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That actually isn't clearly the case. You're conflating actions with orientation and attraction. They're not synonymous.
I'm not, in fact I said its feelings/attraction that matter not actions. If she is attracted to and desires this woman physically she is bi, period. If she felt attraction but never acts on it, she's bi; if she has sex with her partner but really doesn't feel physical desire for her because she's a woman, she's not bi. So you see actions don't matter at all.
I have a lot of friends who have messed around with/slept with around with another girl just to see what it was like.
I am kinda curious but don't know if I could actually do it. I wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship with a girl though. I've never felt any "romantic' feelings to a girl. It's like I'm just physically curious what it would be like. I might not even like it, who knows
If I had to have a 3some, I would prefer it be with a guy and another girl vs two guys.
Sexuality isn't black and white, so I am not surprised.
I recently read an article that stated more and more straight women are open to sleeping with other women. It also mentioned that the older women (45-60) are even more open to it. Has anyone experienced or find that be true?
I saw something like this on Facebook recently, but about men and how it was called "Bud Sex" or something like that. It was described basically as "a friend helping a friend out" and the guys they talk to who partake in this said they "hate f*ggits" (no offense, just quoting the article)
In my opinion gay is gay
If one of my homeboys needs a favor like helping him move to a new place, needs money (case by case scenario) or just needs somebody to talk to when he's going through something, like a true bro I'll have his back. But sexual stuff? Nah , either go to a bar and pick a girl up or find an escort if you're feeling that needy
Straight women appreciate the female body more than straight men appreciate the male body. It takes more effort for women to be satisfied, so they may be more inclined to seek out new stimuli. Men can have their needs met more easily, so there's no need to step out of the box as much.
Yeah, I thought that's why the term "bi-curious" came into use.
Exactly. But, according to some people, since everything and everyone has to have a label and everything has to be strictly defined, such a term doesn't truly exist. I don't understand why it's such a hard concept to some..maybe it's a generational thing.
Bi-curious is probably the most apt label I would give myself. I have only had hetero encounters. I'm in a monogamous hetero relationship, married close to 14 years. He still rings my bell sexually and that will never change. I don't lust after women as I do men. At the same time, I wouldn't object to an encounter with a woman (i.e. a threesome). I'd be curious, just as I would with any sexual experience that isn't totally out there. To me, it's no different than trying something new or a sexual fantasy and nothing more. Hell, I may not even care for a repeat encounter and a woman touching me in a sexual manner may or may not excite me. I just don't know one way or the other as I've never had a sexual encounter with a woman. I may never, who knows.
If there are "degrees of bisexuality" then what's wrong with saying that there's different degrees of "straight"? Why do people have to be pigeonholed when it comes to race, sexuality, or anything? People should identify as they wish, technical definitions be damned.
Exactly. But, according to some people, since everything and everyone has to have a label and everything has to be strictly defined, such a term doesn't truly exist. I don't understand why it's such a hard concept to some..maybe it's a generational thing.
Bi-curious is probably the most apt label I would give myself. I have only had hetero encounters. I'm in a monogamous hetero relationship, married close to 14 years. He still rings my bell sexually and that will never change. I don't lust after women as I do men. At the same time, I wouldn't object to an encounter with a woman (i.e. a threesome). I'd be curious, just as I would with any sexual experience that isn't totally out there. To me, it's no different than trying something new or a sexual fantasy and nothing more. Hell, I may not even care for a repeat encounter and a woman touching me in a sexual manner may or may not excite me. I just don't know one way or the other as I've never had a sexual encounter with a woman. I may never, who knows.
If there are "degrees of bisexuality" then what's wrong with saying that there's different degrees of "straight"? Why do people have to be pigeonholed when it comes to race, sexuality, or anything? People should identify as they wish, technical definitions be damned.
Sorry, there are actual definitions straight means very literally attraction to opposite sex exclusively. . Gay means exclusively attracted to the same sex. Bi means aroused by both sexes, even if one arouses you more than another ("bi" IMO is fluid, unlike gay and straight)
Bi-curious is no different. If you want to experiment because you feel aroused by the thought of sex with a woman you are bi, not bi-curious. If you choose to act on those feelings to see what it is like, that could be called bi-curious. If you engage in it because your bf onvinces you it'll be great or you want to be thought of as cool, but you do not feel attraction or arousal to the girl or thought of the girl, you are straight even if you engaged in the sex act.
The terms apply to who you feel sexually attracted to, not who you have sex with. A porn star who has sex with 1000 women but doesn't feel aroused during any of it because she's only aroused by men, is straight and sex with 1000 women does not change that.
It's not a label, it's a definition.
