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Well- OP look at all the positives I've gathered just from just a few short notes you made here- You're a hiker! you have a therapist, you have supportive parents, you have 1/2 equity in a house and you have an excellent writing style- You express yourself very well-I'm sure you can think of many more- just take it slower next time. Most of us have one who got away, one of my favorite songs is Garth Brooks -Thank God for unanswered prayers.
Just so you know when I met my husband 34 years ago he also was freshly totally wiped out in a divorce and had nothing but a few screwdrivers and wrenches-(which he had to fight for). We have made a beautiful family, home and life I'm sure you will to. You certainly don't sound like those other guys on the prison shows- that's for sure. I think you'll be fine good, luck to you.
Her parents told me to leave her alone because they came to her house to comfort her after she read my letter. They saw how upset she was and sent me a text telling me to leave her alone. I wasn't stalking or anything like that. I had only send my gf a couple of texts trying to explain things to her and apologizing.
I did not have to quit claim the house back to my wife because we paid for it with cash. So, I have equity in the house. However, she is unable to buy me out so the judge ruled that she can live there until her daughter turns 18.
I'm doing my jail time as I write this. Getting it done, moving on with my life. I just feel like my gf and I had something really special, that's why it's hard right now.
jail has wifi????
You're 41, too old to have parents calling you...get your own life together.
A mistake is something unintentional. You intentionally broke up with her in a letter, and moved out w/o warning.
Right? A mistake is forgetting to order her an egg roll when they get takeout. It's not cowardly dumping her with a sad sack note and moving out. You made your bed, OP. She knows you want her back, and if she wants to talk, she'll come to you.
It was pathetic. I'll try to remember most of it but I was so emotional when I wrote I barely remember what I said. I'll try to paraphrase what I recall writing:
"Screw it. Everything has come crashing down on me. You deserve better than anything I could ever offer you. We were talking about a future together, marriage, kids. But how can I support a family now that I have nothing. I can't even take care of myself. Good bye."
That was pretty much it. It was fairly short and, like I said, pretty pathetic.
It was an irrational letter written during a moment of emotional distress. I know it's not true because I have good job, I can provide. But, losing my house was just such a heavy blow. I buckled under the pressure. It was terrible, stupid decision to write that letter and I can never take it back.
You didn't lose your house. It's an investment now, not a domicile. In 16 years it will pay for your retirement.
I don't know. I mean, I know I made a huge mistake that hurt her deeply. But, she knows the kind of pressure I was under and I made an irrational decision. Is that unforgivable? Can't she forgive me? She loves me too. She was a planning a life with me and we were happy together, very happy. Why does one mistake have to wipe all that away?
You don't see a pattern here?
Quickie marriage, quickie cohabitation, impulsive breakup, on top of what sounds like a serious DUI (60 days!)
Wow, I would get a new lawyer! I don't understand why your ex gets to keep the house till her daughter is 18 if the child is not yours? Something doesn't seem right! How long were you married???
This happens every day. When a child is involved, they nail the person with the deepest pockets even if it's not their kid and the DNA testing proves it's not their kid.
Yeah. Fortunately I can do my community service at the jail. I've already met with my probation officer and she's really nice. I'm also allowed to leave jail during the day to go to work. I'm keeping my life on track and I'm being positive. I learn from my mistakes. I was sober for 12 years then I fell of the wagon as my marriage fell to pieces. But I'm sober now and plan on staying that way for the rest of my life.
My life isn't a mess, I'm staying on track. But this breakup with my gf is really hitting me hard because I know what we had was real. Every day we don't talk I feel like she's slipping further and further away and it's just really sad.
Your gf was angry because you didn't let HER decide if she wanted to stay with you. You took the decision totally out of her hands rather than deciding LIKE A COUPLE what to do next. I know it was an impulsive move...
I'm glad you are "on track" and you are doing what you know you need to during this stressful time. I guess you were able to keep your job at least? You know you're lucky to only have to be in jail nights and to get to combine comm. service with jail time, etc. - that'll let you start putting this behind you sooner. Stay on the wagon and just keep going...in the future, give the people around you a little more credit before you do something crazy.
You're 41, too old to have parents calling you...get your own life together.
See post 12. Work release.
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