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First two girlfriends in high school (white) had racist families. My first relationship ended because her grandma found out about us and threatened to tell her parents if we didn't break up.
The first Middle Eastern woman I dated (sophomore year in college) parents didn't like black people either, so I never went to her house, let alone met them. But now she's in a serious relationship with a white guy, and they of course have no problem with that.
Now in my mid 20's I mostly date Hispanic/Latin women, but so far, that hasn't been as big of an issue, for the most part.
So now before anything gets serious, I ask them how their family would receive me if it got serious. No, I will not seriously date or marry into a family that doesn't like me because of my skin color.
I'm glad my family is progressive enough to not care about skin color.
First two girlfriends in high school (white) had racist families. My first relationship ended because her grandma found out about us and threatened to tell her parents if we didn't break up.
The first Middle Eastern woman I dated (sophomore year in college) parents didn't like black people either, so I never went to her house, let alone met them. But now she's in a serious relationship with a white guy, and they of course have no problem with that.
Now in my mid 20's I mostly date Hispanic/Latin women, but so far, that hasn't been as big of an issue, for the most part.
So now before anything gets serious, I ask them how their family would receive me if it got serious. No, I will not seriously date or marry into a family that doesn't like me because of my skin color.
I'm glad my family is progressive enough to not care about skin color.
I do this with every new woman I meet now. In my 20s I found women to be more understanding and likely willing to be a little more "defiant" towards their parents, because they're still spreading their wings. In their 30s, there's a good chance their parents were there for them during a tough period in their life. The daughters may feel a little more indebted to their parents and take more value in their opinion.
I usually ask before the meetup or during the first meetup if their parents would be okay with their daughter dating a black guy. At this point in life, dating is stressful enough trying to lower each other's walls, so I much prefer going into something with as little red tape as possible.
First two girlfriends in high school (white) had racist families. My first relationship ended because her grandma found out about us and threatened to tell her parents if we didn't break up.
The first Middle Eastern woman I dated (sophomore year in college) parents didn't like black people either, so I never went to her house, let alone met them. But now she's in a serious relationship with a white guy, and they of course have no problem with that.
Now in my mid 20's I mostly date Hispanic/Latin women, but so far, that hasn't been as big of an issue, for the most part.
So now before anything gets serious, I ask them how their family would receive me if it got serious. No, I will not seriously date or marry into a family that doesn't like me because of my skin color.
I'm glad my family is progressive enough to not care about skin color.
I knew people left their families because they wanted to someone who like and they are still together.
Btw, she called me last night crying telling me that her parents were going to throw her out if she didn't break up. I told her to do it and say it so her parents could hear, but she wouldn't. She hasn't picked up the phone since then. I'm really worried about her and I'll be knocking on her door later.
Her dad isn't going to hurt her physically or he would have already.
I cannot say that a man that racist would not harm you, though. Be careful, OP. There are some hateful people in this world and your GF's dad seems to be one of them.
Racism is an ugly thing. I'm white, but I was formerly married to an Asian man. My family quietly accepted this, but my brother made jerk comments about having yellow babies calling him their uncle.
He is crazy about them now. But, I was in my 20s and not living at home when I married my ex.
I dated a black guy when I was still living at home. I knew better than to try to make my family accept him. Some would have. Others never would have. It's sad and it was their loss. He was a really nice guy.
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I do this with every new woman I meet now. In my 20s I found women to be more understanding and likely willing to be a little more "defiant" towards their parents, because they're still spreading their wings. In their 30s, there's a good chance their parents were there for them during a tough period in their life. The daughters may feel a little more indebted to their parents and take more value in their opinion.
I usually ask before the meetup or during the first meetup if their parents would be okay with their daughter dating a black guy. At this point in life, dating is stressful enough trying to lower each other's walls, so I much prefer going into something with as little red tape as possible.
Yeap. I'm not going to waste our time if this is just going to lead to issues eventually over something as trivial as skin color.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sommie789
I knew people left their families because they wanted to someone who like and they are still together.
