Does Dating get Harder for Women as they age? (lover, statistics, children)
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I don't think there is any doubt that dating gets harder for women as they age. When they are in their prime age of 18-25 or so, they have men of all age brackets chasing them nonstop. Once they get into their 30s and 40s, a lot less men are interested.
Is this from your vast life-experience as a woman?
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In my experience, there is definitely something to be said about "quality over quantity". Thankfully, I've come to a point in my life where the numbers simply don't matter. Sure, "a lot less men" interested perhaps, but the reality is, I only need one that is compatible.
Everywhere on the internet you find these blogs from men, who claim that women have a hard time dating once they turn 35 and are invisible to men after the age of 40.
So, women, what are your experiences? I mean,women who lived from 30 up to age 40, at least. Did dating became harder for you, just because of your age, even if you stayed in shape and took care of your looks?
Did you have a hard time finding a man later in life or, worse, have you finally settled just out of desperation? I'm really curious!
I was divorced at ~45 second time around. Dating was harder because of being wiser and thus pickier. On top of that the dating pool was much smaller. Not because men my age were chasing younger women, there were a few who were, but because most men my age were married or re-married. I'm small town so pick-ins are slim anyway.
I dated some but honestly found it not worth my energy and effort. As the years passed I found it even less appealing. Between work, family and friends I really don't want to make the time for dating. There is no desperation nor settling. I think many women, especially if they have been married and had kids, reach a point where they are just over it.
I think women over 35 have more difficulty than men because of the getting pregnant factor. I am 35+ but I would like to be with someone who is, preferably, 28 or 29, as I want to have a family. I think women 35+ have given up on the idea because of potential health risks or they simply don't want kids.
I didn't even start dating till I was 40! I had plenty to pick from...it was just slim pickins' where I was living at the time. So I packed my truck up and relocated a few hundred miles east. I had plenty of dates then...even though I was working six 12's ..third shift. I even met the man I married....OLD.
That's what I have to do, move 1000 miles back to my home city of Atlanta. Wish I could do it now. I'd be long gone, but I'm stuck at the moment.
I think some of it may be geographical.
Myself and my single friends in the age range of 35 -45ish have an EXTREMELY hard time dating in this area. In fact, I reached the point of not wanting to attend events anymore because I got to the point where I simply could no longer have the same discussion over how badly dating sucks in this area.
That's what I have to do, move 1000 miles back to my home city of Atlanta. Wish I could do it now. I'd be long gone, but I'm stuck at the moment.
Ooh, I feel your pain. How I feel your pain. After my last BF and I broke up (nearly 2 years ago--yikes, time flies), I briefly tried OLD where I was living before, and egads, gadzooks, and NOPE-NOPE-NOPE. All it did was make me realize I had to get out of there--values too different, backgrounds too different, too few people who share my beliefs--but it took another year and then some to get everything together and move. I am so utterly thrilled to be back in an area where I fit better and like the men so much more.
Except there is so much to do here and I'm so busy with friends that I haven't even considered dating yet! At this point, I'm not even going to worry about it until March, after the holidays, after Valentine's Day.
Maybe. We'll see. I really like my life now. Not sure I want to mess with the recipe by adding more ingredients just yet.
I am here to say the reality is for anyone over 40 dating is harder. Like I said, the pool is smaller and a lot of those in the pool are single for a reason. You have to really hunt and search for someone compatible (which is hard when most people are single). You have to make sacrifices and lower certain standards when the pool is smaller (the issues like someone having kids from a previous relationship which mattered and could be a deal breaker when you were 20 need to take a back seat to reality that a majority of people over 40 have kids). Or you might have to shelf hopes and dreams you once had, like having kids. But at the same time, you tighten up other standards like the importance of compatible personality because, frankly, as we age we get more set in our personalities and there is less of a chance that we will grow on each other. You want to make sure your retirement goals are in sync too (something the younger folks don't often think about). It won't work if you plan to retire and travel the world in 20 years and your partner wants to work until they die, will it?
Man or woman, where people run into trouble is when they refuse to adapt and change with to face the reality of their age and try to date as if they were still 20, when they aren't. The "game" if you want to call it that changes for both women and men after a certain age. You adapt and are successful... or you dig in your heels and struggle.
Well said. This is what I have to deal with now, speaking a s a man who wanted kids. As NWGirl also said, geographical location can make it way worse, and it does for me.
I don't think there is any doubt that dating gets harder for women as they age. When they are in their prime age of 18-25 or so, they have men of all age brackets chasing them nonstop. Once they get into their 30s and 40s, a lot less men are interested. It doesn't mean there are no attractive aged women, there are plenty and there are guys willing to date them. Unfortunately, in many cases its guys who are extremely desperate for any female attention at all, since they have never had it. If you don't believe what I'm saying, look at the number of attractive women in each age group that do OLD. You wont find many 19 year olds, but there is no shortage of 37 year olds. Their lists of criteria for what they are looking in a man, magically shrink with time, from ridiculously long to a line or two. Not that hard to figure this out.
I disagree with the bolded bit. I think that with some experience in dating comes the lengthening of lists of requirements, as we work out what DIDN'T work for us in failed relationship attempts. Sure, a woman in her 30's who is very newly divorced and hasn't dated much yet might have a pretty short list of requirements because she hasn't figured out what she wants now that she is free, yet. But it won't take her very long, at all. And then you just watch that list grow...
And more to the point, she is usually fairly willing to be alone rather than settle with someone she doesn't like. By that age, most women have already been married or in long term relationships that have gone south. So they know what it is, to be unhappy in a relationship. It really is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.
The only exception to this is women who for whatever reason, just are not independent and need help to get by. They'll take it where they can get it. Whether that is protection from violent exes, help supporting and raising half-grown kids, or support for drug addictions even (I've seen it all, in my ex's desperate dating attempts)...those ladies are not incredibly choosy. Users can't be choosers, I guess.
I also think that older single people (men and women alike) are sometimes less apt to be accurately represented in their numbers because they aren't of the generation that grew up with phones in hand and constantly connected, and some might be averse to doing online dating. So for those here in the forum who tend to draw statistical conclusions from OLD, there might be more older people out there doing the dating thing via bars or meetups or whatever. I know that single guys in their 20's vastly outnumbered older single men on OKC in my area (to my dismay when I was looking.) Part of that was the military and legal pot in this area, I'm sure, but I think there were more out there that just weren't doing OLD.
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At this point, I'm not even going to worry about it until March, after the holidays, after Valentine's Day.
