Husband and I have completely different food preferences, but he wants me to conform to his (woman, loving)
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Growing up, my dad categorically refused to eat cheese (not lactose intolerant, no health issues, just doesn't eat cheese, any cheese). The rest of us ate cheese. Adopting his eating habits was not a thing.
It's one thing if you don't have the same tastes. But it's completely unreasonable when he expects you to change (and it would entirely unreasonable for you to expect him to change to your eating habits as well).
So you have a couple choices.
Change and be miserable the rest of your life.
Talk to him and try to compromise or maybe get him to go to counseling.
Tell him to suck it up, you'll eat what you want. And decide at the same time if you're going to be the one cooking two meals. TabulaRasa is right. Your husband is displaying controlling behavior and if you cross him, he may throw you out or hit you upside the head. So before you stand up to him, make sure you have your bags packed and ready to go in case you need to leave in a hurry or have 911 on speed dial.
I completely understand someone who is a vegan for ethical reasons, wanting their partner to also be a vegan. I've known some vegans who have this preference or even a mandate when being in a relationship with someone else.
I'm assuming that he was vegan before you were a couple, so if that's the case, I don't understand why he has such a problem at this point. That's something that should have been brought to his attention a while ago, like before you were together, if he really has a problem with it.
My girl and myself eat a little differently. My metabolism is that of a 98 year old female that's 4 foot 11 and weighs 86 pounds, well it's not quite that bad haha.. Due to losing 120 pounds or so. I've kept it off for about 8 years, but it comes at the cost of having a roughly 14000-15000 per week maintenance calorie rate, a little bit more with an hour of riding the stationary bike. I indulge on some nights and she'll cook or we'll go out. It's no big deal.
This person sounds like a lot of people we've had posters complain about in threads, a giant tool.
So, my husband is an adamant vegan who does not like much fat in his diet at all. He likes very plain/mushy/gruel-like dishes. He hates tomatoes, mushrooms, olives, anything too exotic, capers, eggplant, zucchini, bone broth, coconut, any type of squash, many other things, etc.
Basically, he only eats lentils, rice, and onions. He doesn't even like salt or vinegar.
I prefer eating with more variety, flavor, and actually chewing.
I try to tell him that I'm fine with him eating as he pleases, but i don't really like his food, and he doesn't need to cook for me, but he's very insistent, as he thinks I don't eat healthy enough (because I often use things like coconut oil, butter, eggs, dark meat chicken, frying things up or baking them with oil, pickled veggies, etc).
And no, I'm not fat (I'm 5'10 and 125 lbs, he's 5'9 and 180). Both of us are healthy as can be (we recently got very in-depth check-up).
This is literally the only thing we argue about. He's super against eating different meals since "family should eat the same thing".
I'm willing to force down his food (which he accepts no suggestions on) a few times a week, but I'd really like to actually enjoy eating...
The body needs healthy fats. He's eating an unbalanced, unhealthy diet. He's depriving his body of essential nutrients. There's no reason for you to do the same.
Couples do not have to eat the same thing. I wonder how far he's going to take this insistence. Considering you two tied the knot, and all....
I completely understand someone who is a vegan for ethical reasons, wanting their partner to also be a vegan.
He didn't say it was for ethical reasons. And he's taking it much farther than mere veganism. He's refusing to eat healthy oils, even from plant sources. And he won't eat tomatoes, squashes, certain spices it sounds like, etc.
He's behaving like a child, who not only won't eat what mommy puts on the table, he insists mommy needs to eat the same highly limited menu that he eats. That's not gonna happen.
HIS diet doesn't sound at all healthy. Not sure why he wants you to do the same.
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Tell him you're going to eat what you want, end of discussion. Then ignore him, eat what you want, and hopefully he shuts up on the issue. It may take a while, but putting an end to his control issues may save your marriage and your health. "Mush Mouth" diets like his are not balanced nor healthy.
Last edited by Harpaint; 05-07-2017 at 05:40 AM..
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. Due to losing 120 pounds or so. I've kept it off for about 8 years, but it comes at the cost of having a roughly 14000-15000 per week maintenance calorie rate, a little bit more with an hour of riding the stationary bike. I indulge on some nights and she'll cook or we'll go out. It's no big deal.
