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If you are living together and "marriage doesn't happen in your culture" then for all practical purposes living together is marriage. People have been getting pregnant forever, it doesn't always happen when you think or hope it will. While I'm not telling you to do something you know he doesn't want to do, I'm saying he shouldn't be living with you if he isn't willing to accept a pregnancy right away either. If you both agree on that I don't see much of a problem here.
^All that. And Op let me add that you are only 33 so fertility shouldn't be a concern right now. But, if you decide to have one later there are a variety of options available to you if you have difficulty such as IVF, clomid,etc. You're too young for this to be bothering you now though.
No, OP is right to have some concern. Fertility treatments are neither cheap nor foolproof. Heck, a friend of mine was 28 when she first got pregnant and miscarried. She is in top physical condition--slim, trim runner type. If she had trouble, let's not pretend that just any women can cruise through with IVF and whatnot. Oh, donor eggs? Well, OP best have well over $10,000 for each attempt and a willing donor.
Anyway, OP, what don't you know about your significant other after nearly a year that is going to be a dealbreaker? Just my hunch, but shouldn't all the pressing relationship issues already be addressed? If so, I'll be waiting for your babydaddy to pass out cigars in nine months.
No, OP is right to have some concern. Fertility treatments are neither cheap nor foolproof. Heck, a friend of mine was 28 when she first got pregnant and miscarried. She is in top physical condition--slim, trim runner type. If she had trouble, let's not pretend that just any women can cruise through with IVF and whatnot. Oh, donor eggs? Well, OP best have well over $10,000 for each attempt and a willing donor.
Anyway, OP, what don't you know about your significant other after nearly a year that is going to be a dealbreaker? Just my hunch, but shouldn't all the pressing relationship issues already be addressed? If so, I'll be waiting for your babydaddy to pass out cigars in nine months.
If.the Op, is between 30 and 35 years old then she has about a 70% chance of conceiving naturally within a year and an 87.5% chance of conceiving between 1 and 4 years, naturally with no drugs. Just taking drugs such as clomid, which isn't expensive, can raise those odds by 30%, according to research. Add the average success rate of clomid 30% to the 87.5% chance of a 33 year old conceiving within 1-4 years naturally, and this puts her at a very high chance of conceiving (90%), and all she did was pop some inexpensive pills to increase her cycle. That is why I stand by my statement of the Op having little to worry about, because at her age the numbers are completely on her side. Sure, a friend of yours can have issues at 28, but those issues could happen at any age. Don't base your argument in outliers Alfred, look at the law of averages for what will most likely occur:
At age 30
75% will have a conception ending in a live birth within one year 91% will have a conception ending in a live birth within four years
At age 35
66% will have a conception ending in a live birth within one year 84% will have a conception ending in a live birth within four years
Close[10] [1][2] Leridon, H. (2004). "Can assisted reproduction technology compensate for the natural decline in fertility with age? A model assessment". Human Reproduction 19 (7): 1548–1553. doi:10.1093/humrep/deh304. PMID 15205397. edit
If.the Op, is between 30 and 35 years old then she has about a 70% chance of conceiving naturally within a year and an 87.5% chance of conceiving between 1 and 4 years, naturally with no drugs. Just taking drugs such as clomid, which isn't expensive, can raise those odds by 30%, according to research. Add the average success rate of clomid 30% to the 87.5% chance of a 33 year old conceiving within 1-4 years naturally, and this puts her at a very high chance of conceiving (90%), and all she did was pop some inexpensive pills to increase her cycle. That is why I stand by my statement of the Op having little to worry about, because at her age the numbers are completely on her side. Sure, a friend of yours can have issues at 28, but those issues could happen at any age. Don't base your argument in outliers Alfred, look at the law of averages for what will most likely occur:
At age 30
75% will have a conception ending in a live birth within one year 91% will have a conception ending in a live birth within four years
At age 35
66% will have a conception ending in a live birth within one year 84% will have a conception ending in a live birth within four years
Close[10] [1][2] Leridon, H. (2004). "Can assisted reproduction technology compensate for the natural decline in fertility with age? A model assessment". Human Reproduction 19 (7): 1548–1553. doi:10.1093/humrep/deh304. PMID 15205397. edit
Ms. OP, you not alone. I'm 30 and my husband is 29, and no baby yet.
I got married 3 months ago, and my husband have a baby fever.
And I'm like 22 days late, uh... but I take my BCP on time everyday and since I'm a newlywed, I think my body just trying to get used to the BCP
I don't think my chance of pregnant is that high because people say at the age of 30, it unlikely to get pregnant.
We been through alot of hardship to be together. From my abusive Chinese mother disapproval of him because of his skin color, to our huge cultural difference.
I want to have at least one year couple time with him before we bring a baby to this world. I told my husband we going to TTC in 2016 when we buy our house.
My husband is happy that I'm late, lol
He be THRILLED if I'm pregnant. He already kiss my stomach. He told me take the pregnancy test and when I’m pregnant, he will kiss my stomach EVERYDAY for 9 Months until the baby born.
I can already tell our future baby will be spoil, not even born yet and already have daddy kisses everyday.
I don't think I'm pregnant, I don't 'feel' pregnant. I think it just my body trying to get used to the BCP
The way he is I can tell that he will spoil his kids rotten. And I'm the one strict to the kids.
And we probably will have cultural clashes on how we going to raise our future kids.
Ms. OP, if you and your BF going to make it formal soon and are financially stable, then I don't see the point of waiting for 3 years?
Does your BF want a baby now? If your BF want a baby, then go head try for it. I wish you good luck!
Ms. OP, you not alone. I'm 30 and my husband is 29, and no baby yet.
I got married 3 months ago, and my husband have a baby fever.
