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Because he has this bizarre defense mechanism that is rooted in a bad self-image:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironhorse444
After that Ill reschedule my routine so she never has to look at me again.
OP, your defensiveness is the killer here.
There's nothing wrong with liking someone, and there's nothing weird about someone possibly liking you. Once YOU believe that, you'll be able to talk to her like a normal person.
If you are asking if she likes you romantically? Only time will tell...... if one of you makes a major move like asking for a number or asking out. Talk is cheap but actions scream.
The problem is that you're trying to figure out with CERTAINTY whether she'll shoot you down before you try. You won't know unless you TRY. What do you have to lose? You only see her once a month anyway, if she says no it'll be easy to avoid her in the future.
Guys need to stop the endless WONDERING, WONDERING, WONDERING. Whatever happened to men of action? ha
The problem is that you're trying to figure out with CERTAINTY whether she'll shoot you down before you try. You won't know unless you TRY. What do you have to lose? You only see her once a month anyway, if she says no it'll be easy to avoid her in the future.
Guys need to stop the endless WONDERING, WONDERING, WONDERING. Whatever happened to men of action? ha
They are too busy wallowing in their swamp of "misery."
Good gawd. How are these people going to handle life's real tragedies?
I thank each of you for the input, it's greatly appreciated.
It was just a question... Prior to this I talked to her just fine, maybe not a lot but I talked. I'm just going to assume it's nothing and she just has really good manners. I wasn't looking to get involved with anyone anyhow. I don't want anyone in my life I quit trying ages ago. If I was such a wonderful catch I'd been caught years ago. I get it! I guess it just struck me funny someone would actually be nice to me and I got all confused and mistook politeness for liking me. Hell, no one likes me! I should have remembered that. Never in all of my life have I had one half way decent looking woman look my way with romantic intentions. But that's okay I understand not everyone is meant to find love or be loved.
But I do thank you for sharing your wisdom with me
I thank each of you for the input, it's greatly appreciated.
It was just a question... Prior to this I talked to her just fine, maybe not a lot but I talked. I'm just going to assume it's nothing and she just has really good manners. I wasn't looking to get involved with anyone anyhow. I don't want anyone in my life I quit trying ages ago. If I was such a wonderful catch I'd been caught years ago. I get it! I guess it just struck me funny someone would actually be nice to me and I got all confused and mistook politeness for liking me. Hell, no one likes me! I should have remembered that. Never in all of my life have I had one half way decent looking woman look my way with romantic intentions. But that's okay I understand not everyone is meant to find love or be loved.
But I do thank you for sharing your wisdom with me
According to a thread you started a couple of weeks ago, women were constantly checking you out and potentially wanting to be with you. According to you, that was annoying and you were curious as to how other people with that problem dealt with it.
So which is it? No one likes you? Or women are always seeking ways to get with you? It can't be both.
According to a thread you started a couple of weeks ago, women were constantly checking you out and potentially wanting to be with you. According to you, that was annoying and you were curious as to how other people with that problem dealt with it.
So which is it? No one likes you? Or women are always seeking ways to get with you? It can't be both.
What part of half way decent looking don't you understand? I said I see women look at me. I never said they was wanting me. I guess some do? But they're not the sort of women I find attractive. I'm not looking for no 9's or 10's, but 9's and 10's do speak with me, I guess cause they know I'm not going to hit on them so why wouldn't they talk to me I'm just a Friendzone guy to them. I know what I am to them no since in making a fuss about it or getting bent out shape. They want the hot guys I understand this...
I know what I like and what I don't and I'm entitled to make my own choices like everyone else. I'm not going to settle it's my life to live and how I choose to live it. If that means never meeting anyone of value then so be it. So, yes no one likes me that I actually like, it's a fact of life I've learned over many years.
But I do appreciate your empathy and kind words. Thank you.
The problem is that you're trying to figure out with CERTAINTY whether she'll shoot you down before you try. You won't know unless you TRY. What do you have to lose? You only see her once a month anyway, if she says no it'll be easy to avoid her in the future.
Guys need to stop the endless WONDERING, WONDERING, WONDERING. Whatever happened to men of action? ha
I would like you to approach the next guy you see.
