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There's no need to settle for an overweight middle-aged divorcee with 2 kids, anyway. (Unless she has an awesome personality, and is a high achiever, herself, or very bright. In which case, it wouldn't be "settling". But your exec wouldn't feel that way, probably.) Where do these guys live? If they're in the mid-west, they chose their career location poorly.
Women who are high-powered execs should be able to find men close enough to their career level. The thing is, if you have a high level of education, you need a partner you can have a conversation with. Hopefully more than one conversation. You need someone who can discuss what you're interested in on an intelligent level. (I've never understood how high-powered guys can go for bimbos, but I guess conversation isn't on their minds. ) On the other hand, some of those women professional--blue collar guy marriages do work out.
So, I dunno. Some of these people need to pay professional matchmakers, or get into those exclusive online dating sites. And they need to be willing to relocate if they want to find what they want.
To address your OP concern, though--notice I didn't frame any of this in terms of "entitlement". For most people, it's just looking for someone you share enough common ground with to be able to make a go of a marriage. That's different than approaching it as "entitlement". Most people are looking at the whole person, not just the career status and physical appearance.
Many intelligent people lack college degrees; and many college graduates are of average intelligence. A person can have a specialized skill-set or can have extensive knowledge in a particular subject, but that doesn't mean that that person is some high-level genius.
Many non-college graduates can intelligently discuss a variety of topics. Education can be attained in a variety of ways.
People are entitled to pursue whomever they desire, setting their own guidelines. It's their prerogative. If a person worked hard, sacrificed themselves in the process, and earned high achievement, I don't see anything wrong with them preferring someone of the same ilk. Such is life.
You misunderstood my post. It's not about wanting someone who's similar. The guy who went to Harvard and is now a CEO making $1 million a year may not want someone who's educated and wealthy. But he may feel that his success and hard work entitles him to a higher quality woman. It comes back to this idea that the dating world is somehow fair, that the high school dropout doesn't deserve the supermodel. Rather, the rich guy who worked hard should be with her instead. Why? Because in his mind, he worked harder than the high school dropout and therefore deserves better and that it's the other guy who should have to "settle".
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Originally Posted by timberline742
In other words they think they are "better" people than the dude with an average job and average income.
Note to these people: You're not better.
It isn't so much that they think they're better. I think a lot of these guys buy into this notion that everyone gets what they deserve. That the person who studied and worked hard should be rewarded and that the guy who ditched school and works in some dead end job shouldn't be "rewarded" with the hot supermodel wife.
Many intelligent people lack college degrees; and many college graduates are of average intelligence. A person can have a specialized skill-set or can have extensive knowledge in a particular subject, but that doesn't mean that that person is some high-level genius.
Many non-college graduates can intelligently discuss a variety of topics. Education can be attained in a variety of ways.
So true^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
I get what you are saying. And I tend to think the same way. I often get amazed at what I perceive to be egotistical behavior on the parts of both males/females. I think humans often times overestimate their importance in the world, and often act as if the world revolves around them. And when it comes to dating and finding a mate, spouse and/ or lover, humans egotistical qualities often get laid bare; something about the dating market seems to compel people to grandstand and peacock, and to act as if they are entitled to the best, shiniest model on the showroom floor ( so to speak).
AnthonyJ34that is a very good and true point. However, that's also a sign of the times and culture we live in, (not saying its always good though),. Thanks to youtube, facebook, twitter, and instagram people can make themselves out to be a hell of a lot more important than what they really are. You can also acquire fame and notoriety through merely going on social media, (the Obama girl), without actually having any talent or skills. Think back to the election of '08. Obama won the presidency, in large part, because he came off like a rock star. We are a star driven society. We don't buy LA Laker shirts, we buy Kobe Bryant jerseys, Tom Brady jerseys, download Katy Perry songs. Stars, stars, stars. This has transcended to the dating world. So now many think they are 100 times bigger and better than what they really are
You misunderstood my post. It's not about wanting someone who's similar. The guy who went to Harvard and is now a CEO making $1 million a year may not want someone who's educated and wealthy. But he may feel that his success and hard work entitles him to a higher quality woman. It comes back to this idea that the dating world is somehow fair, that the high school dropout doesn't deserve the supermodel. Rather, the rich guy who worked hard should be with her instead. Why? Because in his mind, he worked harder than the high school dropout and therefore deserves better and that it's the other guy who should have to "settle".
