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No - in general, the universe probably has better things to worry about than whether or not I have a husband, or even a date for Friday night. In fact right now, I think the universe is probably more concerned with the upcoming NHL playoffs.
Location: Mableton, GA USA (NW Atlanta suburb, 4 miles OTP)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U
No - in general, the universe probably has better things to worry about than whether or not I have a husband, or even a date for Friday night. In fact right now, I think the universe is probably more concerned with the upcoming NHL playoffs.
I'm a Minnesotan stuck in the south. No NHL team, no college hockey. It's like being in a wasteland...
I don't. I think, although we tend to think of endless genetic difference possibilities, and though we also tend to think we, ourselves, are entirely unique, there really are only so many combinations of what will "work" and what won't in a human relationship for any given individual and when you hit upon that combination it feels so familiar that we think that must be the magic person. There are really only so many possibilities and if we allow it, dozens of people could conceivably feel "soul-mate deep" because those people will "match" to that specific extent. Nobody wants to admit this, but we are not as unique as we think we are. We WILL "match" many many people just by chance, happenstance and by being human with ONLY human variation available within and to us.
As you go through life you'll find there is more than one person who seems to immediately click with you, not always on a romantic relationship level, but at least in general. Because compared to the entire population of people you know, such "clickings" are comparatively rare, again, we think of them as very, very unique and in our self-centered way we think of ourselves as very, very unique too and so we believe, or want to believe, it's some sort of cosmic perfect relationship storm, made just for us.
I don't believe that. Rather, I feel it's our biology and personality fitting with another's in each of our best possible scenario ways, which, again, human beings are built to do. We are biologically built to be a social species, and whether that means social with dozens at a time or only communicative/interactive with very few, our very DNA demands interaction. If we WEREN'T built to fit "just perfectly!" (at least at first) with a number of people it's doubtful we would have been as successful as we have been so far, since socialness/lots of minds/bodies coming together has been such a boon to homo sapiens.
If there were "soul mates," then nothing on earth could prevent us from having them, they being, cosmically speaking, built just for us and vice versa...correct? So every person would have one and be content. Is that the case? OTOH if it were more cruel than that and we each had a soul mate but, say, that person died, then what? We're screwed for the rest of our lives? That would be very counter-survival because we would give up, stop eating, stop sleeping, perhaps even stop protecting our society mates, maybe even our children. Even animals can literally die of heartbreak if the loss is strong enough; so can we. An animal (like us) with the consciousness to understand that we had that ONE chance at pure love and now it's gone forever would more likely than not want to die and might actually do it. I can't see that as a "norm" for any creature and have that creature thrive as a species whole.
So no. No "soul mates" and no cosmic finger nudging us toward that one special person. If you lose the person you think WAS that one special person, then provided you don't self-limit (especially emotionally) you'll find it again. And again. Until you die. It's the way we operate, it's the way we want things, it's what we inwardly seek, if we don't find it we'll nudge things and accept things and so on in favor of having a "soul"-deep connection with someone else.
Do you think soulmates exist? Does the universe really conspire to bring two people together? Thoughts and experiences welcome!
It's a nice thought but I think that's all it is
You could meet the most perfect person and think as such..... Until you meet/see one that's better. I'm guessing the same concept works for " soulmates " in reality.
The term soulmate I'd look upon as a compliment more than anything If said to me
Well, I was alone for years before I met her, and I've been alone for the past 15 months.
That by itself doesn't really bother me. I was more scared of hurting her, and I admit that I also felt a little bit guilty over the fact that I had met a few women down here who I had a strong attraction to and I didn't want any of them to be the reason, so I waited until I was ready. That took a while.
Thankfully, I have more than a few friends that I was (and am) able to talk to about stuff like this, so I had good support until I decided enough was enough. There are other circumstances I won't talk about (neither of us cheated, but the ship did have leaks) that contributed to my decision.
I'm just glad we were able to part ways in peace. And I plan on keeping in touch with her, though right now I would much rather not see her on a regular basis. I've spent over a year now apart from her, and I've been able to become comfortable in my own self again. I want to stay in my happy place, and in time I'll find someone who will want to share it with me. I found her back when I was clueless. Now, I'm just mostly clueless.
It sounds like you've got your head on right. We're still in the same house and he's starting to become angry because he knows I will be leaving soon. I've said that before though. Normally when guilt and loneliness creeps in, I back down and work the relationship more.
I can't do it this time. Built the guilt and loneliness is creeping in with a vengeance now. My confidence is in the ****ter and I'm eating everything in sight. And now... In have come to the Internet for counseling. Lord help me!!! Lol How long does the guilt and loneliness last?
It sounds like you've got your head on right. We're still in the same house and he's starting to become angry because he knows I will be leaving soon. I've said that before though. Normally when guilt and loneliness creeps in, I back down and work the relationship more.
I can't do it this time. Built the guilt and loneliness is creeping in with a vengeance now. My confidence is in the ****ter and I'm eating everything in sight. And now... In have come to the Internet for counseling. Lord help me!!! Lol How long does the guilt and loneliness last?
Some say healing takes twice as long as the relationship lasted. Of course there is the unique aspect that we all heal in our own way and it's different for each.
Use the net for humor, a way to laugh. That I KNOW promotes healing.
Some say healing takes twice as long as the relationship lasted. Of course there is the unique aspect that we all heal in our own way and it's different for each.
Use the net for humor, a way to laugh. That I KNOW promotes healing.
That's true. I've always heard a month for every year you were together.
Do you think soulmates exist? Does the universe really conspire to bring two people together? Thoughts and experiences welcome!
I would tend to say "no", but I've heard some pretty unusual stories, so maybe in some cases, the universe does conspire. I've heard of people who knew years in advance exactly the circumstances in which they'd meet their future spouse. Unusual circumstances. Some seemingly clairvoyant moments. Odd.
I would tend to say "no", but I've heard some pretty unusual stories, so maybe in some cases, the universe does conspire. I've heard of people who knew years in advance exactly the circumstances in which they'd meet their future spouse. Unusual circumstances. Some seemingly clairvoyant moments. Odd.
Well, that's another thing, are such scenarios (which are sweet, BTW!) support for the idea of soul mates, or simple clairvoyance?
Clairvoyance wouldn't mean there has to be such a thing as soul mates, it would mean there has to be such a thing as clairvoyance.
I do love those stories even though I really don't believe. I enjoy a great story and I enjoy seeing people wind up very happy.
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