What part of half way decent looking don't you understand? I said I see women look at me. I never said they was wanting me. I guess some do? But they're not the sort of women I find attractive. I'm not looking for no 9's or 10's, but 9's and 10's do speak with me, I guess cause they know I'm not going to hit on them so why wouldn't they talk to me I'm just a Friendzone guy to them. I know what I am to them no since in making a fuss about it or getting bent out shape. They want the hot guys I understand this...
I know what I like and what I don't and I'm entitled to make my own choices like everyone else. I'm not going to settle it's my life to live and how I choose to live it. If that means never meeting anyone of value then so be it. So, yes no one likes me that I actually like, it's a fact of life I've learned over many years.
But I do appreciate your empathy and kind words. Thank you.
No, you don't understand it. What you write on here I can assure you pours out of you as you walk around in life. That is what they don't want. Who the hell wants to spend time with someone who says things like, "no one wants me, no one likes me, because no one has asked me out it means I'm a loser that no one wants..."
Snap out of it. Stop placing your self worth in to the hands of other people. You aren't getting anyone because everyone can see it, and it's a fricken downer to spend time with people like that. Work on your confidence and self respect, stop trying to gain it from other people. That comes from you, it is not the job of others to make you feel worthy, and most people don't appreciate it when someone tries to make it their job.
Lighten up, man. It does not have to be this complicated. You're on here talking about small twitches that happen around a person's mouth and wondering what colossal meaning it all has. And someone else had it right, as soon as you feel like someone *might* reject you, because you've convinced yourself of this with every bit of analyzing that you've performed for every fricken blink, breath, and eye movement, you slam up this huge wall of defensiveness declaring that you've "given up" on it all...right after you write a really long post about a girl that you like.
Do not ask her out. Don't ask anyone out. Figure out your self worth, get some respect for yourself, grow some confidence in yourself because of yourself, not others, and then ask someone out. You'll see that it won't be so hard, and won't take months on end of deep concentration of every facial twitch a person has while standing in front of you. If they reject your request, it is not an attack on you. It just wasn't the right person. That is all that it means.
No, you don't understand it. What you write on here I can assure you pours out of you as you walk around in life. That is what they don't want. Who the hell wants to spend time with someone who says things like, "no one wants me, no one likes me, because no one has asked me out it means I'm a loser that no one wants..."
Just cause I say something here doesn't imply in the least that I walk around saying that stuff to others in person. Say for example I walked up to you, I'd be saying "hi, how are youuuuu" with a smile. I might start in with "How has your day been?" "Great" with a smile and throwing in a nod of agreement. I might then drift off into telling something I saw today or yesterday. I'm a pretty good story teller... So, don't make the mistake of believing I'm some sort of inept idiot who can't talk that strolls through life with the face of depression. I'm neither needy nor desperate! All in all i'm an upbeat happy individual and if you were to meet me in person that's exactly what you'd see. Why, just the other day I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous knock out beauty. She wasn't getting the impression that your implying. We was being fun, engaging, flirtatious I guess you could say. I was teasing her and she was teasing back. Why she even held stopped and held the door for me as I was pulling a cart out, she didn't have to do that. We gave each other a friendly good bye and hope you have a great day send off. Now, does that sound anything like a person who's being viewed as a grump anti-social depressed poor me type? You really think a beauty such as her would be standing around shooting the **** with me if I was being anything like you just described. Ha Ha, I think we both know that would never be the case.
Maybe you need to reassess your misconceptions and realize what I'm saying here has nothing to do with the way I carry myself in the real world. I'm not the unhappy depressed sad faced dope you think. I just have the courage to come on here and talk about things and share my thoughts. It's good to hear different perspectives and to learn of ways to improve one's self. It should never be taken as meaning someone who dislikes themselves, but that's what you're doing and it's a mistake to do so.
But it's all cool dude, no ill feelings. You know there are two kinds of people in the world there is the observer and the observed, most people are the latter. So, yea I notice little twirks in behavior that other people just don't get. I can tell if I'm annoying someone or they're a disinterested bore, a grouch who hates everything about the world. Sometimes, in fact many times I'll call them out on it. give them a little shake up wake up call saying 'Hey, slow down I'm talking to you" that usually grabs their attention and then I'll say "I just wanted to say Hi and say I hope your day is great" Most if not 100% of the time that usually brings a smile to their face. And what's so wrong with that? Most people like to know they're recognized and appreciated
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