It isn't so much that they think they're better. I think a lot of these guys buy into this notion that everyone gets what they deserve. That the person who studied and worked hard should be rewarded and that the guy who ditched school and works in some dead end job shouldn't be "rewarded" with the hot supermodel wife.
I think the word "entitled" gets overused, and that's partly due to it being poorly defined, or with no uniformly agreed upon definition. Like a lot of words.
I think your CEO will ultimately do OK with women. But I agree, he obviously thinks his effort trumps social dynamics. His expressing frustration isn't necessarily about entitlement, though. Could just be the way he vents. I mean, I've gone through some tough times and gotten a bit Job like in wondering if maybe being a decent person should amount to more than it often does. I get the folly of that, but I also know I was frustrated and a bit confused, as opposed to entitled.
I tend to use the word more in the sense of a million a year guy who was handed his job by papa and who can't relate to people who work for a living. Or a person with great metabolism genes who eats crap, exercises twice per month and still looks great, and yet snickers at overweight people.
In other words it's about being a poor winner as often as a poor loser.
It isn't so much that they think they're better. I think a lot of these guys buy into this notion that everyone gets what they deserve. That the person who studied and worked hard should be rewarded and that the guy who ditched school and works in some dead end job shouldn't be "rewarded" with the hot supermodel wife.
Yes, some people believe that they can earn, or deserve, or are entitled to, another human being. You don't win people as a prize for your efforts.
I think the word "entitled" gets overused, and that's partly due to it being poorly defined, or with no uniformly agreed upon definition. Like a lot of words.
I think your CEO will ultimately do OK with women. But I agree, he obviously thinks his effort trumps social dynamics. His expressing frustration isn't necessarily about entitlement, though. Could just be the way he vents. I mean, I've gone through some tough times and gotten a bit Job like in wondering if maybe being a decent person should amount to more than it often does. I get the folly of that, but I also know I was frustrated and a bit confused, as opposed to entitled.
I tend to use the word more in the sense of a million a year guy who was handed his job by papa and who can't relate to people who work for a living. Or a person with great metabolism genes who eats crap, exercises twice per month and still looks great, and yet snickers at overweight people.
In other words it's about being a poor winner as often as a poor loser.
Entitled - believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
Someone who was given a job by his rich daddy isn't entitled. He's privileged. Someone who can eat junk food and never get fat isn't entitled. He's just lucky. Now, if either of these people think they deserve special treatment, THEN they can be described as entitled.
The CEO I described is expressing frustration, but he's also comparing himself to others. In his mind he's asking "how come that mechanic who never finished high school has a hot wife but me, the guy who went to Harvard and now runs a major business, is still single?" Implicit in that question is the idea that he's more deserving of the hot wife than the mechanic. When I was in high school, I remember listening to some kids who got bullied cause they were nerdy, lousy at sports, etc. These kids would talk about how, someday, they'd be rich and successful and come back to the high school reunion with a hot wife who'd make everyone jealous. But these kids weren't dating the hot girls then. Apparently, they thought becoming rich and successful would be the key to attracting women. And in a lot of cases, it can be. But I think that's what drives the frustration these people feel. It isn't simply that some other guy has a hot wife and you don't. It's that the guy who has the hot wife is "lower on the food chain". In a way, it's a replay of high school. The nice guy wonders why the hot girl prefers the jock who treats her badly instead of him. After all, he's nice to her. Shouldn't he be the one she prefers? Again, it comes back to this idea of thinking you get what you deserve.
men who decide to get sucked into the marriage vortex should always marry UP
so, women it's best for you to not look for someone you perceive as "equal" or on par with you but rather someone that you actually love and enjoy being with...he will become better if you are what you think you are
Entitled - believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
Someone who was given a job by his rich daddy isn't entitled. He's privileged. Someone who can eat junk food and never get fat isn't entitled. He's just lucky. Now, if either of these people think they deserve special treatment, THEN they can be described as entitled.
