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I think that there are hints of truth in this for both sexes here. I think that due to the media and the expectation's/cultural norms of what we consider to be beautiful or attractive are artificially inflated.
With that being said, I still believe that this doesn't apply to everyone. Look at married couples that you know; many of them that you perceive to be average or below average in attraction are happily married. I think that over time and through self reflection many people can realize that there standards are unrealistic and adjust them appropriately.
People with self images that are more positive who tend to rate themselves at a greater level of attractiveness, irregardless of what other people perceive them to be, end up gaining unrealistic standards.
It's not just women; I'm sure that there are many guys who think they are all that and see themselves with someone that is above them so to speak.
In the end beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I believe myself to be above average in terms of attractiveness, but I don't set unrealistic standards for myself either. I am willing to look past minor physical flaws when I see great personality fits.
When I first started dating my ex gf I perceived many other women as more attractive. Sure she was still plenty attractive but I was still enticed by what I couldn't get. After a year or so of dating I considered her to be the most beautiful women I could have ever hoped for, every minor flaw became a special and unique attribute that I cherished. Now that she's gone I suppose I get to do it all over again.
I disagree. Women overrate themselves more than men. Here's one reason why - Women get hit on by men for simply superficial, shallow reasons such as just wanting a one night stand. Some men will really lower their standards just for the hope of getting some sex. However, higher quality men would never give the same woman the time of day. Moral of the story - men do not get approached near as much as women so our ego takes a way bigger hit.
Most men do not get approached at all and many not even flirted with. Just process that and think about it. We HAVE to have high self esteem because we don't get anything to fuel it. Women are also complimented way more often than men.
That is true for some of us.. I have never been approached or flirted with in 35 years..Add that with constant rejection from old or in person and it's impossible to logically have a high self esteem in the dating world.. But Men are expected to be emotionless robots who are never effected by anything or have weaknesses..
But Men are expected to be emotionless robots who are never effected by anything or have weaknesses..
You're right men do have unrealistic standards placed upon them in this respect. The truth is that men do have emotions and weaknesses, probably on the same level as women. We just bottle it up inside and try and ignore it where girls let it out and make it more obvious.
That is true for some of us.. I have never been approached or flirted with in 35 years..Add that with constant rejection from old or in person and it's impossible to logically have a high self esteem in the dating world.. But Men are expected to be emotionless robots who are never effected by anything or have weaknesses..
In the strictest sense, all of us are responsible for what we choose as standards for ourselves. However, none of us is immune to expectations from outside ourselves, and women certainly share what they think a man ought to be, usually subtly or in quiet whispers . We incorporate that without question, or ignore it, each at our peril.
In the strictest sense, all of us are responsible for what we choose as standards for ourselves. However, none of us is immune to expectations from outside ourselves, and women certainly share what they think a man ought to be, usually subtly or in quiet whispers . We incorporate that without question, or ignore it, each at our peril.
So look for women who don't think that way. We are out there.
but there is a double standard out there on this issue. a butt-ugly and fat woman can still always get a guy, since there's a lot of wimps out there who are terrified at living alone. mommy boys, who never really grow up and will marry anything with a vagina, no matter how disgusting. or guys who just become p-whipped after their first sex, and marry that woman if they can as soon as they can. again, no matter how attractiveness- challenged (lol) she is.
different deal with chicks. a fat butt-ugly guy has very few chances at a mate, unless she too is fat and butt-ugly. unless the guy has money, and then attractive, lazy, dim, greedy, gold-diggers chicks will hook up with him. you know: w.h.0.res. LOL
but there is a double standard out there on this issue. a butt-ugly and fat woman can still always get a guy, since there's a lot of wimps out there who are terrified at living alone. mommy boys, who never really grow up and will marry anything with a vagina, no matter how disgusting. or guys who just become p-whipped after their first sex, and marry that woman if they can as soon as they can. again, no matter how attractiveness- challenged (lol) she is.
different deal with chicks. a fat butt-ugly guy has very few chances at a mate, unless she too is fat and butt-ugly. unless the guy has money, and then attractive, lazy, dim, greedy, gold-diggers chicks will hook up with him. you know: w.h.0.res. LOL
Bull****
I see plenty of attractive women with complete slobs every day, and it's NOT because they have money.
You men need to let these lies you tell yourselves go. I have seen FAR more men hung up on looks than women. The difference is, as someone upthread mentioned, that women who are average and below are invisible to you, so they don't count.
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. We incorporate that without question, or ignore it, each at our peril.
