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the problem was back in the day, men were judged for money and women for looks
now men get judged for looks/fitness level and money/accomplishments/success while women still only get judged for looks
I don't really care, I'm very strong in all the areas discussed but it's just another way dating is easier for women.
It sounds like you are attracting the wrong kind of woman for you. I had the same problem with men when I was dating. It takes a while to hone in on how to attract what kind of mate you want. If it's online you might need to change your profile and profile pictures or if it's in person, you might need to change the venue you liar to find women (or approach a different kind of woman).
it tells you (or can tell you) all you might want to know.
That YOU don't care or care about OTHER things doesn't make it invalid.
My point is someone without money can charge up a bunch of credit cards to achieve a look while someone with money might be more practical and frugal. If you ever read the book "The millionaire next door," for example the #1 watch bought by millionaires is Timex, the #1 car is Toyota.
My point is that no matter what is said in a forum like this one...
SOMEONE will take umbrage that what is generally true doesn't apply to them in particular.
It gets old.
My point is that no matter what is said in a forum like this one...
SOMEONE will take umbrage that what is generally true doesn't apply to them in particular.
It gets old.
Well, I suppose it gets old, but it is true. Generalizations rarely apply to everyone and are often stereotypes or exaggerations, even if they aren't meant to be. So there is always someone to chime it that it doesn't apply to them. But I'm not saying something doesn't apply to me with that statement, I'm saying no one can really know for sure what a person's profession is or how much money they have by looking at someone and how they present themselves. People exaggerate their wealth all the time and others understate it just as much. Assuming the guy with the BMW has more money than the guy with the Toyota is assuming a lot and is naive.
For a decade I worked as a brewer. I didn't make much money, but I had a nice, if modest, house in a great location, reliable transportation, nice furnishings (I collected oriental rugs, rare books, and antique furniture), lots of hobbies like hand woodworking, hiking, skiing, and traveling internationally almost every year. And I was just pretty happy with my career and life overall.
I like to think my satisfaction gave me confidence and made me attractive to women. Being in the food and beverage industry I was surrounded by many young, single, and attractive women, so I dated a fair bit and had several relationships of various lengths over this period in my (mostly) young adulthood.
Of the relationships that ended on 'her terms', that is to say against my will, about 4 out of 5 were due to the fact that I was making well under $50k/year. One memorable breakup terminated with her saying that 'I would never be able to buy her a new car at this rate'. After 6 months of dating this woman and inviting her to live with me, rent free, for 4 of those months because she was job-hopping, I told her to just pack her things and get out.
Other potential LTR were a little more tactful merely stateling my 'lack of success and/or' ambition' which I found insulting since I was content and not hurting for much, just not living in luxury.
Sadly, I think many are taught that a life partner equals an entitlement to a free (or at least subsidised) economic lifestyle. On the other hand I have also been in a relationship with a woman who made 6 figures and felt like a kept man. Did not like that at all. I just want to find a happy medium of mutual resect for whe we are as people rather than how much money we each make. Hard to do in a materialistic society with a media and popular culture that pummels the idea of 'wealth=happiness/virtue' down our throats.
<Edit> Just to be fair, I have my own compatibility requirements and have broken up with women for reasons that may seem petty or picky. I am not claiming to be perfect or some victim. I am something of a minimalist/clutter-hater and have dumped women after seeing their living space. I have specific taste in how my enviroment looks. I also dumped women over lack of intellectual curiosity (though never over level of education). I have to admit my own faults.
Last edited by ABQConvict; 01-02-2017 at 10:01 AM..
Where have you been dude men get judged more harshly for everything period. The U.S. is a gynocentric society partially due to the rabid feminist movement.
This is definitely the case in more elite circles such as West and East Coast cities. It doesn't appear to be the case elsewhere. When I visit my parents' blue collar town, I see attractive young women with marginally employed guys who drive lifted F-150 trucks.
For a decade I worked as a brewer. I didn't make much money, but I had a nice, if modest, house in a great location, reliable transportation, nice furnishings (I collected oriental rugs, rare books, and antique furniture), lots of hobbies like hand woodworking, hiking, skiing, and traveling internationally almost every year. And I was just pretty happy with my career and life overall.
I like to think my satisfaction gave me confidence and made me attractive to women. Being in the food and beverage industry I was surrounded by many young, single, and attractive women, so I dated a fair bit and had several relationships of various lengths over this period in my (mostly) young adulthood.
Of the relationships that ended on 'her terms', that is to say against my will, about 4 out of 5 were due to the fact that I was making well under $50k/year. One memorable breakup terminated with her saying that 'I would never be able to buy her a new car at this rate'. After 6 months of dating this woman and inviting her to live with me, rent free, for 4 of those months because she was job-hopping, I told her to just pack her things and get out.
Other potential LTR were a little more tactful merely stateling my 'lack of success and/or' ambition' which I found insulting since I was content and not hurting for much, just not living in luxury.
Sadly, I think many are taught that a life partner equals an entitlement to a free (or at least subsidised) economic lifestyle. On the other hand I have also been in a relationship with a woman who made 6 figures and felt like a kept man. Did not like that at all. I just want to find a happy medium of mutual resect for whe we are as people rather than how much money we each make. Hard to do in a materialistic society with a media and popular culture that pummels the idea of 'wealth=happiness/virtue' down our throats.
<Edit> Just to be fair, I have my own compatibility requirements and have broken up with women for reasons that may seem petty or picky. I am not claiming to be perfect or some victim. I am something of a minimalist/clutter-hater and have dumped women after seeing their living space. I have specific taste in how my environment looks. I also dumped women over lack of intellectual curiosity (though never over level of education). I have to admit my own faults.
Is that a fault? I've stopped seeing men for similar reasons. I don't consider it a fault. You like what you like. If an individual is not compatible for whatever reason, no matter how "picky," then they simply aren't compatible. Having a great intellectual connection is important to some people.
My husband had similar experiences in the past. He lived a very minimalist lifestyle. He hadn't owned a car in a decade, rode his bike or took transportation, and made a very modest income at the time we met. He had just moved back into the area and was getting situated. Being 35 and making, at the time, less than $25k. He had no debt, very little bills, loved his work (passion), worked part time hours, and had time a lot of free time. His lack of corporate or white collar career ambition was definitely an issue for many when he was dating. He could sense their interest change the moment work was brought up (on first dates), or when he stated he rode his bike.
He loves what he does, and he affords him the free time to enjoy other aspects of his life. We're both in fields that we enjoy, but don't necessarily bring in big salaries.
Men aren't bothered about a womans income really beyond being able to pay her own way. It's low down on list of requirements.
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