Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I encountered this so many times when I did Match. I would meet someone and we would hit it off for about a month, but as soon as things started to progress towards the next level they would back off afraid. It's frustrating. But could easily happen with someone I met in real life as well I suppose.
Most of the time they probably back off, because it's not with the person they envisioned themselves with. I've done it before myself. It's not even about looking for perfection either. I've went out with women where we clicked well, but I just didn't feel the romantic chemistry with them. That's what usually happens most with me from online dating. We would make pretty good friends, but when you're dating, not many people want or need the slew of opposite sex friendships. Even more so, when they all came from online dating.
As a single guy in his mid 20's I never had problems meeting girls, girls where always abundant in college.
However once you leave college welcome to the real world. ....
you beat me to it, welcome to the real world. I think it reasonable to conclude from your college dating experience that you went to a typical college (not an engineering or military college), where women out number men 3 to 2, and the women tend to date only other college students. LOL that you thought this abundance would last. Now you are competing for women in an environment where there are more men than wonen in your age range, and older men are also pursuing the same women you are. It isnt Tinder or social media, this the way it has been for the past 35 years, it is just easier to quantify now.
I'm just amazed that the OP didn't already know Tinder was a "hook up" app. Isn't that common knowledge? If you're going to start yet another "online dating is awful" thread, start with Match, OKCupid, or eHarmony.
Tinder is only a hookup app if you choose to use it that way. It was not unreasonable for the OP to expect to find women on Tinder who weren't looking for hookups.
I don't see how it's any different than meeting somebody while you're out and striking up a conversation that leads to dating and then a relationship. You see the person, then you talk, then you date. People that you meet in real life don't have long, boring profiles attached to them.
A two-dimensional, often posed photograph vs. a three-dimensional person you can observe? They're not even close.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,020,723 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
A two-dimensional, often posed photograph vs. a three-dimensional person you can observe? They're not even close.
Yeah, I'm with you JJ. A picture compared to how a person holds themselves, walks, moves... you can't get a feel for their energy, or really, much feel for their appeal from a photo. Not at all the same.
A two-dimensional, often posed photograph vs. a three-dimensional person you can observe? They're not even close.
I can tell from a photo whether I'd be interested in having a conversation with someone. Based on the conversation, I can decide whether I'd want to meet them. Based on the meeting, I can decide whether there's romantic potential. I don't need to read a dating profile to determine any of this.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,020,723 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I can tell from a photo whether I'd be interested in having a conversation with someone.
That's unusual, I think. I would never have written the last person I dated based on just her photos, they don't represent her well. I may have on her profile, but it was too scant.
When I saw her in person she showed much better and had an energy and facial/body dynamics that were very attractive, and we spoke.
Pictures aren't very telling, in general. That is why so many people complain about them.
Honestly for guys your age, especially if you're attractive just try to meet women in person. Tinder and most OLD sites have way more men than women and lots of desperate guys. The ladies have way more options than the guys.
I agree. If you're an attractive, socially competent guy, don't do online dating. Just go to bars and spend more time doing things during the day that attract women.
And OP I would agree with you about how things change after college. During college, especially if you were in a fraternity, you could walk into a basement and there would be 50 insanely attractive women boozed up and easy to talk to and get with. After college, things change. Also, if you're looking for a "very attractive" woman as opposed to just a "cute" girl, it will be more difficult, because they are not as concentrated in one place anymore. And by 30, most of the good ones are off the market (although they might come back on the market after a breakup or divorce).
I don't see how it's any different than meeting somebody while you're out and striking up a conversation that leads to dating and then a relationship. You see the person, then you talk, then you date. People that you meet in real life don't have long, boring profiles attached to them.
This. Some people just don't understand that, especially in a large city like Houston, there is no way you are going to come across mates you would be interested in at whatever level. Apps like Tinder help with that.
I'm really getting tired of people who are Tinder 'experts' and have never used the app calling it nothing more than a hookup site and claiming it's not an effective way to meet someone to engage in anything more than casual sex.
As others have said, Tinder, OKC and the like should probably be used to supplement dating along with the other 'traditional' methods like social scenes, volunteer groups, meetup groups, sports leagues, and whatever else.
Yeah. People use Tinder for hook-ups. No .
Whether it's a cooking class, a volunteer group, a sports league or whatever, people use those activities just as much as OLD to find hookups, FWB and booty calls, too. One of the co-ed sports leagues I used to play in was known for being a giant hookup scene, where a lot of the people in the league were hooking up with each other outside of games. Not just basic hookups, either, I'm talking threesomes and orgies. It's no different than any other method that people use to meet other people - some will use them to find a relationship, or some use it for casual hookups.
One of my female friends is now in a relationship with someone and guess where they met. The "crime" section of Barnes and Noble? No. At a Karaoke bar? Nope. How about on a co-ed softball team? Wrong.
I just wanted to read the story about the guy whose car was keyed.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. 