And I'm like 22 days late, uh... but I take my BCP on time everyday and since I'm a newlywed, I think my body just trying to get used to the BCP
I don't think my chance of pregnant is that high because people say at the age of 30, it unlikely to get pregnant.
I'd be taking a test if I were you and were 22 days late. They're cheap and simple.
Being 30 doesn't make it unlikely for you to get pregnant. At all. I got pregnant at 37, planned pregnancy, with no difficulty whatsoever. If you are, in fact, pregnant, you really shouldn't be continuing to take BCP, and should be doing prenatal care.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 04-22-2015 at 05:09 PM..
I'd be taking a test if I were you and were 22 days late. They're cheap and simple.
Being 30 doesn't make it unlikely for you to get pregnant. At all. I got pregnant at 37, planned pregnancy, with no difficulty whatsoever.
May I ask, a regular pregnancy test from the store should work accurate right? No need the pregnancy test from the doctor office? Does a blood test need to confirm pregnancy?
I should have some pregnancy test in my house, just in case.
My husband have baby fever, but I don't think we ready for baby. Right now he is working 2 jobs so we can have enough money to buy a house in 2016, we said we TTC in 2016
And he is only 29 year olds, isn't that kindda young to be a father?
I keep telling him, his Chinese wife is 30 year olds so it won't be easy for her to get pregnant.
He said Nahh, he extremely confident that I can get pregnant at the age 30, lol
Anyways, back to topic. I hope OP come back to update her situation. I saw she post this same thread in the "Pregnancy" forum section. Seem like Ms. OP have baby fever
Ms. OP, you not alone. I'm 30 and my husband is 29, and no baby yet.
I got married 3 months ago, and my husband have a baby fever.
And I'm like 22 days late, uh... but I take my BCP on time everyday and since I'm a newlywed, I think my body just trying to get used to the BCP
I don't think my chance of pregnant is that high because people say at the age of 30, it unlikely to get pregnant.
We been through alot of hardship to be together. From my abusive Chinese mother disapproval of him because of his skin color, to our huge cultural difference.
I want to have at least one year couple time with him before we bring a baby to this world. I told my husband we going to TTC in 2016 when we buy our house.
My husband is happy that I'm late, lol
He be THRILLED if I'm pregnant. He already kiss my stomach. He told me take the pregnancy test and when I’m pregnant, he will kiss my stomach EVERYDAY for 9 Months until the baby born.
I can already tell our future baby will be spoil, not even born yet and already have daddy kisses everyday.
I don't think I'm pregnant, I don't 'feel' pregnant. I think it just my body trying to get used to the BCP
The way he is I can tell that he will spoil his kids rotten. And I'm the one strict to the kids.
And we probably will have cultural clashes on how we going to raise our future kids.
Ms. OP, if you and your BF going to make it formal soon and are financially stable, then I don't see the point of waiting for 3 years?
Does your BF want a baby now? If your BF want a baby, then go head try for it. I wish you good luck!
The most typical factor that could make it more difficult to conceive at age 30 (that's young btw) is PCOS. But even with this condition, if you are still ttc, you have a high chance of conception within 1-4 years. Don't fret just continue with the ttc, my adorable little baby girl is a testament to this. Lots of Baby Dust to you and your hubby
Last edited by TenorSax83; 04-22-2015 at 05:26 PM..
May I ask, a regular pregnancy test from the store should work accurate right? No need the pregnancy test from the doctor office? Does a blood test need to confirm pregnancy?
Drug store tests are very reliable, and are now sensitive enough to use quite early on, depending on the brand. Blood test will confirm, but the levels of hormones present in a.m. urine are typically sufficient to tell you. False negatives can occur if it is very early on and the test is not a particularly sensitive "early alert" one. False positives are extremely rare. If it reads negative, you may still be pregnant and should test again later. If it reads positive, it's almost definitely positive.
Quote:
My husband have baby fever, but I don't think we ready for baby. Right now he is working 2 jobs so we can have enough money to buy a house in 2016, we said we TTC in 2016
And he is only 29 year olds, isn't that kindda young to be a father?
Not if he's ready. I would recommend being financially ready, though, in addition to simply emotionally ready. If having a house is a priority, and that's not happening, you might not be ready. If him working multiple jobs will hinder his ability to be around, you might not be ready.
Quote:
I keep telling him, his Chinese wife is 30 year olds so it won't be easy for
her to get pregnant.
He said Nahh, he very confident that I can get pregnant at the age 30,
lol
Why do you think this?
Fertility is not necessarily tied to age. I have known women (my sister-in-law, for one), who required fertility treatments to conceive in her twenties. If you have an optimally functioning endocrine system, no hormonal issues, no physical issues that complicate conceiving, thirty is not particularly "old" in the world of conception, at all. You are not even considered medically to be of "advanced maternal age" until you are post-35. Unless you have preexisting relevant health issues, have been plagued by miscarriages, or have already attempted to conceive and have had no luck over a period of active trying, there's no real reason to think that conceiving at 30 is a difficult thing, to be honest.
I don't care for a house, the house was never a priority to me. I'm fine with living in this cheap rent neighborhood area with him. But he wants to buy a house, because he doesn't think it a good idea to raise a newborn baby in this type of environment.
He thinking far into the future. I guess as a married man, he want his wife and kids to live in a better neighborhood.
I do want him around with the baby, because right now he working 12-14 hours everyday. When we dating, he work 1 job. Now married he working 2 jobs.
I think it best to wait till 2016, when we have our house and he be working less hours.
Sorry, I didn't meant to be off topic, this is not my thread. I apologize, I stop here.
Ms. TabulaRasa, I do have a question to ask you about pregnancy at my age 30, but can you go to my thread and help me answer there. Thank you
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