Millions of us have given up on finding love, survey shows (male, sex)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Becoming a parent at 40+ must be weird. When the kid is at the peak of teenage rebellion, the parent is already 55+. I guess I would consider such a parent my grandparent A friend of mine is not even 50 and already multiple grandma
It's funny.
I am 39 and remember exactly how being a naughty 16 year old who thought no one understood felt like. Vividly. In fact, recalling childhood well has made me much more empathetic to my kids. The lack of power. The utter helplessness. Being subject to the whims of these seemingly mercurial creatures. Falling apart for no reason other than hunger. Vividly remember this.
I don't remember anything from childhood except my bright green tricycle with the orange seat, and my drinking father I remotely remember adolescence, but given my father's behavior I felt more like a parent trying to console my mom. So I kind of skipped adolescence and would probably not be of much help if my child needed me in that situation
But bc I hang with and live with a more educated/wealthy populace, the parents are older.
And the marriages happen later (cw higher education).
But at work, where there is more of a mix, you see more of the folks with the kids in their early 20s.
Our kids came when I was 35 and 38.
I live in a very mixed demogrpahic city so if parents are choosing public schools, the differences are very very visible. So yes, educated and more affluent people are getting married and having kids later (and that is the pattern for my friends, though it does feel like here in the Bay Area people are really waiting a while). It could because we have a lot of transplants. It could be because there isn't a church culture. People I know who are involved in church married earlier than the non-regular church goers. It could be the cost of living. I know mny many people in their 30s/40s who have roommates. In fact just about everyone I know now, unless they moved here 5+ years ago, has a roommate that is not a romantic partner. It is too expensive to get a place alone even if you are paid well.
So I think there are many factors. Some of that getting coupled part of adulthood is getting delayed.
Sometimes I still sense the old stone age thinking in some posts, like, if a child does not have my genes, I don't want him or her, who am I to raise another man's children?
That's exactly what I'm saying. Not my kid, I want nothing to do with him or her.
A lot of single moms are doing for themselves without help from you or any other man, no child support, no public assistance, etc. Likely those women wouldn't be attracted to your apparent bitterness.
What you think of me is irrelevant. Go annoy somebody else because you're getting on my nerves.
Becoming a parent at 40+ must be weird. When the kid is at the peak of teenage rebellion, the parent is already 55+. I guess I would consider such a parent my grandparent A friend of mine is not even 50 and already multiple grandma
My mom had grandkids by the time she was fifty. I don't personally want to have anymore kids once I get in my late thirties, early forties, I just can't see it. I admit that this might be because I had my son at 24 and can't imagine trying again 15 years later.
I think late twenties to mid thirties is my ideal age range for having kids, if there was a choice, of course. In the region I'm in most of the parents are in their mid thirties with young little kids-there aren't many young moms at all at least not in the middle to upper middle areas. Seems like 30-35 is the age when woman start to have babies out here. It sort of works out for me since I just turned 28--I don't feel the same pressure or influence to have other children because most my age have not had any yet. But where im from in the Midwest the norm is 25-30 to have kids for educated girls(at least). So, I admit that if two years from now I wasn't in a relationship I would start to envision the possibility of actually looking for a partner-something I've never had to do because I do want more children and if I was able I would like to have another one before 35.
And single moms do NOT want another father for their children, if you think that you've not actually gotten to know very many single mothers. The really responsible ones won't even bring you around their children until they are sure you are a committed, reliable, good person.
Some do, some don't.
I wouldn't mind that poster though, he's entitled to his preferences-your right that a lot of single moms likely wouldn't care about him persay, there are men with his attitude and some single moms might be bothered by it but the single moms I know would not. All of them are in relationships or got married to men that were attractive and good men. I think on city data, perhaps due to experience dealing with other single moms that some men believe we all want the same things or only get desperate "beta" males but in actuality just like with anything some do and some don't. I can only speak for myself I attract a better quality of males than what I did before I had my son because I've evolved as a person.
it isn't difficult to get a man, at all, even as a single mother, but again this is just me speaking on myself and the single moms I know.
So when some men don't prefer me it isn't a huge deal not just because they don't matter(I mean they don't but because there are too many men that I've dated and meet often that don't feel the same) but also because it is difficult dating a parent not to mention they are entitled to their own preferences.
Then again like I said my pov is coming from someone that doesn't desire a man to fulfill anything other than what I would want in a relationship, since my son has a father. I'm sure that poster may have met women that are different.
I don't think people should force themselves to date people that they really don't want just to not be single. From what I get about that poster he's not had as much success with women, but still has standards and things he would not be willing to compromise on and I can respect that!
Last edited by Faith2187; 09-27-2015 at 05:12 PM..
I don't remember anything from childhood except my bright green tricycle with the orange seat, and my drinking father I remotely remember adolescence, but given my father's behavior I felt more like a parent trying to console my mom. So I kind of skipped adolescence and would probably not be of much help if my child needed me in that situation
My wife is the same way and it's probably for a good reason. Actually, sounds like the same reason.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A friend of mine is not even 50 and already multiple grandma 