Do you actually believe a woman who lives with, desires and has sex with and is in love with another woman is not bi? She "identifies" as straight, so she is? C'mon.
How does this pigeonhole anyone anymore than in my earlier example, saying a Chinese woman is Chinese pigeonholes her? It just is, it's not a judgement in any way.
Exactly. But, according to some people, since everything and everyone has to have a label and everything has to be strictly defined, such a term doesn't truly exist. I don't understand why it's such a hard concept to some..maybe it's a generational thing.
Bi-curious is probably the most apt label I would give myself. I have only had hetero encounters. I'm in a monogamous hetero relationship, married close to 14 years. He still rings my bell sexually and that will never change. I don't lust after women as I do men. At the same time, I wouldn't object to an encounter with a woman (i.e. a threesome). I'd be curious, just as I would with any sexual experience that isn't totally out there. To me, it's no different than trying something new or a sexual fantasy and nothing more. Hell, I may not even care for a repeat encounter and a woman touching me in a sexual manner may or may not excite me. I just don't know one way or the other as I've never had a sexual encounter with a woman. I may never, who knows.
If there are "degrees of bisexuality" then what's wrong with saying that there's different degrees of "straight"? Why do people have to be pigeonholed when it comes to race, sexuality, or anything? People should identify as they wish, technical definitions be damned.
Same. I've never been attracted to women, but I suppose if I were single and the opportunity arose, I'd give it a whirl just to see what it's like. Though I'd probably be horrible at it and get black-balled by Sisters in Sappho.
Do you actually believe a woman who lives with, desires and has sex with and is in love with another woman is not bi? She "identifies" as straight, so she is? C'mon.
Language (including definitions such as straight, gay, bi etc etc.) is a social construct. Of course what people feel, how they actually identify, matters. Who am I to tell my friend that she's not straight because she's attracted to ONE woman? Maybe she isn't straight or bi at all. Maybe she's heteroflexible. Or supersexual. Or ambisexual. Perhaps androgynosexual! Pansexual! Or polysexual?
Language (including definitions such as straight, gay, bi etc etc.) is a social construct. Of course what people feel, how they actually identify, matters. Who am I to tell my friend that she's not straight because she's attracted to ONE woman? Maybe she isn't straight or bi at all. Maybe she's heteroflexible. Or supersexual. Or ambisexual. Perhaps androgynosexual! Pansexual! Or polysexual?
You know, Gays fought for years to have it be accepted that gay is a state they were BORN to be and not a "social construct" (which implies there's a choice to follow it, or not), and IMO you are denigrating all they fought for by implying it's a choice and not biology. I feel like some here are taking a situation that actually causes pain for people, this not being able to choose who they feel attracted to, and are making it the new trendy thing, where we all get to "try on" being gay and identify as whatever we feel like at the moment, and IMO it is as wrong as it would be to "try on" being a different race just to see what it's like, and to actually identify as that race when you feel like it, and go back to being Causacian when you don't feel like it anymore. I just find it trivializing. This was the root of the "conversion" argument, that being gay was not about biology but is fluid and changeable. It's not.
Your friend is not straight. Again, the Chinese woman can "identify" as Swedish all she wants, but it doesn't make her Swedish. Why is your friend so reluctant to just say she's bi?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
You know, Gays fought for years to have it be accepted that gay is a state they were BORN to be and not a "social construct" (which implies there's a choice to follow it, or not), and IMO you are denigrating all they fought for by implying it's a choice and not biology. I feel like some here are taking a situation that actually causes pain for people, this not being able to choose who they feel attracted to, and are making it the new trendy thing, where we all get to "try on" being gay and identify as whatever we feel like at the moment, and IMO it is as wrong as it would be to "try on" being a different race just to see what it's like, and to actually identify as that race when you feel like it, and go back to being Causacian when you don't feel like it anymore. I just find it trivializing. This was the root of the "conversion" argument, that being gay was not about biology but is fluid and changeable. It's not.
Your friend is not straight. Again, the Chinese woman can "identify" as Swedish all she wants, but it doesn't make her Swedish. Why is your friend so reluctant to just say she's bi?
It's the term and the categorization that is the social construct (like gender is a social construct), not the sexual orientation (ala biological sex). Not a perfect analogy (none ever are). The who you are attracted to isn't the social construct, the terminology and boxing it into a label and category is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain
Language (including definitions such as straight, gay, bi etc etc.) is a social construct. Of course what people feel, how they actually identify, matters. Who am I to tell my friend that she's not straight because she's attracted to ONE woman? Maybe she isn't straight or bi at all. Maybe she's heteroflexible. Or supersexual. Or ambisexual. Perhaps androgynosexual! Pansexual! Or polysexual?
Yup
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