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She seems like a nightmare. Parenting comes first, and anybody with kids gets that, if they're remotely responsible, which doesn't see, to be the case with her.
I have followed all of the advice and deleted her from EVERYTHING! It has generally been me that has reached out to her the last three months & I understand now that I am simply hitting the reset button & hurting both of us more and more.. I know what needs to be done now and I thank you for all your input & time. Hurts like crazy but I know the future would be crazier with her in it. Much love x
For some reason, you like drama. You need to figure out why that is.
She seems like a nightmare. Parenting comes first, and anybody with kids gets that, if they're remotely responsible, which doesn't see, to be the case with her.
100% AGREE!
I mean really, OP you're 42? Seriously? Stop being used and find a decent woman. And you are correct that you should be putting your daughter FIRST! Don't talk to this ex anymore!
Your daughter comes first. Without question. With all the women I've dated, not one of them has met my daughter. I put her first in every situation. Plans with her always come first and if my little girl wants to spend time with me I will break a date with a woman without even hesitating. Never ever put some random woman ahead of your daughter.
I am 43y male and met a beautiful, clever, wonderful 32y 2 years ago that 'got me' in a way no other woman had ever managed before. We shared magical times & both helped each other through similar difficult divorces.. I have a 5 year old daughter and went through a long and arduous legal process at huge emotional and financial cost.
The problems started when I wasn't prepared to compromise my time with my little girl over my girlfriend. I matched our weekends with her children and it worked wonderfully but continual fighting, comparisons of affection, showing too much 'clinginess' to my daughter & fall outs resulted in swapping back the weekends. Don't get me wrong this girl meant the World to me but it seemed unnatural to not devote myself to being the best Dad I could be.. A result of this meant I continually pushed her away and months of falling out and getting back together. It scared me and I never gave her any indication of a future despite her concerns. (Home/marriage/kids!)
Three months ago I found out she had been cheating on me with an old boy friend & although I don't know what happened I am pretty sure they slept together. We broke up for good but I just cannot get this girl out of my head and have returned looking for validation and to try and repair what we had but have simply resulted in hurting myself more... I know she is desperate to be loved and text's/calls me all the time telling me such and I so want to make it work because I fear I will never find that connection again or find a woman that made me tick like her..
I was always faithful to her despite her continual concerns that I was being unfaithful and after reading up about stuff realize she was very codependent insisting on being by her side all the time, keeping in touch via text and calls & frowning on any female interaction from my part.
Here's the best bit....& she told me this! She was straight on Tinder and hooked up with a guy within 5 days and told me filthy intimate things that they did together. She called me last weekend to say she was going for a day out with him but didn't want to & she wanted me. Being a sucker and not wanting anyone else to have her I spent 3 days with her in a vain attempt to try and resolve everything (again!) & again due to me requesting she showed me dozens of intimate messages (some slutty!) shared with her and different men on Facebook & SnapChat. She said she has slept with 2 men since our split but I suspect 4! She also told me she had a sexual experience with one of her girl friends months ago & attacked me one night in a fit of rage! WTF
I know she's doing this to make me feel jealous and simply moving on with her life but I have completely lost my compass & sanity over this. She has more male friends than female, has a colorful sexual past but has said to me if I can make that commitment she will agree to move away. close all her social media down and start a new fresh life with our girls.
I know what the correct answer is here & feel a little embarrassed even posting this but it kind of helps tapping away on these keys getting it all out. I have been ill the last three months since we split, lost weight, been unable to concentrate on my career or family despite looking after myself and doing all the right things.
I know I need to put distance between the two of us & focus on myself but I still keep getting these nagging doubts that I'm losing the best thing that ever happened to me..
Feel a bit of a laughing stock even reading over what I have written but here goes...
No need to read any more- you've probably figured it out. She's basically a ****. Move on and focus on your daughter.
I am 43y male and met a beautiful, clever, wonderful 32y 2 years ago that 'got me' in a way no other woman had ever managed before. We shared magical times & both helped each other through similar difficult divorces.. I have a 5 year old daughter and went through a long and arduous legal process at huge emotional and financial cost.
The problems started when I wasn't prepared to compromise my time with my little girl over my girlfriend. I matched our weekends with her children and it worked wonderfully but continual fighting, comparisons of affection, showing too much 'clinginess' to my daughter & fall outs resulted in swapping back the weekends. Don't get me wrong this girl meant the World to me but it seemed unnatural to not devote myself to being the best Dad I could be.. A result of this meant I continually pushed her away and months of falling out and getting back together. It scared me and I never gave her any indication of a future despite her concerns. (Home/marriage/kids!)
Three months ago I found out she had been cheating on me with an old boy friend & although I don't know what happened I am pretty sure they slept together. We broke up for good but I just cannot get this girl out of my head and have returned looking for validation and to try and repair what we had but have simply resulted in hurting myself more... I know she is desperate to be loved and text's/calls me all the time telling me such and I so want to make it work because I fear I will never find that connection again or find a woman that made me tick like her..
I was always faithful to her despite her continual concerns that I was being unfaithful and after reading up about stuff realize she was very codependent insisting on being by her side all the time, keeping in touch via text and calls & frowning on any female interaction from my part.
Here's the best bit....& she told me this! She was straight on Tinder and hooked up with a guy within 5 days and told me filthy intimate things that they did together. She called me last weekend to say she was going for a day out with him but didn't want to & she wanted me. Being a sucker and not wanting anyone else to have her I spent 3 days with her in a vain attempt to try and resolve everything (again!) & again due to me requesting she showed me dozens of intimate messages (some slutty!) shared with her and different men on Facebook & SnapChat. She said she has slept with 2 men since our split but I suspect 4! She also told me she had a sexual experience with one of her girl friends months ago & attacked me one night in a fit of rage! WTF
I know she's doing this to make me feel jealous and simply moving on with her life but I have completely lost my compass & sanity over this. She has more male friends than female, has a colorful sexual past but has said to me if I can make that commitment she will agree to move away. close all her social media down and start a new fresh life with our girls.
I know what the correct answer is here & feel a little embarrassed even posting this but it kind of helps tapping away on these keys getting it all out. I have been ill the last three months since we split, lost weight, been unable to concentrate on my career or family despite looking after myself and doing all the right things.
I know I need to put distance between the two of us & focus on myself but I still keep getting these nagging doubts that I'm losing the best thing that ever happened to me..
Feel a bit of a laughing stock even reading over what I have written but here goes...
I think the only distance you need to put between you and her is the length of your average restraining order.
Your daughter on one hand, a controlling, cheating, controlling neurotic on the other.
Pretty easy choice there. You only have one daughter. Girlfriends are like buses. Meanwhile, there will be another one in another few weeks.
Here are some statistics. Second marriages fail more than 67% of the time. Third marriages fail over 73% of the time. Women (or men) come and go. Your kids are FOREVER. Focus on your kid. Be the best Dad you can be. She is only going to grow up once.
Kids don't need a string of random screwed up girlfriends/boyfriends in their lives. They need stability. Keep your dating life separate from your daughter.
Sounds like your GF "had you like no other" because she was a freak in bed. That isn't love.
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