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I've literally laid a sexual proposition in a guy's lap before, more than once, and this was after distinct he would love to screw me communication was established on his part, and been soundly rejected. I have gotten various excuses or reasons why, my husband being one who wanted to wait until marriage, another guy didn't want the pressure of me flying to see him and me expecting him to perform so he chickened out, another guy was in a committed relationship and finally realized our interaction was crossing a line when I wanted to take it all the way.
Women try to pick guys up and be the aggressor all the time but it tends to scare guys off, so what is the point? Men say they'd love a sexually aggressive woman but when it comes right down to it my experience tells me different.
Just waiting on the guys to chime in that I'm not sexy or attractive enough and that's why I've been turned down for sex. Like women need more reasons to hate ourselves.
Not true in my case. Several times over the years, women I barely knew have asked me if I wanted to screw (maybe not using those exact words, however), and for the most part I definitely took them up on it. I thought it was $#$%#@! great, and I wish more women would do this. And, no, they weren't "ladies of the evening", just regular gals. Sexually aggressive women are a HUGE turn-on for me.
The one time I didn't take a woman up on it I had three good reasons why I didn't:
1) She was married; dating married women is a huge hassle from many standpoints.
2) Her husband was quite intimidating.
3) We worked together, and it would have been awkward.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 11-02-2015 at 09:34 PM..
In any event, all women DO get a significant amount of attention, especially online. If a woman truly wants to be in a relationship and is unable to find the man that she desires IRL, she can go online, type in her exact specifications, and out will pop the man of her dreams. I have seen this play out over and over IRL. So it baffles me when people on this forum claim that it is not true because I have never personally observed it to not be true.
I have talked to a lot of women. I've had many female friends over the years and I've both talked to them about this and observed what actually happens IRL.
My opinions are not based off of things that I've read on the internet, but, instead, on what I've observed and experienced IRL.
I'm still calling foul on this one--you are still making assumptions about other peoples' lives and coming up short. I guess I want some specific examples. Also, if what you're saying is true, I must be a real dawg, b/c I have never gotten the kind of attention that you're talking about, and yet using the hated number system, the majority of men that I've dated have averaged around 7-8, which should probably put me in about that range roughly. I've even dated 9's or 10's but not on average. So, you're saying that I get a lot of attention in the dating world, but when I put my POF profile back online I got 2 messages in the first week and both from men in the range of a 2. Why would I lie about this? It's humiliating to even post it on here but I'm doing it for all the other women who are thinking they must be a real dawg when they see guys spouting off that same tired old line about women drowning in offers. Ain't happnin' here, and never did. Last I checked there is a one man for every one woman ratio and both are equally interested in dating and have roughly an equal amount of baggage. Mileage may vary but fairly well balanced.
I did get a date with a great guy yesterday--one that I wrote to first--and he's a 10 in his looks and his life and loads of chemistry on both our sides! So maybe I can soon stop worrying about how many messages I don't get on POF. LOL. And pertinent to this discussion--my date had had two dates the day before with women who were not right for him. Why did he have so many more dates than me if women and not men are getting all the dates? Who are we having them with anyway?
Not true in my case. Several times over the years, women I barely knew have asked me if I wanted to screw (maybe not using those exact words, however), and for the most part I definitely took them up on it. I thought it was $#$%#@! great, and I wish more women would do this. And, no, they weren't "ladies of the evening", just regular gals.
The one time I didn't take a woman up on it I had three good reasons why I didn't:
1) She was married; dating married women is a huge hassle from many standpoints.
2) Her husband was a HUGE guy.
3) We worked together, and it would have been awkward.
I have no doubt at all that you, like many men, would think it's great when an easy lay falls out of nowhere and into your lap.
So where are these undiscerning women now? Are you in a long-term committed relationship with one of them?
