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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmoStars
I don't about how many people here believe in work life balance.
But it appears my current GF has no clue how to juggle a relationship.
When I am trying to make plans to go to the beach for the weekend. She wants to get ahead on the weekend at her job then study for loads of hours for some of the classes she is currently taking at a university to finish up her degree program.
I got nothing against it the problem is that she doesn't put in the effort to spend time together.
She's a Type A personality. Now I like someone that's ambitious don't get me wrong but its hard to develop the relationship more further if we hardly spend time together.
I complain and told her" Why don't you want to spend time with me if it's been 3 weeks.
Then she's like " Sorry I want to get ahead"
At her job shes a Paralegal for a small firm but she says that she has lots of paperwork that can't wait so she has to come in on a Saturday then couple more hours on Sunday.
She's doing it in chances of getting a promotion
Then I said " So you don't want to spend time with me?"
But then shes like " I do but I have so much to do I can't rest"
I try to be supportive and patient about it but if there are 24 hours in a day, it's possible to at least squeeze in some time to spend together.
I don't mean to so like a *****. I like her because we can relate plenty of our goals and we are compatible in many ways.
I told her we could study together too but she said she can't study if she's distracted.
I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.
What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
Personally, this is why I argue against any poster who says you can date, study, and work at the same time. Most humans can do 2 out of 3 well without hitting the fan. I just completed a grad program last year and it would not have been fair for me to date and give a girl a halfa$& effort in maintaining a relationship. If you are cool being her #3 priority, stay in the relationship. If you aren't, handle your business and end the relationship.
She couldn't join you for dinner? She has to eat dinner somewhere, why wouldn't she offer to meet you and everyone for dinner, after she's done with work? It's a small gesture that would mean a lot for someone who's supposedly a loved one (you). Are you sure she's truly into you?
I know for me, most of my study/homework time was on the weekends. The GF already worked this weekend, which cut into her study time.
It's not just work, it's school, too.
I work and attend school (semester is over, thank God). My husband barely saw me - but unlike the OP, he is self-sufficient and proud of the fact that I am bettering myself.
I did make it up to him, but yeah, when I was home I was studying and completing projects. And like the GF, my mom barely saw me, either.
The OP just doesn't get it. The GF needs to not date IMO until school is over.
They have another year and a half, and it is going to get harder from here.
"You can't be in a realtionship if your never their for it"
No matter how much anyone want to try and change this fact out of their own needs or work their situations to try to justify never being available....this will always remain the truth on the matter.
"You can't be in a realtionship if your never their for it"
No matter how much anyone want to try and change this fact out of their own needs or work their situations to try to justify never being available....this will always remain the truth on the matter.
I was already in my relationship when I decided to go back to school. Should I not have obtained my degree because of my relationship with my husband? And I cannot quit my job.
There are plenty of married people in my classes. We are making it work.
"You can't be in a realtionship if your never their for it"
No matter how much anyone want to try and change this fact out of their own needs or work their situations to try to justify never being available....this will always remain the truth on the matter.
How about long distance relationships? I'm sure they can and have got around this mate
I know for me, most of my study/homework time was on the weekends. The GF already worked this weekend, which cut into her study time.
It's not just work, it's school, too.
I work and attend school (semester is over, thank God). My husband barely saw me - but unlike the OP, he is self-sufficient and proud of the fact that I am bettering myself.
I did make it up to him, but yeah, when I was home I was studying and completing projects. And like the GF, my mom barely saw me, either.
The OP just doesn't get it. The GF needs to not date IMO until school is over.
They have another year and a half, and it is going to get harder from here.
This raises a point that hasn't been mentioned here. We don't know how long the OP and his gf have been dating. You were in an established relationship, so it's reasonable to expect your SO to be supportive when you chose to go back to school while working. If the OP's relationship with his gf is new and may not be quite on solid ground, yet, then it's very difficult to cultivate a relationship while one of the people is busy with both school and work. If one person is unavailable, the relationship or dateship may not gel. Men who own their own small businesses have this problem; they're not available to date, so the object of their interest is expected to be ok with only seeing them rarely, or with conducting "dates" at their workplace, keeping them company while they work. Few women are amenable to that. Guys like that tend to lead lonely lives, or end up divorced young.
It would be helpful to have a better picture from the OP as to how far the relationship has progressed. If he's been with her for a year or more, and they're in a committed relationship, then it would be more reasonable to expect him to support her effort to get ahead.
Im currently involved with A med student who could only txt me maybe a few hours at night.
Hes always busy,it makes me promptly forget about him and look for others.
I don't think you should stick around if you're not a priority,it's within relationships that you have the most posterity and love,no one will remember or care about you after you leave your job you've invested your life into.
I honestly think it's all about priorities. My bf is completing his residency and while he's always busy/on call most days (and nights), he still makes time for me. I'm also busy myself with grad school and work, so it's not an issue for me because being career driven is something I understand. But I honestly feel like no one is so busy that they can't spare a few hours a week with a loved one. Again, priorities.
I honestly think it's all about priorities. My bf is completing his residency and while he's always busy/on call most days (and nights), he still makes time for me. I'm also busy myself with grad school and work, so it's not an issue for me because being career driven is something I understand. But I honestly feel like no one is so busy that they can't spare a few hours a week with a loved one. Again, priorities.
I acutually love this response althou my life has generally a lot of free time during the weeknights and weekends.
I put her as my first prioirity but whenever I ask her to do the same for me
She seems sometimes a bit annoyed or just doesn't want to do it.
At this point its mostly likely if she doesn't change or do something about it
I will move on
Today im with some of my buddies hanging out instead.
And I make time for them and even my family but my gf would always come first
And no its not being clingy i guess some people take however way they want but for me its important to spend quality time with my gf in person and not just become cyber friends
Im currently involved with A med student who could only txt me maybe a few hours at night.
Hes always busy,it makes me promptly forget about him and look for others.
I don't think you should stick around if you're not a priority,it's within relationships that you have the most posterity and love,no one will remember or care about you after you leave your job you've invested your life into.
I treat my job as JUST a job
Thats it collect the paycheck go home
Jobs come and go
Relationships come and go to but that special relationship where you get along with someone so well and puts you as a prioirity is something i desire at this point
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hitting the fan. I just completed a grad program last year and it would not have been fair for me to date and give a girl a halfa$& effort in maintaining a relationship. If you are cool being her #3 priority, stay in the relationship. If you aren't, handle your business and end the relationship.