The CEO I described is expressing frustration, but he's also comparing himself to others. In his mind he's asking "how come that mechanic who never finished high school has a hot wife but me, the guy who went to Harvard and now runs a major business, is still single?" Implicit in that question is the idea that he's more deserving of the hot wife than the mechanic. When I was in high school, I remember listening to some kids who got bullied cause they were nerdy, lousy at sports, etc. These kids would talk about how, someday, they'd be rich and successful and come back to the high school reunion with a hot wife who'd make everyone jealous. But these kids weren't dating the hot girls then. Apparently, they thought becoming rich and successful would be the key to attracting women. And in a lot of cases, it can be. But I think that's what drives the frustration these people feel. It isn't simply that some other guy has a hot wife and you don't. It's that the guy who has the hot wife is "lower on the food chain". In a way, it's a replay of high school. The nice guy wonders why the hot girl prefers the jock who treats her badly instead of him. After all, he's nice to her. Shouldn't he be the one she prefers? Again, it comes back to this idea of thinking you get what you deserve.
Well, entitled actually means to in fact deserve something, or to be owed something. I know it connotes something reprehensible as you've used it, and your definition is good enough. So, some privileges are earned, and some aren't. I am not saying that a "hot" woman is the reward for hard work, and I think that's a crappy view on life and women and love, but our culture pretty much screams this at people. This site is full of advice, from women as often as men, that young men who seem together and who say they have solid careers need only wait and women will find them. Poor boy makes good and gets the girl is still a primary tenet of the American Mythos.
So when your guy makes good and doesn't get the girl, his sense of betrayal can be personally foolish but still pretty well understood in our culture. If he goes on and on about it, he's acting entitled, as I said could be the case in my first post.
Also, if you're going to parse this out, the further you flesh out your guy the more it sounds like he's suffering envy as much as anything. He wants what the jock, mechanic, or accountant has, devises a culturally approved plan to get it, and still flops. Anyway.
At least as you discuss it here, you see entitlement as being envy driven. Lots of people do. I tend to use other words like longing or resentment when envy appears to be the driving force behind someone's behavior. I usually reserve the word for people who are being smug or arrogant about something they possess or wish to possess. My examples are privileged as you say, but they're both decks about their privilege, which to me makes them entitled. I can work with someone who wants something he or she can't have, but I've no use for someone who has something, especially by mere good fortune, and craps on people who lack their good fortune. Because they're acting entitled to privilege they didn't even lift a finger to acquire.
Well, entitled actually means to in fact deserve something, or to be owed something. I know it connotes something reprehensible as you've used it, and your definition is good enough. So, some privileges are earned, and some aren't. I am not saying that a "hot" woman is the reward for hard work, and I think that's a crappy view on life and women and love, but our culture pretty much screams this at people. This site is full of advice, from women as often as men, that young men who seem together and who say they have solid careers need only wait and women will find them. Poor boy makes good and gets the girl is still a primary tenet of the American Mythos.
So when your guy makes good and doesn't get the girl, his sense of betrayal can be personally foolish but still pretty well understood in our culture. If he goes on and on about it, he's acting entitled, as I said could be the case in my first post.
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I don't think the OP is talking about poor boys, necessarily. But "gets the girl" in the American Mythos was about getting the sweet girl, not getting the hottie. The OP is talking about a completely different thing. He's talking about guys who define "getting the girl" in very material and superficial terms. That's very different from the traditional American image. It's about the reward for hard work and career advancement being a Barbie Doll, vs. the sailor going to college on the GI Bill, marrying the sweet, devoted girl next door to where he grew up, then buying a bungalow in Levittown, which is closer to the "boy makes good and gets the girl" image you cite.
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) On the other hand, some of those women professional--blue collar guy marriages do work out. 
