Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think sex drive fluctuates for healthy men and women, depending on the age group. Most women I've dated had higher sex drive than myself, and I'm pretty sure my sex drive is normal. There are two issues OP. One, sex isn't a gift that a woman decided to gift to a man. It's something you share. Two, if you're choosing men whom you don't find sexually attractive, it's no wonder it feels forced.
I think its a good idea to hold back. This way you can see if he is really "into you" in a more emotional and committed way. If he has a fit when you don't "put out" then you might want to reevaluate your relationship. If a guy really loves you and is interested in building a long term future than his love for you will overcome his "frustration" in not getting it every time he wants it. If your relationship is based solely on a physical need then its better to know now than to waste time and possibly make a huge mistake. When I was dating I was more into knowing the woman and making sure we had an emotional bond, had fun together and were compatible than getting her into the sack whenever I felt like it.
In my opinion, sex should never be used in a reward/punishment fashion. It's how you find yourself in a sex less marriage. Guys, if you see signs of that early on in dating, get out of that relationship as soon as you can.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015
In my opinion, sex should never be used in a reward/punishment fashion. It's how you find yourself in a sex less marriage. Guys, if you see signs of that early on in dating, get out of that relationship as soon as you can.
Gotta agree with this. There are so many women out there that want it and need it that there is no reason to date people that play games with it.
I've been with my old man for like 6 years or so. He talks about his junk every time he walks into the room. I feel like I'm expected to pant and wag my tail when he mentions it. Yet, this is a guy who never actually initiates sex. He thinks its hot when I'm bossy. He'll talk about it half the day but then go to bed and be snoring in five minutes. If I put it out there he's so excited it's over before it starts.
I'd just as soon mop the floor personally and that's not because there's no love or attraction; I just don't give a damn about sex anymore. I got that way about two years ago and he's still like a 14 year old. I thin I got the menopause.
As for being used for sex, that's all in how you look at it. I don't subscribe to the idea that a woman can't go out and get hers just like a man. That double standard is bogus and as long as you have that stuck in your head you will always find yourself feeling a little dejected when a sexual encounter does not result in a relationship. Sex never equals anything but sex until it equals procreation and it does not equal love. Don't be that girl who sees sex as a weapon or a bridge to marriage or a connector by which you will attach yourself to another human being. Sex doesn't do that. It gets you off. It's great if both people get off, it's better when those two people are loving each other. Sex is sapping another person's mojo to increase your own because if you weren't getting something out of it, why would you be giving it?
I'm trying to understand this a bit more. I know most men have a much higher sex drive than most women. Women can go for months even years without sex. But men are much more sexually active. When I'm dating someone, they seem to want it every time we see each other. That makes me want to test them to see if they're not using me for sex by turning them down every now and then. I recognize this might seem like a game so I will only do it if I'm REALLY not feeling it or if I sense that they only like me for my body.
My male friends complain about the women they date having this same complaint. They don't seem to understand how women could feel they're being used for sex. And I can't get seem to get men to see the same way I do about sex. Even the ones who seem to really like me seem to want sex every time they see me like they expect it. If I don't give it, they seem really disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy sex, and I try and please when I can. I usually give it 2-3 times a week when I'm dating someone. But when your partner just expects it, it seems less satisfying and makes me want to hold back.
Any one else have a wise theory for this and how to go about making it better since men and women seem to be on different sex/emotion levels?
BTW, is holding back one of the worst things to do to a man? What if I'm just not feeling it especially if I sense he's expecting it? I sensed that for a guy I was dating. I told him I wasn't feeling it. He asked if I will feel it the next day since we said we would meet up again the next day. That just turned me off even more and made me not want to give it the next day as well.. :/ But he seemed to really like me before that or at least I thought so...
Not sure why anyone would ever "hold back"? I mean...your BF should be making sure that you ARE in fact "feeling it". That's sort of the whole point. Certainly there are times where someone simply might not feel well, or may really just not be in the mood - and you should be simply honest about that....but to purposefully withhold your intimacies from him is wrong. You should end the relationship and wait until you find someone that you DO want to be with.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
but once you get them .......... 
). 
