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I think he found someone else, but he doesn't sound like a great catch. And frankly you sound a bit needy also. And remember in the future that if someone seems a bit boring to you early on, they are going to be VERY boring to you later on. I would move on, and look for a guy who has more confidence and isn't worried about silly things like who initiates texts.
Looks like so far it's unanimous
When you meet someone through OLD, if it's "an expensive agency" and you see they are still searching online, it means they're still searching. If you had sex with this new person in your life and want a relationship, ad then your text them and there's no sense of urgency to reply to your text, but they do have time to go back to searching on line...that's kind of a passive aggressive slap in the face, don't you think They know you can see what they're doing, so they may be using this technique to send you a message.
Back to the drawing board! You are looking for someone that doesn't make you question whether they're really in to you or not. No mediocre sex...why waste your time?
Can't even joke or entertain? Sounds like he'd suck as even a platonic roommate let alone a spouse. It seems like the only thing in common is that he wants a committed relationship and a house in the same district as you. There has to be more. So, so much more.
He sounds like he doesn't really know how to access and share his emotions.
That's right. It looks like it's extremely difficult for him to express his emotions. Not only to me, but to everyone. He said he couldn't socialize with his parents as he had a feeling that they underestimated him and didn't love him much enough, but at the same time he couldn't say it to them.
If you have to come on a forum and ask strangers about potential issues in your relationship, if there's something that bugs you about your situation, then perhaps you should move on and look elsewhere. Big things happen from little things. Humans have evolved over millions of years to have that gut instinct which warns of potentially bad situations.
Trust it.
Yeah, when problems occur so early, it's a bad sign. I should move on...
He's pulled out the bigger stops briefly when he felt like he "had" to (like the great kissing but only after being lukewarm and sort of half-hearted in his involvement in the dates). Then he ramped things up because he wanted sex. (Sorry.) He even pulled out "where do you want to live? What kind of flat? ME TOO" thing - on only the 4th date. Honey, that should have been a red flag. That's what people do when they want to create an artificial "connection" so the other person trusts enough to put out. I'm not saying he's evil or anything...but this is common.
FTR, I'm not seeing "shy" here. This guy may well be shy, but I am not reading that, specifically, from what you're stating. Rather, what I'm seeing is either a lack of social ability, or just not caring enough to perform socially the way someone who cares about making an impression would. That doesn't mean shy, though.
I think you overestimate his seduction abilities I don't think that he wanted to seduce me on purpose for just having sex and then move on. I think he is looking for a dominant woman, who would be initiative and encouraging, as he is very unsure.
You are right, he is not shy, just unsure and lacking social competence. He asked me whether he could kiss me before doing that. Looks like he needs a woman who will do the whole job herself. And after realizing that I am not that kind of woman he vanished.
I think he found someone else, but he doesn't sound like a great catch. And frankly you sound a bit needy also. And remember in the future that if someone seems a bit boring to you early on, they are going to be VERY boring to you later on. I would move on, and look for a guy who has more confidence and isn't worried about silly things like who initiates texts.
I am 28. About 1,5 months ago I met a 37-year old man through an online dating agency. We had 5 dates altogether.
He is a shy guy, doesn’t talk much. When there were pauses in a conversation, I was the one to fill them. His last relationship lasted for 12 years and he has a 4,5 year-old son. He was not married officially and had been single for 5 months when I met him. His ex-girlfriend was dominant, he said she was the chef in their relationship.
I was his second date. He said that his first date wasn’t attractive enough for him, so he texted her telling the truth about her looks (I find it too rude).
He said he was very glad to meet me, as I am very attractive and cool. I told him that I also find him attractive. Our 4 first dates were lovely, but a bit boring as he didn’t talk much, kissed me only on the 3rd date. But he turned out to be a great kisser.
He made a serious impression, told me that he wants kids and asked me whether I want a house or a flat and in which district. I told him „a house“, and he said he wanted the same, and in the same district.
On our 5th date he invited me to his house. He asked me 3 times, whether I really wanted it. I agreed. We had sex. It was o.k., nothing special, but I liked it, and told him that it was great. He didn’t believe me and told me I wasn’t being honest and just wanted to flatter him. I told him that I really find him great in bed. He looked sceptical of my words.
Before our 5th date he texted me once a day, but he always started texts. When he drove me home after our 5st date, we kissed about 20 minutes in his car and then he told me he would like me to text him first, as he was doing it all the time, and wanted some initiative from me. I said: „o.k.“ and wrote to him first in the evening, telling about my day and asking how his day was. He described in detail everything he was doing, like washing his car, shopping, cleaning, etc. And he didn’t ask me anything...
Next morning I did the same. I wrote to him what I did and was planning to do, and everything repeated. He wrote about his plans to meet his son and go to the gym. And not a single question to me. I was a bit perplexed and didn’t write anything that day and the following day. But then, the following day, he broke the silence and texted me asking what I was doing. I wrote a really long text, and asked him about his day. He didn’t answer for almost 3 days.
On the 3rd day I felt offended. The thing is that since I met him he was online by the dating agency all the time. And while he didn’t have time to text me he had plenty of time for the dating agency. I felt like I was used and texted him that we shouldn’t see each other as I’ve got an impression that he isn’t serious, and I am looking for a serious relationship. I’ve got no answer from him, and it has been 3 days since it happened.
I feel that there could be a future there, as we both want a serious relationship. He isn’t a womanizer either. He is too shy for a womanizer, and he can’t even joke or entertain. Ironically, now he is not online any longer.
May be, as I met him during his first week in this agency, he though he could try some more girls before making a final decision. I am not talking about sex, may be he just wanted some more dates... And it’s an expensive dating agency. Moreover, he has got a 1-year contract there. As well as me.
What do you think? I don’t want to text him first. What do you think happened here? Shyness or lack of interest? Thanks in advance.
Don't kid yourself. Just because a guy is shy that does not hint as to what is going through his head. If he is still looking then don't hold your breath. Also don't go crazy with being over flattering. This guys has just come out of a 12 year relationship. It has only been 5 months. He is likely just sampling the options out there. He has 12 years of history with someone else. To be honest I would not be surprised if he was not just using you for practice. Don't let his lack of words fool you. Also if he called off a date beacuse someone was not attractive enough ... he is not at shy as you think.
Also on behalf of all women ... if a guy is not great in bed ... well dont go giving him a false impression. You are building up his ego just so he can kick you to the curb when he starts to think he is hot stuff.
Yeah, sounds like after sleeping with you he got the confidence he needed to play the field. I'm sorry sweetie but I don't see it working out. But don't worry, there are other men out there. And life is too short for ho-hum sex with men who give mixed messages. You need a gentleman who will make love to you properly and says what he means.
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They know you can see what they're doing, so they may be using this technique to send you a message.
He is too shy to be a womanizer ... lol
