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The funny (yet unsurprising) thing in this thread is that most guys aren't understanding this very important piece: the fact that he wanted to go Dutch was not the problem. The problem was the way he handled the planning of the date coupled with the gesture to the waitress. It's not the explicit action, it was what the action revealed about the type of person he is. There are easy ways to plan dates so that you are forced to go Dutch or where the tab will be relatively small. He failed to do that, planned the date, and then asked for separate checks upfront. That's sending pretty mixed messages, and he was trying to be slick IMO. And add in the fact that he didn't walk her to her car. I can't recall a date I've had where the guy didn't walk me to my car.
The funny (yet unsurprising) thing in this thread is that most guys aren't understanding this very important piece: the fact that he wanted to go Dutch was not the problem. The problem was the way he handled the planning of the date coupled with the gesture to the waitress. It's not the explicit action, it was what the action revealed about the type of person he is. There are easy ways to plan dates so that you are forced to go Dutch or where the tab will be relatively small. He failed to do that, planned the date, and then asked for separate checks upfront. That's sending pretty mixed messages, and he was trying to be slick IMO. And add in the fact that he didn't walk her to her car. I can't recall a date I've had where the guy didn't walk me to my car.
This is 2016, and women and men are equal. Since we only have one side of the story, It's silly to paint this guy as being this or sending that. We were't there and the fact that OP mentions that she probably makes more $ than him and feel like she needed to mention the exact change of her meal is kind of a red flag.
We also weren't there for the various stories about men in here paying for dinners and then getting ghosted because "she was using me for a free meal" and yet you guys have no problem believing those....
There are a couple of things wrong with that sentence.
Haha nice catch. Regardless, do you want special treatment or equal treatment? Seems to me we should change the norms more inline with other countries. This whole man pays for all the dates, meals, presents, etc is a leftover from an era when most women were housewives. I paid for MANY free meals and dates for women only to go nowhere. Then I decided to go dutch on everything and met the love of my life. She doesn't care about money and even helped pay the bills when I was out of work. IMO women that expect to be catered to and pampered will split at the first sign of financial trouble. That said if a guy is rich and wants a trophy wife around and can afford it, to each their own.
This is 2016, and women and men are equal. Since we only have one side of the story, It's silly to paint this guy as being this or sending that. We were't there and the fact that OP mentions that she probably makes more $ than him and feel like she needed to mention the exact change of her meal is kind of a red flag.
Oh really? Well, I can break it down even further for you because I still have the receipt! My food was $10.99 and my drink was $7.75. I finished the drink, but I left a lot of the food on the plate because I didn't particularly like it. I'm not one to clear my plate anyway though, so it's not really unusual for me. Do you think he was more justified in asking for separate checks since I barely ate the food?
This is 2016, and women and men are equal. Since we only have one side of the story, It's silly to paint this guy as being this or sending that. We were't there and the fact that OP mentions that she probably makes more $ than him and feel like she needed to mention the exact change of her meal is kind of a red flag.
Men and women have never been, and never will be EQUAL. Many men hear a woman say that she wants equal treatment, and interpret that to mean that she wants to be the same. That's incorrect. We are equal in value, but certainly we are NOT the same.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 01-08-2017 at 12:32 PM..
Haha nice catch. Regardless, do you want special treatment or equal treatment? Seems to me we should change the norms more inline with other countries. This whole man pays for all the dates, meals, presents, etc is a leftover from an era when most women were housewives. I paid for MANY free meals and dates for women only to go nowhere. Then I decided to go dutch on everything and met the love of my life. She doesn't care about money and even helped pay the bills when I was out of work. IMO women that expect to be catered to and pampered will split at the first sign of financial trouble. That said if a guy is rich and wants a trophy wife around and can afford it, to each their own.
If a man asks me out, I hope he thinks I'm special. Otherwise, why is he asking me out?
Oh really? Well, I can break it down even further for you because I still have the receipt! My food was $10.99 and my drink was $7.75. I finished the drink, but I left a lot of the food on the plate because I didn't particularly like it. I'm not one to clear my plate anyway though, so it's not really unusual for me. Do you think he was more justified in asking for separate checks since I barely ate the food?
Why didn't you offer to pay the tab instead since you make more money? I don't know why how much you ate has anything to do with how much he should pay.
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