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I didn't even start dating till I was 40! I had plenty to pick from...it was just slim pickins' where I was living at the time. So I packed my truck up and relocated a few hundred miles east. I had plenty of dates then...even though I was working six 12's ..third shift. I even met the man I married....OLD.
This is one of those way-too-broad things that is hard to answer, because too many variables.
"People in their 20's have high sex drives." NONSENSE. True for men, perhaps, but there's a reason that "cougars" are a thing, and plenty of younger men have figured this out. And appreciate sexually assertive and confident mature women who are ready to throw down with hardcore sex and aren't shocked or bashful about being adventurous in bed. Of course once you get into menopause territory, that does begin to change. But I've known some women in their 60's who were (somewhat shockingly) total freaks (and I mean that in a good way.)
"Older people have more baggage." Mm...no. Not necessarily. I know a number of older childfree people, or have grown kids. Younger people might be good if you're looking to start a family, but as someone seeking those who have established careers and know how to adult, I think that folks in their 40s and 50s are where it's at. People in their 20s are all drama, drama, drama. THAT is some baggage I don't even want to deal with. Divorce debt? How about student loan debt? Young people aren't any less burdened by potential baggage than older ones. If anything, older people have had time to grow some wisdom and learn to manage things.
I'm 36, so what the OP would term in the "older woman" range. I do have baggage. An abusive ex I'm not fully extricated from, two teenage sons, financial burdens (which cause me stress, but I'm not asking anyone to make it their problem.) I'm not only past my breeding prime, I have my tubes tied. And I'm into some odd lifestyle stuff. When I was on OLD, I was getting interest from young guys wanting sex, young guys wanting a mate, people my own age, older people...plenty of options. When the initial hubbub of figuring out what I wanted settled and I finally squared away the relationship configuration that works for me, and deactivated my profile...I ended up with not one, but four loves in my life. It's all I can do to give them all the time I want to with the other obligations I have.
I would say that being "older" has not hindered me in the slightest.
And some people, male and female, age more gracefully than others. The other woman in my poly group is older than me (40's) and she is STUNNING and gets more attention online than I ever did.
I stopped reading the responses on page 5 since I knew I was going to answer only for myself.
I think some of it may be geographical. I was widowed at 34 and I thought that would be a huge hindrance to dating. However, when I was ready to think about dating again a couple of years later, I was told by a male friend my biggest obstacle would be that I'm over 35. And this is a friend who is older than me and only dates women older than himself because as he puts it "they have their **** together and they know what they want." He's 48 and he's pursued our 68 year old friend in the past, for example. He's currently pursuing someone in her 50's. My best friend is 35 and he's told me "no one wants a woman in her 40's."
Myself and my single friends in the age range of 35 -45ish have an EXTREMELY hard time dating in this area. In fact, I reached the point of not wanting to attend events anymore because I got to the point where I simply could no longer have the same discussion over how badly dating sucks in this area. I know several women who have dated "Mr. Right Now" because they got tired of being single. The social scene in this area is also more heavily weighted to single women. My best friend kept telling me I was exaggerating; lately, he's been telling me he doesn't know how to help me because he's seeing that I'm right about the lack of single men in my age range on the social scene.
For myself, dating is the one area of my life that has always been difficult. I just don't seem to be attractive to American men for some reason (but those foreign born tend to find me a lot more attractive). With OLD, I get very view profile views and most of my messages come from bots or fake profiles. (Just to clarify, I am not opposed to dating someone from another country; I just don't meet a lot of them compared to American men).
It's definitely harder because the pool of men is much smaller. I attract a lot of younger men for some reason, but once they find out how much older I am than they thought I was and that I have a child, then they back off. The older men? They're usually over 50 and I'm just not attracted to most of them physically. For some reason, the ones 40-50 only want women ages 35 and below.
I'm not a woman so I can't say for them, but I think each sex has it's own set of issues around dating, and getting older might be harder for men too, I don't know as I'm not out in the dating world.
I wonder if this thread is a ruse just to rag on the old girls????
My experience is women pretty much hold the dating cards if they keep themselves in good shape. I know some women that are quite attractive in their 40s and they have a date ready and willing any night of the week if willing. It's a process though, because each of these women I know, are vain and materialistic. If you're into that kind of woman than sure.
I'd say for the rest of the pack. Men and women struggle in different ways up to age 40. I think the field levels out then, since most have likely already done the parenting thing in their life, so their needs are different.
Women seem to call more shots in dating up to the point that they want to have children. In my experience, I saw that this is when women started to reevaluate what they wanted in a partner.
I found late 20s and early 30s to be my hardest time dating, because I didn't want to date to really meet people. I wanted to date to potentially want a long-term relationship, so everyone I was dating knew that pretty early on. It showed heavily in my actions. It led to women being put off by me wanting more than they were willing to give.
When I was dating to just have fun when I wasn't in relationships during my early 20s throughout my mid 20s, I pretty much had no trouble attracting women. They enjoyed being around the fun side of me, which attracted them to me on a deeper level. Problem was, I wasn't available emotionally on a deeper level.
I couldn't separate the two, which is why I had trouble in my later years when I wanted something serious. Getting older and dating, you view what you want out of life very differently.
Last edited by weezerfan84; 12-08-2015 at 11:41 AM..
I attract a lot of younger men for some reason, but once they find out how much older I am than they thought I was and that I have a child, then they back off. The older men? They're usually over 50 and I'm just not attracted to most of them physically. For some reason, the ones 40-50 only want women ages 35 and below.
I could have that myself, except the child part. I seem to meet men who are around 25 and over 50 by very few in between. I always think the 25 year olds look older than that and they always seem surprised I'm 41. You can just feel that "well, so much for that!" moment when the ages are revealed.
I did meet someone from OKC the other night who is 35. When I casually mentioned I'm almost 42, he seemed a bit surprised. So he either forgot that from my profile or didn't pay attention to it. My best friend is also 35 and he has women approach him somewhat frequently - usually in their late 20's or in their 40's. I told him that as a single man in his 30's, he's a freakin' unicorn.
I don't think there is any doubt that dating gets harder for women as they age. When they are in their prime age of 18-25 or so, they have men of all age brackets chasing them nonstop. Once they get into their 30s and 40s, a lot less men are interested. It doesn't mean there are no attractive aged women, there are plenty and there are guys willing to date them. Unfortunately, in many cases its guys who are extremely desperate for any female attention at all, since they have never had it. If you don't believe what I'm saying, look at the number of attractive women in each age group that do OLD. You wont find many 19 year olds, but there is no shortage of 37 year olds. Their lists of criteria for what they are looking in a man, magically shrink with time, from ridiculously long to a line or two. Not that hard to figure this out.
It's definitely harder because the pool of men is much smaller. I attract a lot of younger men for some reason, but once they find out how much older I am than they thought I was and that I have a child, then they back off. The older men? They're usually over 50 and I'm just not attracted to most of them physically. For some reason, the ones 40-50 only want women ages 35 and below.
fertility. glad to help you get to the bottom of this mystery
Their lists of criteria for what they are looking in a man, magically shrink with time, from ridiculously long to a line or two. Not that hard to figure this out.
If anything, my list is getting longer, at least as far as OLD is concerned. Some of it, however, one would think of as pretty basic criteria such as the ability to compose a grammatically correct sentence.
I know for myself, I know what "right" feels like and I'm not willing to settle for anything else even if that means my late hubby is the only relationship I ever have in my life just for the sake of being in a relationship.
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