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What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
End it. You're not getting what you need from the relationship. And there is nothing to tell her - you already did that.
If you're both in that career building phase of your life, it behooves you to be humpin' it and getting things done. To set up for a balanced, successful career and family life later. It's called delayed gratification.
My ex got on my case for how hard I had to work and the hours I was gone during med school and residency. I dumped her.
Then we spent the next 10 years not only working, but building a company that we sold. It meant longer than normal hours and annoying travel. But we did what we had to do to build that company.
So before 40, I could technically retire debt-free, and she's barely made a dent in her brand new mortgage and has barely anything in 401k.
Who's gonna have the better, more balanced life now?
If Mamma could read these posts I can assure you that she would spank his behind with a large wooden spoon in a most dominant and unfeminine way!
Italian women do not put up with this entitled male **** for a second.
Some people prefer false stereotypes to reality. Like the one about E European women not being career-driven. OMG! You'd better get out of their way when they have their eye on someone's job or are building their career; they'll steamroll you and leave you for dead! Like Genghis Khan, they take no prisoners and stop at nothing.
The truth is always so much more interesting than fantasy.
I don't about how many people here believe in work life balance.
But it appears my current GF has no clue how to juggle a relationship.
When I am trying to make plans to go to the beach for the weekend. She wants to get ahead on the weekend at her job then study for loads of hours for some of the classes she is currently taking at a university to finish up her degree program.
I got nothing against it the problem is that she doesn't put in the effort to spend time together.
She's a Type A personality. Now I like someone that's ambitious don't get me wrong but its hard to develop the relationship more further if we hardly spend time together.
I complain and told her" Why don't you want to spend time with me if it's been 3 weeks.
Then she's like " Sorry I want to get ahead"
At her job shes a Paralegal for a small firm but she says that she has lots of paperwork that can't wait so she has to come in on a Saturday then couple more hours on Sunday.
She's doing it in chances of getting a promotion
Then I said " So you don't want to spend time with me?"
But then shes like " I do but I have so much to do I can't rest"
I try to be supportive and patient about it but if there are 24 hours in a day, it's possible to at least squeeze in some time to spend together.
I don't mean to so like a *****. I like her because we can relate plenty of our goals and we are compatible in many ways.
I told her we could study together too but she said she can't study if she's distracted.
I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.
What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
Between the two of you do you have enough money saved for a down payment, yes or no?
Do each of you have at least a 6 month and preferably one year emergency fund, yes of no?
Are you and your GF both maxing out on 401Ks if they are offered (and if not, maxing on IRAs). Yes or no?
If you did not answer yes to all three questions, then I suggest you (re) read the fable of the grasshopper and the ant.
Last edited by BayAreaHillbilly; 04-22-2016 at 04:25 PM..
OP, she doesn't have time for a relationship. Or maybe she does, but she's not willing to make time. It's hard for us to say whether she's a workaholic or not; maybe there really is work at the office that needs to get done on weekends. Plus, she's going to school while working full time. I wouldn't expect anyone with that much on their plate to have time for a relationship. You could point this out to her, as you fade into the background and consider moving on, or putting the relationship on hold until she graduates and gets the job she's aiming for.
On the other hand, she may, indeed, be a workaholic. She's hoping for a promotion at work? To what? Paralegals don't get promotions; their position IS the promotion for the secretarial staff who get the necessary training. And why would she need a promotion anyway, since she's completing a degree that will qualify her for higher-level work? Maybe she needs the money a promotion would give her, if she's working her way through school? Still, I'm curious to know what step there is above paralegal, that isn't "lawyer". I'm not buying her line.
How long until she graduates? Is this a matter of sticking out a few more months, or will it be years? The fact is, she either doesn't have the time for a relationship, or isn't willing to make the time. That tells you where you stand. It's your choice whether to tolerate it, or move on.
Or .... maybe she's rightfully freaking out about her financial strength and doing something about it ... and ... the OP ought to be ... and isn't!
Maybe we'll see the OP someday over on the retirement forum someday starting a "how can I retire with only 50K saved?" thread.
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