Probably because he was a 10, have sauve, sounds like a good job, etc, etc (I assume thats what "10 in his life means"). These are the top 10% that get just as much play as women who are a 7. A woman only has to be a 7 with her life decently put together to be able to get the same amount of attention. If you are a 7 and he picks you, good job your done, your rippie won the loto.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
I'm still calling foul on this one--you are still making assumptions about other peoples' lives and coming up short. I guess I want some specific examples. Also, if what you're saying is true, I must be a real dawg, b/c I have never gotten the kind of attention that you're talking about, and yet using the hated number system, the majority of men that I've dated have averaged around 7-8, which should probably put me in about that range roughly. I've even dated 9's or 10's but not on average. So, you're saying that I get a lot of attention in the dating world, but when I put my POF profile back online I got 2 messages in the first week and both from men in the range of a 2. Why would I lie about this? It's humiliating to even post it on here but I'm doing it for all the other women who are thinking they must be a real dawg when they see guys spouting off that same tired old line about women drowning in offers. Ain't happnin' here, and never did. Last I checked there is a one man for every one woman ratio and both are equally interested in dating and have roughly an equal amount of baggage. Mileage may vary but fairly well balanced.
I did get a date with a great guy yesterday--one that I wrote to first--and he's a 10 in his looks and his life and loads of chemistry on both our sides! So maybe I can soon stop worrying about how many messages I don't get on POF. LOL. And pertinent to this discussion--my date had had two dates the day before with women who were not right for him. Why did he have so many more dates than me if women and not men are getting all the dates? Who are we having them with anyway?
Probably because he was a 10, have sauve, sounds like a good job, etc, etc (I assume thats what "10 in his life means"). These are the top 10% that get just as much play as women who are a 7. A woman only has to be a 7 with her life decently put together to be able to get the same amount of attention. If you are a 7 and he picks you, good job your done, your rippie won the loto.
Wow, that post was pure ugly.
Maybe at my phase of life, a 10 means something different, like how youthful we are for our age. He has a decent job but nothing near 6-figures--something closer to what my ex also makes so we're in my comfort zone. But yes, he looks pretty good when I'm used to getting maybe 1 to 2 messages a week, tops, from guys who don't even have benefits at their job. So, maybe a 10 for me is someone who's a good fit and maybe I'm a 10 for him. He certainly seemed to think that. What you guys fail to notice though is that most couples are fairly well matched--you don't see a lot of 10 men matched with 6-7 women. Also, as people age, someone who was a 7 all their lives may bump up to a 9-10 just by virtue of taking care of themselves and keeping their shyt together.
I'm still calling foul on this one--you are still making assumptions about other peoples' lives and coming up short. I guess I want some specific examples.
I have plenty of examples.
There's a girl that I work with. She's cute physically, but has an off-putting personality. She's nice, overall, but very sarcastic, laughs like a hyena, and just has some strange mannerisms. When we first started working together, I had already been here for 2 years and she was new. This is an area where it is fairly difficult to meet someone. In any event, for the first 6 months she was here, she seemed to try to convince me that we have things equally difficult as far as dating (looking back, I'm not sure if this was simply a ploy for me to ask her out....or if she actually believed this). One day, we got into an argument and I told her to stop being so picky.
She went online, put in her exact physical expectations, got over her pickiness (the guy's apartment was slightly messy, which would have been a dealbreaker for her in the past), and she was able to get a boyfriend in a week.
As I said, we live in a sparsely populated area.
I remember at the time, I was shocked and saddened to see how easy she really had it, while I have it so difficult. But it doesn't bother me anymore....because I've gone through that grieving process (denial, guilt, anger, and acceptance).
Quote:
Originally Posted by pittsflyer
Probably because he was a 10, have sauve, sounds like a good job, etc, etc (I assume thats what "10 in his life means"). These are the top 10% that get just as much play as women who are a 7. A woman only has to be a 7 with her life decently put together to be able to get the same amount of attention. If you are a 7 and he picks you, good job your done, your rippie won the loto.
This is true.
I know a guy that is tall, good-looking, and a doctor. However, he is very socially awkward and offends everybody. He is not well-liked. His wife is also very attractive. Do you know how they met? She decided that she wanted to talk to the best looking guy in the bar one day. She hit on him and got his number. He never responded to her texts. Then, they ran into each other somewhere else and she convinced him to go out with her. She did all of the work and now they're married.