And that's half the reason why I wouldn't want to date a woman who has a family that prefers her not to date me (doesn't have to be about skin color, either).
Last thing I want is:
1) Uncomfortable environments and fake, insincere interactions towards me; knowing deep down inside they do not "approve" of me
2) Her to have a severed relationship with her family because of me and for them to disown her
Nothing like explaining to your children why we never visit mom's side of the family.
Yeap. I'm not going to waste our time if this is just going to lead to issues eventually over something as trivial as skin color.
And that's half the reason why I wouldn't want to date a woman who has a family that prefers her not to date me (doesn't have to be about skin color, either).
Last thing I want is:
1) Uncomfortable environments and fake, insincere interactions towards me; knowing deep down inside they do not "approve" of me
2) Her to have a severed relationship with her family because of me and for them to disown her
Nothing like explaining to your children why we never visit mom's side of the family.
Who wants to raise children around bigots ?
I would not ask him to leave his family but I am not going to family events when I am not welcome .
Yeap. I'm not going to waste our time if this is just going to lead to issues eventually over something as trivial as skin color.
And that's half the reason why I wouldn't want to date a woman who has a family that prefers her not to date me (doesn't have to be about skin color, either).
Last thing I want is:
1) Uncomfortable environments and fake, insincere interactions towards me; knowing deep down inside they do not "approve" of me 2) Her to have a severed relationship with her family because of me and for them to disown her
Nothing like explaining to your children why we never visit mom's side of the family.
In the end I feel both parties have a sigh of relief. I still think about what I had with some exes who had parents that weren't on board, but I'm glad they ended up with a man that their family would accept. I'm an opinionated person and I can only take so much flack about my ethnicity before I'm going to speak out on it. I don't like the close-mindedness of it at all, even though I know some people just don't want to understand or refuse to understand.
I've heard plenty of stories of racism going both ways, not all black families welcome the white person in to the family either.
In my experience, the racism I have seen has always been white families towards blacks dating their daughters. Never seen them (whites) against their sons dating black women, and I have never seen any black families against their sons or daughters dating whites. Although, black women can sometimes be especially critical when they see a black guy with a non-black woman. But, basically, what I am saying is that I have never seen a black family being racist against who the people in their family date. I just havent seen it in real life.
To the OP (Bowlii is the name I believe) the problem I believe is 75% her dad, and 25% YOU. You should not have ended your relationship because of what someone is is NOT part of that relationship says or does. You walked away instead of confronting it and/or fighting against it to show that it is wrong. Its similar to that Einstein quote you always see on Facebook about good men doing nothing in the face of evil (you know the one).
In my experience, the racism I have seen has always been white families towards blacks dating their daughters. Never seen them (whites) against their sons dating black women, and I have never seen any black families against their sons or daughters dating whites. Although, black women can sometimes be especially critical when they see a black guy with a non-black woman. But, basically, what I am saying is that I have never seen a black family being racist against who the people in their family date. I just havent seen it in real life.
To the OP (Bowlii is the name I believe) the problem I believe is 75% her dad, and 25% YOU. You should not have ended your relationship because of what someone is is NOT part of that relationship says or does. You walked away instead of confronting it and/or fighting against it to show that it is wrong. Its similar to that Einstein quote you always see on Facebook about good men doing nothing in the face of evil (you know the one).
The bold sentence is usually due to jealousy. Statistically, 1/4 black men have been to prison. My Dad went to prison when I was a kid, so I understand the statistic very well. Black women see a good black man with a white woman and it makes them sad, because all they're really left with is the black men in and out of the system. It's a sad cycle.
The bold sentence is usually due to jealousy. Statistically, 1/4 black men have been to prison. My Dad went to prison when I was a kid, so I understand the statistic very well. Black women see a good black man with a white woman and it makes them sad, because all they're really left with is the black men in and out of the system. It's a sad cycle.
Black women are educated double rate than black men . My friends are struggling with dating because they won't any other race.
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