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Everyone deserves to be respected as a fellow person. If these are your co-workers then they are your peers in the office, age aside. If you express an opinion that appears contrarian the natural inclination may be for any person to defend their way of doing things. So my suggestion would be as you get to know new people, it is best to interject at more agreeable times until everyone feels more comfortable with each other.
As far as how to make people respect you? Respect yourself - I mean innately. The vibe someone with low self-esteem gives off is pretty easy to pick sometimes consciously sometimes unconsciously especially when people are jockeying for position in the work place.
i don't put myself out there. i never talk at meetings, i do my job ask questions and go about my day... ppl at my work LOVE to gossup and complain about their problems and i try to stay away. me wanting respect is because they treat me like their kids. not as a fellow co-worker. they ***** about how their kids don't make their own bed and i'll say i don't make my bed and they will say you should. im like i am an adult im married. i provide for myself you have your own opinion and i have mine don't try to parent me
I'm reading the different posts as I go along, so I will probably comment on more than one.
NEVER tell these people you don't make your bed. In fact, don't tell them anything about your personal life. Don't give them anything to chew on.
NEVER tell these people you don't make your bed. In fact, don't tell them anything about your personal life. Don't give them anything to chew on.
Precisely. These sorts of people who run the gossip mill will take just about *anything* they can and run with it. Unfortunate, but even that sort of comment will come back to bite you in the butt.
Do your job, be confident in yourself, and DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, show any sort of weakness to these sorts of people. It's a predatory mentality.
At the end of the day, will they "respect" you? Who knows. But, at least you'll not have given them any fodder for their rumor mill.
Maybe its because (as I mentioned above, being a bit of a narcissist) I'm always right, but I would take it as disrespect as well.
An example. For the work I do, I deal with AutoCAD. I've been using it since I was about 12, programming since 8yrs old, and only touched a real PC for the first time when I was 8. Suffice it to say I have more years of experience behind a keyboard than many adults, without the years of a "career" to prove it.
So, in one meeting there was a problem with production brought up by a partner. I brought up how we can do things differently, making everyone's life easier, if we did x, y, and z (which is the modern way of doing things). The older people in the group said no, that doesn't work, we've tried it before, so on.
Now since I'm not only stubborn, but also Always Right, I had a job where I was running the discipline, and a partner who knew I know what I'm talking about was in charge of the project. I explained what I would like to do, and he let me break the rules. What was estimated to take 50-60 hours took 28.5 (actual logged time). Now, the company is trying to figure out how to incorporate these modern methods into their standards.
Did I take a risk? Sure, if it didn't work out, it would have blown up in my face. But, I gained respect by doing it, having been given permission to "experiment" by a partner, and it worked out beautifully.
In other words, just because "experience" tells an older group of workers it won't work, that doesn't mean that it won't. New things happen all the time, and an older group of workers tend to hold on to the way they do things - "Its how we've always done it. It works." Thats a mindset that stagnates, and doesn't improve the bottom line. Sometimes, its worth it to let the younger crowd take the risk - just make sure they know the risk is their own
I agree. I work in a law firm that is primarily comprised of male lawyers who have a minimum 30 years experience. Then, there are those of us who are female or without 30+ years experience or both. The younger lawyers are sharper and have more innovative ways to try cases. The older lawyers are stuck in a time warp and use the same old tricks. Never anything new. No fresh ideas. Their "my way or the highway" attitude gets pretty old. These people are doing a disservice to the clients. Some of the cases do not have the favorable outcome that should have been if only a new tactic or new strategy were employed.
You said you do not talk at meetings. Start, and when you do STAND UP. Yes, even if no one else does. If interrupted, kindly but firmly say only,"excuse me".
Never share you personal life, ever. Also, do not listen to theirs. Do not complain unless you are willing to put it in writing, then do so.
First of all who cares if these people are older. It doesn't mean they are wise or good. They could be washed up alcoholics or washed up over eaters.
Maybe these Old people need to earn her respect?
Either way at a profession you need to be treated with a level of respect and dignity. That means you have the right to be instructed and trained in your profession, not treated like a child or like dirt. YOu don't have to really "earn" it. We live in America not Soviet Russia! When people say you have to "earn" or command respect, that means don't go about treating people like garbage or demanding things from them because you could get disrespected back. That is what that really means. Be respectful to others and you should get respect back. If others are not respectful back to you, then that is a big fault on their part.
I remember I was in a class where I was coming to class, meeting all the requirements, and making A's in this class. The professor was still very rude and treated me like dirt. She was only about 5 years older than I. But still I reported her in writing and her dumb behavior stopped. She started smilling and waving and treating me well after that. It was hiliarious how her behavior changed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Driller1
You said you do not talk at meetings. Start, and when you do STAND UP. Yes, even if no one else does. If interrupted, kindly but firmly say only,"excuse me".
Never share you personal life, ever. Also, do not listen to theirs. Do not complain unless you are willing to put it in writing, then do so.
You do not have to try THAT hard if you don't want to. Just do your job and be respectful. If the atmosphere is abusive find another job. Your sanity is worth more than a few extra dollars here and there. I am pretty sure Anti-depressants and counseling bills are expensive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Driller1
You said you do not talk at meetings. Start, and when you do STAND UP. Yes, even if no one else does. If interrupted, kindly but firmly say only,"excuse me".
Never share you personal life, ever. Also, do not listen to theirs. Do not complain unless you are willing to put it in writing, then do so.
I remember I was in a class where I was coming to class, meeting all the requirements, and making A's in this class. The professor was still very rude and treated me like dirt. She was only about 5 years older than I. But still I reported her in writing and her dumb behavior stopped. She started smilling and waving and treating me well after that. It was hiliarious how her behavior changed.
Being in school is a heck of a lot different than the "real world".
I'm sure you'll find that one out quick enough in a couple of years...
Not at all, just speaking from the perspective of someone with a *bit* more experience about these things.
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