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Bearsdad poster was probably just referencing the story from a man's perspective, I can't speak for him, but that's how I interpret those types of posts. Everyone knows that women are out in the workforce and have assets etc etc. that they may lose. I don't always interpret these post as necessary being misogynistic.
This is not directed to you specifically, but you reminded me it is time to bring up this point again:
Gentlemen, if you marry take into consideration a woman's career and finances. When divorce occurs between equals, then so is the division of assets.
Totally agree. But...what happens when a guy who makes 100k+ and has a retirement, savings and 401k marries a woman who makes 40k and just went thru bankruptcy and has nothing. Then, she moves in HIS house and then decides she is in love with someone else and wants a divorce. THEN she takes half of the assets. Now, keep in mind she came with nothing and yes, they accumulated some joint assets while married and he paid off all her debts she came with. But, the ex-wife walks away with the house and 280k. Not a bad profit I would say.
Equal partners, equal assets going into a relationship would be much easier to figure out.
And yes, I would marry again if it felt right. There would just be a pre-nup if I was the one with the most to lose.
There are no benefits to marriage for men. If you think it means steady sex it doesn't and usually as soon as the kids come along the sex gets really sporadic and usually less and less. This seems to be a universal experience among every guy I know from 35-55. My wife tried to get me to live without sex and as soon as my kids were grown I divorced her so fast, her head is still spinning. Plus I am having the best time of my life! If you are a woman; the two keys to keeping your man happy are simple; good food and good sex. It is very simple. Also, do not constantly pester him about dumb stuff.
Only if he is a complete a$$. Thankfully my husband isn't. He is an awesome, fun, engaged, caring man who views me as a wonderful, fun, funny engaged, caring PERSON not a domestic servant with a hole for his d!ck. Maybe THAT is why we have such a rocking sex life after 25 years and two kids! I know. Crazy talk.
Only if he is a complete a$$. Thankfully my husband isn't. He is an awesome, fun, engaged, caring man who views me as a wonderful, fun, funny engaged, caring PERSON not a domestic servant with a hole for his d!ck. Maybe THAT is why we have such a rocking sex life after 25 years and two kids! I know. Crazy talk.
The post you responded to was premised on pretty gross generalizations, and so your response makes perfect sense. Your experience is not necessarily any more universal than that noted in the comment you quoted, though. Lots of married people's sex lives drop off or even disappear without either partner being a bad guy. There can be a multitude of reasons for this, only one of which being that the husband has little regard for his wife as a person.
I come from a different culture and background than what I've seen on this forum, so the benefits of being married have a different meaning for me. Besides the financial benefit and support, people have more respect for you if you are married especially a 40 year old woman such as myself.
When I was married, we supported each other more than those that were just considered a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. We didn't break up over measly things. We worked it out until nothing could work anymore. We were a family. His family was my family and vice versa.
To me, there is actually more benefits to being married than not, BUT it has to be with the right person. The commitment is on a whole different level compared to someone who is not married. If I could find the right person, I would get married again.
Totally agree. But...what happens when a guy who makes 100k+ and has a retirement, savings and 401k marries a woman who makes 40k and just went thru bankruptcy and has nothing. Then, she moves in HIS house and then decides she is in love with someone else and wants a divorce. THEN she takes half of the assets. Now, keep in mind she came with nothing and yes, they accumulated some joint assets while married and he paid off all her debts she came with. But, the ex-wife walks away with the house and 280k. Not a bad profit I would say.
Equal partners, equal assets going into a relationship would be much easier to figure out.
And yes, I would marry again if it felt right. There would just be a pre-nup if I was the one with the most to lose.
But then you have some cases, where they entered the relationship with nothing .He makes $100k+, she makes $20k at most, but takes care of the household, his side business, handles his finances, manages his 401k, etc
She takes $60k equity of the equity in the house (equal to 30%), leaves his retirement alone even though she had nothing saved in her name, while spending years as a housewife. She left 3 vehicles, the cabin, atvs, motorcycles, jet skis, furniture, dishes, etc. He did buy me some clothes,a couch, linens and kitchen stuff new because he didn't want me to take anything from the house.
Bottom line he only had everything because I managed his money.
Totally agree. But...what happens when a guy who makes 100k+ and has a retirement, savings and 401k marries a woman who makes 40k and just went thru bankruptcy and has nothing. Then, she moves in HIS house and then decides she is in love with someone else and wants a divorce. THEN she takes half of the assets. Now, keep in mind she came with nothing and yes, they accumulated some joint assets while married and he paid off all her debts she came with. But, the ex-wife walks away with the house and 280k. Not a bad profit I would say.
Equal partners, equal assets going into a relationship would be much easier to figure out.
And yes, I would marry again if it felt right. There would just be a pre-nup if I was the one with the most to lose.
Right - so why marry someone who's gone through a bankruptcy? Marry someone with "less to gain" from a divorce and maybe that ups your odds of not divorcing or at least "divorcing well"? It's all part of the package...if doing well financially is important to you then you don't marry someone already in the hole financially, etc.
Because you might change your mind once you actually have a gf and feel real love. You are making big relationship statements without having any experience in it.
It's like a person saying driving a car isn't fun but never sat behind the wheel.
OK, imagine this. You're on a train, chugga-chugging along at 60 MPH, on tracks going parallel to a highway. (Well, the highway was built much later than the tracks, but hey.) You're fiddling with your work smartphone to forewarn yourself on any e-mails from your boss, but otherwise feeling relaxed and spaced out. Meanwhile, the highway you see out the window has bumper-to-bumper traffic stretching for miles, due to some politicians deciding to start a construction project.
Which shows you don't have to actually drive to realize it's not worth the costs and the wasted time in gridlock caused by endless road construction. As for "Sunday drives", I prefer a Sunday train ride. I know that not all rail lines run on Sundays, but I plan to live next to one that does.
Totally agree. But...what happens when a guy who makes 100k+ and has a retirement, savings and 401k marries a woman who makes 40k and just went thru bankruptcy and has nothing. Then, she moves in HIS house and then decides she is in love with someone else and wants a divorce. THEN she takes half of the assets. Now, keep in mind she came with nothing and yes, they accumulated some joint assets while married and he paid off all her debts she came with. But, the ex-wife walks away with the house and 280k. Not a bad profit I would say.
Equal partners, equal assets going into a relationship would be much easier to figure out.
And yes, I would marry again if it felt right. There would just be a pre-nup if I was the one with the most to lose.
I don't agree with the laws when that happens so yeah I would get a prenup if the money is so uneven.
The post you responded to was premised on pretty gross generalizations, and so your response makes perfect sense. Your experience is not necessarily any more universal than that noted in the comment you quoted, though. Lots of married people's sex lives drop off or even disappear without either partner being a bad guy. There can be a multitude of reasons for this, only one of which being that the husband has little regard for his wife as a person.
"If you think it means steady sex"... Only if you are an a$$ applies. If this is what you think, then you are. And you get what you deserve after the glow wears off.
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