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Does she know you refer to her as your "current" girlfriend? Doesn't sound like you are any more invested in the future of the relationship than she is, so have fun while it lasts and stop overthinking it. Maybe your next girlfriend will be better.
Mrs. Chow's dad used to introduce his wives as "this is my current wife ______" Apparently he thought it was cute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Yeah, and a lot of times that kind of person can't relax. So if the OP's girlfriend does stay in with him, she's constantly thinking of and stressing out about all the stuff she needs to do at work, and he doesn't have her full attention even if she's physically there.
I'm no where near being a workaholic, but I admit I've spent many days consumed with work thoughts when at home, to the point of being sad. I've wasted many years of my life being consumed with work.
OP, she doesn't have time for a relationship. Or maybe she does, but she's not willing to make time. It's hard for us to say whether she's a workaholic or not; maybe there really is work at the office that needs to get done on weekends. Plus, she's going to school while working full time. I wouldn't expect anyone with that much on their plate to have time for a relationship. You could point this out to her, as you fade into the background and consider moving on, or putting the relationship on hold until she graduates and gets the job she's aiming for.
On the other hand, she may, indeed, be a workaholic. She's hoping for a promotion at work? To what? Paralegals don't get promotions; their position IS the promotion for the secretarial staff who get the necessary training. And why would she need a promotion anyway, since she's completing a degree that will qualify her for higher-level work? Maybe she needs the money a promotion would give her, if she's working her way through school? Still, I'm curious to know what step there is above paralegal, that isn't "lawyer". I'm not buying her line.
How long until she graduates? Is this a matter of sticking out a few more months, or will it be years? The fact is, she either doesn't have the time for a relationship, or isn't willing to make the time. That tells you where you stand. It's your choice whether to tolerate it, or move on.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-22-2016 at 03:04 PM..
I don't about how many people here believe in work life balance.
But it appears my current GF has no clue how to juggle a relationship.
When I am trying to make plans to go to the beach for the weekend. She wants to get ahead on the weekend at her job then study for loads of hours for some of the classes she is currently taking at a university to finish up her degree program.
I got nothing against it the problem is that she doesn't put in the effort to spend time together.
She's a Type A personality. Now I like someone that's ambitious don't get me wrong but its hard to develop the relationship more further if we hardly spend time together.
I complain and told her" Why don't you want to spend time with me if it's been 3 weeks.
Then she's like " Sorry I want to get ahead"
At her job shes a Paralegal for a small firm but she says that she has lots of paperwork that can't wait so she has to come in on a Saturday then couple more hours on Sunday.
She's doing it in chances of getting a promotion
Then I said " So you don't want to spend time with me?"
But then shes like " I do but I have so much to do I can't rest"
I try to be supportive and patient about it but if there are 24 hours in a day, it's possible to at least squeeze in some time to spend together.
I don't mean to so like a *****. I like her because we can relate plenty of our goals and we are compatible in many ways.
I told her we could study together too but she said she can't study if she's distracted.
I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.
What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
Yikes, it's been awhile since I heard complaints about their girlfriend.wife/significant other as being too busy? Most complain about lack of effort in pulling their weight, lazy or is messy LOL
Anyway, when younger adults are striving to get educated, work to pay bills, plus willing to give up "FUN STUFF" it should be a positive. So, is it that you feel ignored, unappreciated, discarded in some way? What is it like when you are together?? Good communication, physically drawn to each other etc?
When young adults are getting started ..to attain that level of security..often the amount of time spent together is affected.
If you (OP) cannot look at whatever time together in a "Quality TIME" versus "Quantity Time" view..just maybe it won't be a good fit. If you required more time..and don't have other things you can enjoy doing..Then I'm afraid you want too much time together ..Only you know what you personally require in order to feel "WHOLE" in a committed relationship ..Best of luck tho
OP, she doesn't have time for a relationship. Or maybe she does, but she's not willing to make time. It's hard for us to say whether she's a workaholic or not; maybe there really is work at the office that needs to get done on weekends. Plus, she's going to school while working full time. I wouldn't expect anyone with that much on their plate to have time for a relationship. You could point this out to her, as you fade into the background and consider moving on.
On the other hand, she may, indeed, be a workaholic. She's hoping for a promotion at work? To what? Paralegals don't get promotions; their position IS the promotion for the secretarial staff who get the necessary training. And why would she need a promotion anyway, since she's completing a degree that will qualify her for higher-level work? Maybe she needs the money a promotion would give her, if she's working her way through school? Still, I'm curious to know what step there is above paralegal, that isn't "lawyer".
How long until she graduates? Is this a matter of sticking out a few more months, or will it be years? The fact is, she either doesn't have the time for a relationship, or isn't willing to make the time. That tells you where you stand. It's your choice whether to tolerate it, or move on.
This is the exact reason for my not wanting to be in a committed relationship. I've set goals for myself and I don't want to have to compromise those goals in order to live up to someone else's expectations of me.
"It's all about me" and I make no secret about that... Right from the get go, because I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, not do I wish them to rain on mine.
I can see the OP's point and were it I and this was an issue I think I'd look for someone more like myself rather than try and make someone conform to my way of thinking.
I don't see much difference between the workaholic who can't separate life from work and the smartphone addict who can't engage with humans and always has their nose in their phone. It's a compulsion and they probably don't realize it. The OP needs to have the talk about having time dedicated to living life instead of being focused on work. It could be as simple as a "no work on Saturdays" rule.
OP, she doesn't have time for a relationship. Or maybe she does, but she's not willing to make time. It's hard for us to say whether she's a workaholic or not; maybe there really is work at the office that needs to get done on weekends. Plus, she's going to school while working full time. I wouldn't expect anyone with that much on their plate to have time for a relationship. You could point this out to her, as you fade into the background and consider moving on, or putting the relationship on hold until she graduates and gets the job she's aiming for.
On the other hand, she may, indeed, be a workaholic. She's hoping for a promotion at work? To what? Paralegals don't get promotions; their position IS the promotion for the secretarial staff who get the necessary training. And why would she need a promotion anyway, since she's completing a degree that will qualify her for higher-level work? Maybe she needs the money a promotion would give her, if she's working her way through school? Still, I'm curious to know what step there is above paralegal, that isn't "lawyer". I'm not buying her line.
How long until she graduates? Is this a matter of sticking out a few more months, or will it be years? The fact is, she either doesn't have the time for a relationship, or isn't willing to make the time. That tells you where you stand. It's your choice whether to tolerate it, or move on.
I am surprised by the responses here. The woman is working and going to school. I know that most of C-D had the luxury of going to school without holding a full-time job, but cut the woman some slack.
Where I work, we have paralegals and Senior paralegals. Our paralegals are always under deadline. Everything that they do is time-sensitive - some governed by law. I can believe that she has work that cannot wait. You do not want to be that paralegal who makes the clerical error that gets the case thrown out of court. You do not want your attorney to walk into court unprepared.
I hate to be rude, but the OP sounds too whiny for me. He should move on - his GF does not need the extra stress.
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LOL
