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Ruth provided some great advice. Live with him for a year and then see how you feel. Don't get blinded by baby fever.
Also, if you're concerned about your fertility, why not consult with a specialist? I may be wrong, but I think there are tests to evaluate your egg reserve/quality. If the results are concerning you can freeze your eggs now and use them later. It might be a good idea to do it anyway if you want more than one child, since you maybe be in your 40s by then.
Instead of asking strangers on a message board, why not make an appointment with your gynecologist?
While it's true that, on average, fertility decreases after 35, everyone's body is different. It's not like your reproductive organs decide to quit once you blow out your birthday candles. Plenty of women conceive after 35 without difficulty.
Go see a doctor and ask him or her to look at your egg quality, FSH levels, etc. Talk about your concerns about having children. It's better to know what you'll be dealing with sooner rather than later.
Instead of asking strangers on a message board, why not make an appointment with your gynecologist?
While it's true that, on average, fertility decreases after 35, everyone's body is different. It's not like your reproductive organs decide to quit once you blow out your birthday candles. Plenty of women conceive after 35 without difficulty.
Go see a doctor and ask him or her to look at your egg quality, FSH levels, etc. Talk about your concerns about having children. It's better to know what you'll be dealing with sooner rather than later.
^All that. And Op let me add that you are only 33 so fertility shouldn't be a concern right now. But, if you decide to have one later there are a variety of options available to you if you have difficulty such as IVF, clomid,etc. You're too young for this to be bothering you now though.
So, i ve been in a relationship with a man i adore for the last 10 months. We are in love,we will be movingin together the second part of this year. He is 29, i just turned 33. We ve talked kids: we both want them, we even picked names. The thing is that he wants to finish his phd before kids, thats in around 2-3 years, so ill be 35 ish, afraid it might be hard to start trying at that age.
Dont like to start trying now, or even this year, but will like to start trying next year maybe.
Should i tell him this? Should i pressure him with this topic or should i just let it flow and be happy knowing be are both commited and want a family together?
Everything in our relationship is perfect, but he wants to wait 2 to 3 years to start trying and ill like to wait 1 to 2 years. Should i be mentioning this to him now or just wait a while?
why don't you revist the topic after you have live together for about a year. that experience will give both of you some clarity.
I think it's a good thing he doesn't want to have kids right away. You've only known him 10 months. Wait until you've lived with him for a year, to get to know him even more intimately. If things continue to go smoothly, then you can think about having kids. And for most women, getting pregnant in the mid- to late-30's is all too effortless. I wouldn't worry if I were you.
Whatever you do, don't start trying to have a child unless he is in complete agreement, and at the risk of sounding hopelessly old-fashioned, until you are legally married.
Trying to have a child with a man without his knowledge is not only dishonest, but unethical, imo, and as he might become VERY angry if you succeed, and you might very well risk ruining your relationship with him -- and then where would you and your future child be?
Whatever you do, don't start trying to have a child unless he is in complete agreement, and at the risk of sounding hopelessly old-fashioned, until you are legally married.
Trying to have a child with a man without his knowledge is not only dishonest, but unethical, imo, and as he might become VERY angry if you succeed, and you might very well risk ruining your relationship with him -- and then where would you and your future child be?
What? you are way off here, i never even insinuated to try getting pregnant and not telling him, lol, that stuff only happens in cheesy soup operas
and the marriage thing is so outdated, its still supposedly a thing in your culture, but not in mine, thanks
What? you are way off here, i never even insinuated to try getting pregnant and not telling him, lol, that stuff only happens in cheesy soup operas
and the marriage thing is so outdated, its still supposedly a thing in your culture, but not in mine, thanks
Sorry, I misunderstood you! When you wrote, "Dont like to start trying now, or even this year, but will like to start trying next year maybe. Should i tell him this?", I thought you meant, should you tell him that you were trying! -- not that you meant, "Should I tell him that I want to try next year?" Again, please accept my apology!
And as far as marriage is concerned, I understand that children born outside of marriage is getting more and more common every year in the U.S., too, but it is my opinion that children born to a union that requires a more than just, "Sorry, but this isn't working out, so I'm leaving" to break it up is better for them. Again, that is my opinion, and -- OF COURSE -- you are certainly entitled to disagree!
Sorry, I misunderstood you! When you wrote, "Dont like to start trying now, or even this year, but will like to start trying next year maybe. Should i tell him this?", I thought you meant, should you tell him that you were trying! -- not that you meant, "Should I tell him that I want to try next year?" Again, please accept my apology!
And as far as marriage is concerned, I understand that children born outside of marriage is getting more and more common every year in the U.S., too, but it is my opinion that children born to a union that requires a more than just, "Sorry, but this isn't working out, so I'm leaving" to break it up is better for them. Again, that is my opinion, and -- OF COURSE -- you are certainly entitled to disagree!
OP is not in the USA though.
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