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OP, if you have some type of physical injury or condition that affects your gait and your perceptions then you are facing more of a challenge than those who are shy and introverted. Lots of good generic advice here, but it's all really a series of shots in the dark. None of us know the extent of your limitations, and just as well we don't know what strengths you possess that you can use or build on. Are there support groups for people who have your type of disability? I would think talking to people with similar challenges might be your best option.
Not only that, but apparently labeling these women as "not nice" because they don't automatically respond to him the way he would like them to.
Yeah, I'll actually direct it this way to the OP: as an introvert, how do you react when a total stranger walks up to you and tries to engage you in conversation without an obvious reason? Because if I'm not in the mood to talk, I'm pretty much looking for the right time to say "no, thank you" and walk away the second someone gets in my little bubble. And I'm probably one of the nicest, most polite people you'd ever meet.
Yeah, I'll actually direct it this way to the OP: as an introvert, how do you react when a total stranger walks up to you and tries to engage you in conversation without an obvious reason?
Not just as an introvert. I am not an introvert. I have had many, many men approach me cold to ask me out then proceed to FLIP **** when I politely say no. They did everything from accost me about whether or not I had a boyfriend, and, if not, why I would not go out with them, to follow me. It is serious creep-ville.
Not only that, but apparently labeling these women as "not nice" because they don't automatically respond to him the way he would like them to.
It's not just women I was cold-approaching -- it also happened on actual dates I was able to get in the past when I was still trying OLD. You are certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter, but I stand by what I said when I mentioned that the women were decidedly not nice, as there is really no other way for me to describe it. If you're on a date with someone and they show zero interest, zero enthusiasm, even zero basic human friendliness (even when you are fully 100% respectful and treat them warmly), both verbally and non-verbally as I described in an earlier post, how else would you describe it?
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 11-22-2016 at 05:42 PM..
Yeah, I'll actually direct it this way to the OP: as an introvert, how do you react when a total stranger walks up to you and tries to engage you in conversation without an obvious reason? Because if I'm not in the mood to talk, I'm pretty much looking for the right time to say "no, thank you" and walk away the second someone gets in my little bubble. And I'm probably one of the nicest, most polite people you'd ever meet.
I would be very pleased, even flattered and quite delighted, if a stranger came up to me and talked in a nice, friendly, and respectful manner, if they were trying to engage in some pleasant conversation.
First of all, do you live in America or abroad? Because foreigners approach women totally different, IMO. Like, Europeans will just aggressively hit on women and think it's no big deal. When you say you've approached thousands of women, that confused me when you said you were shy.
Second of all, how are you approaching them? (You may have already said, but I didn't read the whole thread.)
Third of all, ignore all of the women's responses. The ones I've read so far are all offended that guys are hitting on women and want them to respond. Most women will be like "why don't you just become friends with us?" It's like "yeah, none of us guys are looking for women to be friends with." They don't get that, which is why you ignore their advice on relationships.
I live in the U.S. I have approached ladies both by (formerly and up until very recently) using online dating, also some cold-approaching IRL I guess you could call it as recently as a few years ago. Since I have given up on OLD, I am trying to resume approaching and/or getting to know women IRL, fully outside of OLD (since you can also of course technically have a meeting IRL with someone from OLD as well).
It's not just women I was cold-approaching -- it also happened on actual dates I was able to get in the past when I was still trying OLD. You are certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter, but I stand by what I said when I mentioned that the women were decidedly not nice, as there is really no other way for me to describe it. If you're on a date with someone and they show zero interest, zero enthusiasm, even zero basic human friendliness (even when you are fully 100% respectful and treat them warmly), both verbally and non-verbally as I described in an earlier post, how else would you describe it?
If you are getting them to the point of going out with you, but then they act cold once they meet you, then there is something about you that is turning them off. Either that, or there is something wrong with your ability to discern decent women.
I live in the U.S. I have approached ladies both by (formerly and up until very recently) using online dating, also some cold-approaching IRL I guess you could call it as recently as a few years ago. Since I have given up on OLD, I am trying to resume approaching and/or getting to know women IRL, fully outside of OLD (since you can also of course technically have a meeting IRL with someone from OLD as well).
Unless you are exceptionally good looking and have a truly engaging personality, cold approaching is going to be extremely low percentage.
Based on the way you have described yourself, there is pretty much no way cold approaching is going to work for you.
I would be very pleased, even flattered and quite delighted, if a stranger came up to me and talked in a nice, friendly, and respectful manner, if they were trying to engage in some pleasant conversation.
I think most people prefer to be left alone when they are just out and about.
Unless you are exceptionally good looking and have a truly engaging personality, cold approaching is going to be extremely low percentage.
Based on the way you have described yourself, there is pretty much no way cold approaching is going to work for you.
If cold-approaching is not going to be an effective method as you have mentioned above, and if it turns out that I don't have any luck trying to meet single women by continuing to try out group-based and other meetup-style events, are there any other suggestions you might have for trying to get to know women in a group setting please? I know others have provided some helpful advice earlier on in the thread on this, but tbh I am not really that optimistic that meet-up events are going to be any better, since every time I have tried them in the past, nothing positive ever happened. That's why I ended up trying OLD, which was ultimately a disaster and which is why I have given up on it. In group settings, I find that I am usually the person no one wants to talk to, even when I try myself to engage people in conversations (I get one-word or one-sentence answers, and then people always turn their attention elsewhere, which is why group settings have been very discouraging thus far for me)
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