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For the sanity and safety of your own kids - who SHOULD BE your #1 priority - get out of that relationship. She's not willing to discipline her kids and your kids are suffering. Neither of you are up for marriage again - which is a great idea since she won't abide by your requests....
I am a man. I learned that ladies will use sex until the get the money/financial support they want, even if it's having kids. After their financial security, you can go "f*7^" yourself and if you cheat, it will be far worse...
My best inquiry with my GF was, if she's willing to share half of the expenses with me when we move in. I got an ear-full!!!
Well… That was a quick turnaround… Were we THAT persuasive?
She is a divorcee who moved in with her parents 3 years agodue to lack of income, and still living with them. She is a realtor by trade, however her work is minimal to none, so her income is very little. She also lacks savings and retirement planning. Her child support income is also very low (approx $550/mo) considering her children's activities, school and needs. I am a professional with a good income that can cover all my expenses and also save some.
Both of the children lack respect, manners and discipline, and I've expressed that to my GF, and she ignores me. My children also dislike how their own personal room is invaded by the two of her boys and take what they want, talk back and disrespect the space they're in. When I tried to talk to her children and tell them they will end up with time-outs and re-precautions, their mother jumps to defense they are good and doing nothing wrong. Along with parenting disagreements, we agreed to work together and seek counseling, professional help and advise to address child discipline and process.
Considering time and progress, we're thinking about moving in together and I've introduced the idea of proportionally sharing expenses, based on income for rent and utilities, where she would cover her own personal expenses and I'd cover my own; finding a new place we'd both pick out and consider "our" home - which would be good for her children and my children. She got very offended at the idea of her paying for anything, especially since she is the "woman" and the "man" should provide and pay for everything. Besides, she would do laundry, cook and also raise my children, among other things, she is "intimate" with me, and that carries a lot of value.
Furthermore, now she also demands a diamond ring, so I can show commitment and I "have to" or "must" spend at least 2 to 3 times as much as I've spent on my previous wife's ring. She is also considering marriage a "must" since we have to share financials and make her part of my future savings I've accrewed.
My fear is, this woman is here to take me for a financial ride, stay home and drain me at work, of my finances and cater to "her" and "her children's" needs since she couldn't gain anything from her previous marriage. As it comes to intimacy, she also recently informed me of lack of desire and low libido drive, therefore not to expect much.
Drop that sorry heifer like a hot potato before you get screwed. AND USE PROTECTION FOR GOD'S SAKE! She is probably actively trying to get pregnant so she can get her hooks into you.
I formed an opinion. Validation is helpful. am I that naiive? I'm sure not all women are the same, yet vigilance is important. ahh... life's intricacies...
Some of the good attributes are: always driving over to my place at her own expense
Which she pays how, with no earnings and insufficient child support? You also said she's "very offended at the idea of paying for anything," so how long do you think this will continue?
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cooking, helping with my house chores,
You already said you do all your own cooking and chores, and that this is not necessary.
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offering the "motherly" touch to my boys,
Except for bringing in kids that don't respect your kids or their boundaries and not disciplining them, and refusing to consider that they are doing anything wrong when your children are unhappy.
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loyal, took my boys out to play at the park on some occasions, took all children
to movies and recreation parks (I funded the events), some grocery shopping,
You can pay a babysitter to do this, and the babysitter probably won't bring additional kids who are crappy to yours. Plus, as you said, you "already have arrangements for your kids' activities." You already said she doesn't pay/resents paying for anything, so she's just doing the shopping chore for you with your $$$?
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loving and sexy to me,
You sure? Because this directly contradicts what you said she implied about how you shouldn't expect much of a sexual relationship.
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rushed out to help me when I got sick, just to think a few.
At whose expense?
Lots of inconsistencies.
You say, on one hand, "We're trying to figure out if we can move together and co-habitate since marriage is no longer in scope for either one of us," but later in the same post write that she's clearly angling for marriage, which you've already said is "no longer in scope." So which is it?
You say, "I am a professional with a good income that can cover all my expenses and also save some." But later, you say, "I told her "I'm broke" I don't have any money and I am in a pinch with finances." It's unclear from your writing if you just told her this to gauge her reaction, or what the deal is. And if your relationship with somebody is so contentious that you're fronting that you're broke, that should tell you quite a bit.
You say, "she is "intimate" with me, and that carries a lot of value," but then you also say, "As it comes to intimacy, she also recently informed me of lack of desire and low libido drive, therefore not to expect much." So which is it?
You start a post with "She's wonderful," and then go on to list all the ways she's clearly not, and say, "I am at the point where I believe casually dating other women without any significant commitment would be more cost efficient both financially and emotionally..."
Your post is blatantly (intentionally?) all over the place. What's the agenda, here?
Some of the good attributes are: always driving over to my place at her own expense, cooking, helping with my house chores, offering the "motherly" touch to my boys, loyal, took my boys out to play at the park on some occasions, took all children to movies and recreation parks (I funded the events), some grocery shopping, loving and sexy to me, rushed out to help me when I got sick, just to think a few. Yet I can see it all being a ploy until she gets what she wants, then it's all "you're on your own" attitude. She also really, really, desires to have a child with me. She can't talk about it enough! Kind of lovely and scary at the same time!
I am a man. I learned that ladies will use sex until the get the money/financial support they want, even if it's having kids. After their financial security, you can go "f*7^" yourself and if you cheat, it will be far worse...
Eh, that doesn't fit well with the "she also recently informed me of lack of desire and low libido drive, therefore not to expect much," thing, now, does it? Kind of makes it tough to have a baby with somebody, and also doesn't really match the assertions that it's something you "really, really want."
Interesting mishmash of contradictory "details" we've got going, here, though.
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