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I'm 34 and I've never had a girlfriend. Never had sex as well. It's not that I've ever been shy but I've always felt uncomfortable if a girl started to get too close to me. I've always had a group of friends, went out at night a lot while I was at university, I studied abroad for a year as well and met lots of people, I participated in activities.
I've suffered from anxiety since I was kid and it's under control at the moment. I function as a normal person and I've always managed to challenge my anxiety when it came to school and my job since not working was not an option. However, since dating is optional, even the thought of approaching a woman or getting a kiss from one is enough to send shivers down my spine.
Apart from that, I'm very independent and I don't like to answer to anybody. I enjoy getting out of work at 7 PM, go to have dinner by myself somewhere and get home around midnight without having to explain myself to nobody.
I gave up on the idea of ever having a relationship when I was 22 and I've been happy with my choice. I recognise my limitations, I don't enjoy getting out of my comfort zone so why fight it? I have a good job, my own house and car, a terrific mother and fantastic siblings and nephews. I pay my taxes and I'm a good citizen.
I exercise everyday, I go for a stroll and a bar every weekend and I try to help friends whenever I can.
To be honest it's pretty easy to fulfill my pledge since no woman has ever had an interest in me. I've a few friends who couldn't possibly make it since they always had women throwing themselves at them all the time.
I'm just asking this because I see many people who have similar problems but they insist on trying to get a girlfriend when clearly they don't have the conditions for such thing. Wouldn't it be more useful to accept it and take the most of the rest like I did?
You think it's "more useful" for others to give up on their hopes and dreams? If I had a child with those types of problems, that is not the advise I would give him. I feel that it's better to stretch yourself, aim high and perhaps fail, than to never try at all.
I'm just asking this because I see many people who have similar problems but they insist on trying to get a girlfriend when clearly they don't have the conditions for such thing. Wouldn't it be more useful to accept it and take the most of the rest like I did?
While it is certainly natural to compare yourself to others, it is rarely useful.
Why would I do that since it makes me feel so bad/anxious unless there was an extreme need (it's not that I could simply choose not to have a job, for example)?
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