that's still pretty much sleeping with someone you don't really know. You would think with all the complaints about men being cheaters and users and so on, women would be a little less willing to give it up so easy. A guy that is married but looking on the side can hide it a lot longer than a couple dates.
You've got this passive-aggressive thing down, huh? I guess it's a tactic that's worked you. Lol
it doesn't work me...I work it...
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