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If you have a "work wife" that you are always with, eat lunch with, laugh with and talk about everything with and she has a husband
Is this "cheating"?
and if it is why do so many women who got some dude to marry them carry on a seperate relationship with other guys?
just a question...consider it totally hypothetical
I don't think its wrong to have women friends at work, as long as your wife knows and it is on the up and up...as long as her husband also knows....
I don't think that would be in any way considered cheating.
I was never one to socialize that much with my work, but I do see others do it, and see that it is perfectly fine...
I did have a male friend with whom we walked down for coffee in the morning every morning, but only b/c he and I were in early and at the same time....
There's a difference between fantasies and emotional cheating, and some people don't seem to realize that.
For example, a friend of mine found tons of text messages and emails between his wife and another man. They were basically "seeing each other," but had never had sex. That's still cheating. The intent is still there.
Personally I would not accept either instance, and would break up with someone in both cases.
Of course, those as my ex might be one, b/c it didn't seem to bother him...he cheated on his first wife, on me, and he is probably cheating on his 3rd wife.....so yeah, I guess some men are born to be cheaters....
Many people can cheat and not feel bad. As many probably have it worked out in their head that they're justified.
"My partner doesn't always want sex when I want it"
"My partner isn't kinky enough"
etc. That have what they consider an issue with the relationship that hinders them, thus they feel going to someone else is fair game, long as it doesn't come to light with their partner, because then everybody is happy.
Like your ex, a guy I know cheated on his girlfriend of 6 years, and seemed to feel no guilt. He just made sure she didn't find out. She broke up with him a few months ago. The girl he cheated with wants him to be monogamous to her and told him no more sex if he slept with anyone else. But he's revealed he's been sleeping around still and is possibly trying to date another woman he's been hanging out with alot.
Some people just like sleeping around and are not believers in monogamy. And that'd be fine if they just made it know and found partners who were equally non-monogamous.
Many people can cheat and not feel bad. As many probably have it worked out in their head that they're justified.
"My partner doesn't always want sex when I want it"
"My partner isn't kinky enough"
etc. That have what they consider an issue with the relationship that hinders them, thus they feel going to someone else is fair game, long as it doesn't come to light with their partner, because then everybody is happy.
Like your ex, a guy I know cheated on his girlfriend of 6 years, and seemed to feel no guilt. He just made sure she didn't find out. She broke up with him a few months ago. The girl he cheated with wants him to be monogamous to her and told him no more sex if he slept with anyone else. But he's revealed he's been sleeping around still and is possibly trying to date another woman he's been hanging out with alot.
Some people just like sleeping around and are not believers in monogamy. And that'd be fine if they just made it know and found partners who were equally non-monogamous.
Do you think your guy was committed enough to the relationship to get married and have kids though, despite having other sexual partners?
Do you think your guy was committed enough to the relationship to get married and have kids though, despite having other sexual partners?
Well the guy was with his girlfriend for 6 years. Seems once you get into having dated someone that long with no kind of proposal, and aren't living together, he probably wasn't too committed.
But he has some girls he likes enough to hang out with, sleep with and maybe call a girlfriend, but he's not monogamous to her, even if. Then he has other girls he doesn't give a damn about, outside of sex. His sex buddy of 1 year has liked him since before the sex, but he treats her like trash. Recently she called off the sex when she finds he's not exclusive with her sexually, then he told her "If you're gonna be that way, expect the same from me." So with no sex, he doesn't even care about this girl.
I think and this thread supports my idea, that whichever is worse depends on the perception of the beholder, the condition and and type of relationship the couple is in, and how the situation plays out overall.
Having said that, cheating ended my longterm marriage, and my recent dating experience. I was more heartbroken over the sellout of what I thought was mutual trust than over the fact that he was having sex with someone else. But I was thoroughly pissed over receiving an uninvited STD as a result of a relationship that was supposed to be exclusive, as per mutual agreement.
Well the guy was with his girlfriend for 6 years. Seems once you get into having dated someone that long with no kind of proposal, and aren't living together, he probably wasn't too committed.
But he has some girls he likes enough to hang out with, sleep with and maybe call a girlfriend, but he's not monogamous to her, even if. Then he has other girls he doesn't give a damn about, outside of sex. His sex buddy of 1 year has liked him since before the sex, but he treats her like trash. Recently she called off the sex when she finds he's not exclusive with her sexually, then he told her "If you're gonna be that way, expect the same from me." So with no sex, he doesn't even care about this girl.
Ok, so that wasn't really cheating. Cheating is when you do something outside of a committed relationship. If your guy wasn't committed, granted, he should have let his "girlfriend" know that he didn't want a relationship anymore, but he was no longer exclusive.
Its the same as many laws. You can think about and even plan to over throw the US government. But once you do anything furtherance towards doing so or another your a party with in conspiracy; its a violation of law. Much the same thing here as humans see sin or behavior; which ever you see it as.
Ok, so that wasn't really cheating. Cheating is when you do something outside of a committed relationship. If your guy wasn't committed, granted, he should have let his "girlfriend" know that he didn't want a relationship anymore, but he was no longer exclusive.
He was cheating, far as I am concerned. He stated the girl was his girlfriend , and that was wasn't looking for another, but he wanted someone to shag on the side. He outright told his mistress that when he met her. So if his girlfriend didn't know, and he wasn't planning on leaving, he was cheating. He'd probably still be with her if she hadn't dumped him. Now that he's single, he's sleeping around, and thus not cheating, because none of these new women are his girlfriend. Just casual sex.
I am not a believer of "Single until married/living together." If you have a romantic partner, and they expects monogamy, but you go behind their back to sleep around, and want to keep it hidden, it's still cheating. You're in the relationship but you are hiding and sneaking outside of it.
So a case of he wanted his girlfriend. But wasn't going to not be with other women for her. And apparently, he didn't tell her that and didn't plan to since he tried his damnest to keep his mistress hidden. So he dated her, for six years then slept around in secrecy. So I doubt he planned to marry her, but some just don't care for marriage for whatever reason. He may not have wanted kids. Some don't. I, for example, don't like kids, so I want none.
So he was as serious with his ex girlfriend by his own standards. Their relationship was known, they had pix all over their FB together. She's refereed to by him as his girlfriend. Even telling his mistress she'd have to deal with not seeing him too much because he can't risk his relationship for her. So he was official with her. But cheated on her. Unless your partner knows and the relationship is decidedly open, then one party is cheating.
Really important if people had these talks early on about what they expect and want in a relationship.
Last edited by HappyRain; 03-10-2015 at 03:51 PM..
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