In stark contrast, I have to go hard for every girl that I want. At best, I get hints that the girl is interested. At worst, I have to put in a ton of effort without any evidence that the girl likes me. I have to do all of the work each time. This guy, on the other hand, had beautiful women blatantly making moves on him.
And women wonder why men are so reluctant to put in effort these days......
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
Wow, that post was pure ugly.
Maybe at my phase of life, a 10 means something different, like how youthful we are for our age. He has a decent job but nothing near 6-figures--something closer to what my ex also makes so we're in my comfort zone. But yes, he looks pretty good when I'm used to getting maybe 1 to 2 messages a week, tops, from guys who don't even have benefits at their job. So, maybe a 10 for me is someone who's a good fit and maybe I'm a 10 for him. He certainly seemed to think that. What you guys fail to notice though is that most couples are fairly well matched--you don't see a lot of 10 men matched with 6-7 women. Also, as people age, someone who was a 7 all their lives may bump up to a 9-10 just by virtue of taking care of themselves and keeping their shyt together.
Yes, but women drop in value as they age (due to their lack of ability to reproduce as they age). I would say that I'm a 6 or 7 right now. If, by the time I'm in my 40s-50s, I have my stuff together and have taken care of myself, but am still single, I certainly would not be dating someone my own age. In fact, by that time, I will likely have just stopped dating completely anyway. I don't see the point in dating if it's not going to lead to marriage and kids. When women get to a certain age, this becomes no longer possible.
I've literally laid a sexual proposition in a guy's lap before, more than once, and this was after distinct he would love to screw me communication was established on his part, and been soundly rejected. I have gotten various excuses or reasons why, my husband being one who wanted to wait until marriage, another guy didn't want the pressure of me flying to see him and me expecting him to perform so he chickened out, another guy was in a committed relationship and finally realized our interaction was crossing a line when I wanted to take it all the way.
Women try to pick guys up and be the aggressor all the time but it tends to scare guys off, so what is the point? Men say they'd love a sexually aggressive woman but when it comes right down to it my experience tells me different.
Just waiting on the guys to chime in that I'm not sexy or attractive enough and that's why I've been turned down for sex. Like women need more reasons to hate ourselves.
Being too aggressive whether you are a man or a woman can be a real turn off, and it has nothing to do with what you look like. Many people want to get to know you before they jump in bed.
Last edited by Georgianbelle; 11-03-2015 at 03:15 PM..
Such baloney. Akonyo, it sounds like you just want to snag a woman to use for breeding, because you believe you should have a family. As though you actually really just don't like women that much. And don't like sex with them. And kind of hate them actually.
I hope no woman is fool enough to wind up married to you. You will probably be a very abusive man. Because even if she is virtuous, she is still a human being, dude. Not a thing to be used. You seem to have a lot of difficulty with that.
Not that it's any of my business. LOL I'm done breeding, got my tubes tied. My three male and one female lovers, as well as the man who was trying to get something going with me last weekend, all seem to still find me appealing not just for sex, but to spend time with...shocking, I know...even though I can no longer breed for any of them.
There is this thing called companionship. Smart, social people who enjoy one another's company, sharing experiences together and time and conversation. Crazy, I know, but some of us find it really fun. And then there is the massage, the hot tub nights, exploring local cuisine, and yeah...the sex is great, too. For a lot of people, romance is simply enrichment of life.
At various times in my life I have not been afraid to be sexually aggressive, and depending on the dynamic I feel with a partner and what I'm looking for, sometimes I still am. It works well with some people. It's just that I've noticed lately that a certain kind of man I've hoped to have in my life might prefer a softer, more feminine and less aggressive sort of woman. I'm trying to work on what I project to these sorts. Ultimately though, I am who I am. I lay my cards on the table and I play no games. It's just me. Fortunately, there are people out there who do like that.
It is perfectly fine to have preferences when it comes to men or women and how they behave. It is ridiculous though, to say, "Because this is how I like women to be, women SHOULD be this way. I said so." Who do you think you are? And some of ya cast the old judgy words on women who aren't ashamed of enjoying sex. I promise though, not everyone thinks the way you do. And lots of women wind up leading happy, fulfilling lives NOT in selfless servitude to the needs of man and offspring.
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