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I just have to wonder how you are presenting this to your dates...because not wanting to marry or have kids are usually options you can check for an online dating profile. So to bring those up on a first date would just be to confirm that you share what you should share with them since it was already stated - no biggie. But if you are not being upfront and then get all militant and strident on a first date then yeah, you're gonna have a lot of bad first dates.
I do get the feeling you enjoy being different and maybe getting on a soapbox and then getting to tell everyone how different you are and how hard it is. YES - you ARE different and when you're different it is harder to find people. That's something you should have learned in high school and not have it be a chip on your shoulder now.
Maybe you're presenting what you want in the most negative and extreme way to "be sure" she understands you...I dunno what your strategy is...but it may be time to try something different.
All my dates up to this point have been with people I have known prior to our date (I haven't done online dating yet). normally we will just be talking and lets say for example we see a baby pass by us while we are out and she will comment "awwww how cute, I cant wait to have a family and get married" and I will let them know how i feel about that subject in a normal way. The date will continue just fine, but in my head i already know its over. isn't everyone different from each other?. I am pretty humble, i don't talk down to people, i was raised to be very respectful and kind to everyone. I don't think I am, but you could be right, i do want to make sure the girl understands how i feel about those subjects, I try to say it as normal as possible.
I would say about 10 years now, I haven't come that close, usually on the first date I will find out that the girl usually wants marriage, kids or both, and I know there is no point in date number 2, but i will giver online dating a try and see how that goes.
With online dating you can list your preferences easily.
That might work. You might consider dating a bit older.
Eh, at your age, most women you meet will likely want kids and family. You might have to wait lots later to find someone who values their independence. There are women like that out there, I'm one. But I'm also way past the point of wanting children. There are women out there that want the same things you do, but you'll have to make it very clear on your dating profile. Or only date from childfree dating sites.
Eh, at your age, most women you meet will likely want kids and family. You might have to wait lots later to find someone who values their independence. There are women like that out there, I'm one. But I'm also way past the point of wanting children. There are women out there that want the same things you do, but you'll have to make it very clear on your dating profile. Or only date from childfree dating sites.
That is a big concern especially at my age, but i will try my best to find what i am looking for. I am always upfront about how i feel about those three things and will continue to be.
that is what really appeals to me about online dating, being able to put what you prefer.
Don't forget about the downside of online dating: women on there get around 100 messages per day. The bulk of them are crap like "sup!" or _ick pics. But even so, it means one thing: your message, no matter how well-written, will likely get drowned out in a sea of irrelevance. This is exponentially more true for women with no kids, since this is who most men (including yourself) prefer as a romantic partner.
You can help your odds by contacting women either early in the morning or late at night, so your message will appear at the top or bottom of their inbox, where they'll be more likely to see it.
Don't forget about the downside of online dating: women on there get around 100 messages per day. The bulk of them are crap like "sup!" or _ick pics. But even so, it means one thing: your message, no matter how well-written, will likely get drowned out in a sea of irrelevance. This is exponentially more true for women with no kids, since this is who most men (including yourself) prefer as a romantic partner.
You can help your odds by contacting women either early in the morning or late at night, so your message will appear at the top or bottom of their inbox, where they'll be more likely to see it.
thank you for pointing that out, I had no idea. thanks for the tip as well.
It has been almost a year since i made this thread and I just wanted to give an update. I still feel the same about kids\marriage and co-habitation. I have decided that unless I change on these three topics there is no reason to even try to date and I will just live my life. Chances of me finding a girl who will agree with all three is next to 0% and I am okay with being single for the rest of my life it it comes to that.
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