Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think you are being very foolish. On one hand you would be furious if your husband did this to you, but you insist that you haven't crossed any line. If that were true, you would shrug it off as his wife.
I believe the others have it right and he is enjoying the flattery and flirting from you. Maybe it has been a long time since he felt attractive and appreciated. You could be a great person and he might be genuinely interested in you as the new love of his life. It's really unprofessional for your personal trainer to get involved with you like that, because consciously or subconsciously it exploits his position as mentor and your vulnerability. People fall in love with their therapists, nurses, doctors, and teachers all the time (hero/mentor/savior), and it's unethical for them to date. I would get a new trainer and tell this one to sort out his home life first. If he does get a divorce, he's going to need some time to heal from it.
I meant if I was actually with my husband at the time this was happening I wouldn't be very happy, but they aren't together!
Maybe he is enjoying it and that is all it is, but its a bit far to go for a bit of flattery and attention. I didn't start up the flirting, he did. I'm not a bad person and I wouldn't intentionally be in this position. It is unprofessional but I don't mind it as it's not hurting me, it's really nice of him to care so much.
He is resisting you as best as he can. Ask him why?
I'm worried that I'm wrong and he isn't resisting me he's just not into me in that way, I don't want to cause the friendship to be awkward or look stupid myself.
I meant if I was actually with my husband at the time this was happening I wouldn't be very happy, but they aren't together!
Maybe he is enjoying it and that is all it is, but its a bit far to go for a bit of flattery and attention. I didn't start up the flirting, he did. I'm not a bad person and I wouldn't intentionally be in this position. It is unprofessional but I don't mind it as it's not hurting me, it's really nice of him to care so much.
That's because none of this is your fault....it's his!
The sad truth is that you won't even be able to remain "friends" with him because of the feelings you two have shared and the fact that you crossed the line into an emotional affair with "long hugs."
This will need to be an "all or nothing" situation, and both will hurt for a while.
Hint: You need to choose "nothing" right now because there is no going forward with him that won't end painfully.
That is so upsetting, that I couldn't remain friends with him. Even if I shut my feelings off and if he never had any feelings for me could we not be friends then?
That is so upsetting, that I couldn't remain friends with him. Even if I shut my feelings off and if he never had any feelings for me could we not be friends then?
In my experience, it is difficult if not impossible to "shut off" feelings.
It's pretty clear to me that he does have feelings, but the problem is they aren't healthy feelings.
I meant if I was actually with my husband at the time this was happening I wouldn't be very happy, but they aren't together!
Maybe he is enjoying it and that is all it is, but its a bit far to go for a bit of flattery and attention. I didn't start up the flirting, he did. I'm not a bad person and I wouldn't intentionally be in this position. It is unprofessional but I don't mind it as it's not hurting me, it's really nice of him to care so much.
By your own admission, you don't know whether or not they are together.
If he is the one who started the flirting, there's an even bigger probability you are getting played.
I'm worried that I'm wrong and he isn't resisting me he's just not into me in that way, I don't want to cause the friendship to be awkward or look stupid myself.
Long hugs (aka cuddles), wine, and "I wish I could kiss you" are not things friends do. He doesn't sound like he is trying to cheer up his little sister.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
