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Hi, since I am an introverted person who is also shy, does anyone have any thoughts or advice on how would be the best way to get over feelings of shyness, and especially the fear of rejection? I have received rejections from ladies that I have approached romantically pretty much 99%+ of the time...and so far, each and every rejection has hurt, a lot All in all total, I think I've literally received a total of somewhere between hundreds to up to a thousand or more rejections, and so it can be rather hard not take them at least a little to heart in a hurtful way, and also result in massive feelings of failure, for me on a personal level. The mass-rejections have also made me more reluctant to approach new women b/c of the fear that it will only lead to yet another rejection. I have always treated the ladies I have approached 100% respectfully, have really tried my very best to be genuinely nice and kind (and not in a fake way) to them, and tbh and fwiw, I am above-average in the looks dept., but even that doesn't seem to help at all The extremely rare, very very few, and only ~1% or less of women that I was actually able to attract romantically only ended up turning out to be emotionally and verbally abusive, thus far anyway. Any advice please?
How have you received possibly 1000 rejections? Can't imagine these are quality approaches. Perhaps you should start with who you're approaching, and why. Is this spamming hundreds of women with "hi" on a dating site?
How have you received possibly 1000 rejections? Can't imagine these are quality approaches. Perhaps you should start with who you're approaching, and why. Is this spamming hundreds of women with "hi" on a dating site?
The up to a thousand rejections has been over the course of my life so far, both online and offline. When I have approached women online such as on dating sites, I have tried to engage them in pleasant conversation and tried to say things that to pique their interest in terms of leading to further conversation, not just a simple "hi" response, for example. I have actually given up on online dating, but trying to meet women IRL like I'm doing now can sometimes be even harder b/c of the shyness factor.
How do you approach women in real life? Do you get to know them first and then gauge interest in going out with you? Do you walk up to complete strangers and ask them out?
How do you approach women in real life? Do you get to know them first and then gauge interest in going out with you? Do you walk up to complete strangers and ask them out?
Well I've tried going to group events, church activities, and meet-ups, things like that, but since I don't really know anyone there to begin with, it can be incredibly hard to know what to say in the first place, to make an initial acquaintance or get to know them. Since up until relatively recently most of my interactions with women has been online, the last time a few years ago and now at present, in the post-online dating world, women never really seemed to express an interest that I could detect, and even if they had, it would be incredibly hard to me to tell b/c I am terrible at reading body language. The only thing that has been a sure thing in terms of a positive tip-off to me of meaningful interest has mostly been verbal cues, but realistically, I know that most of the time, ladies will much more likely to express their interest non-verbally than verbally. But to answer your question, the last time up until now, post-OLD, that I tried to approach women on a large-scale basis off-line a few years ago was unsuccessful, b/c women would tell me things like "Let's just be friends", "I don't feel any chemistry", "I see you as a brother", etc. -- and that's even if I was lucky enough to actually get them to go out with me.
I have received rejections from ladies that I have approached romantically pretty much 99%+ of the time...and so far, each and every rejection has hurt, a lot All in all total, I think I've literally received a total of somewhere between hundreds to up to a thousand or more rejections
Perhaps you are expecting too much!
How about NOT 'approaching romantically' (whatever that means), and simply interact as a fellow human being?
And please quit seeing non-reciprocation as rejection. So dramatic and unnecessary.
Perhaps you are expecting too much! How about NOT 'approaching romantically' (whatever that means), and simply interact as a fellow human being?
And please quit seeing non-reciprocation as rejection. So dramatic and unnecessary.
When I've tried the above suggested approach before, I've found it's virtually impossible to advance beyond friendship, and not be friend-zoned. Because of this and because "friends first" has never worked for me, I have only attempted to approach women upfront in a way that expresses interest much more in a romantic way, not in a "friend" way b/c of not wanting to relegated to the friend zone.
Because of this and because "friends first" has never worked for me, I have only attempted to approach women upfront in a way that expresses interest much more in a romantic way, not in a "friend" way b/c of not wanting to relegated to the friend zone.
Neither approach has worked or been effective, for me. I'm just not sure how to arrange the approach you had suggested without the option of a relationship being an almost-100% certainty. While it is definitely nice to have friends, including female friends, what I'm ultimately looking for is a girlfriend, not a friend.
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All in all total, I think I've literally received a total of somewhere between hundreds to up to a thousand or more rejections, and so it can be rather hard not take them at least a little to heart in a hurtful way, and also result in massive feelings of failure, for me on a personal level. The mass-rejections have also made me more reluctant to approach new women b/c of the fear that it will only lead to yet another rejection. I have always treated the ladies I have approached 100% respectfully, have really tried my very best to be genuinely nice and kind (and not in a fake way) to them, and tbh and fwiw, I am above-average in the looks dept., but even that doesn't seem to help at all 
